Could I not remember???

Nope never! I've started getting really anxious all of a sudden

I can only speak for myself. But back when I was a teenager normal male sexual urges was taught as being bad and female urges were considered rare or shifting. In fact assemblies in high school about date rape taught that boys could "lose control" if asked to stop once we got going because somehow.... LOL who knows. They taught some crazy stuff for a good cause of protecting girls. But the way they taught it was like most guys become some type of uncontrollable monster that could not think at all and would just violate girls because of sexual urges. I got the impression that I was already seen as guilty just because I am a guy. The whole thing always made me paranoid because of my lack of experience at the time. It also made me paranoid that a girl may claim rape later ruining my life simply because she decided that she did not find the experience enjoyable. They really bleed the line on purpose between what is consensual sex and un-enjoyable sex and rape.

That and I knew some people that actually were assaulted. I felt bad for them and although I did nothing to them I felt they may not want to be around me because of all the indoctrination already mentioned. I felt that as being a guy I was the route of their fear. And perhaps I was because they now had stuff to wok past because they were violated. But that was not my fault. I was always worried about offending somebody else accidently and that becoming a legal issue.

Chances are if you are worried about sexually assaulting and offending somebody you most likely will not. Those 1% of guys that commit these crimes typically don't worry about that kind of stuff, they only worry about getting caught and make the rest of us look bad. I am willing to bet you just want an enjoyable experience for both you and a partner someday and as a teenager it’s always on your mind.

But perhaps this is something you should talk to an experienced therapist about. I know the reasons for my oddness at the time but yours may be different. I am trying to stay un-political but this subject is very political. My words will be mistaken by those that read between the lines and hear something not present until they get offended. That’s the climate today and it breads people that are ashamed to say things that are on their minds.

I hope you found my ramblings somewhat helpful. I am not very good at communicating in the most effective way.

Thank you Marvin. This was really helpful. I get what you mean. Sometimes I get worried that people might think that I'm being inappropriate toward someone when I'm actually being very respectful. It's all in my head I suppose. Thank you.

Thank you. I'm sorry for your troubles

Yea