Day 1

Posted , 6 users are following.

I've been depressed for about two and a half years but in the typical man way I've just 'got on' with it while I now realise in hindsight I have just been getting progressively worse.

I left my work early yesterday citing a fictional ailment and phoned in for work sick again this morning. I decided that today is the day I finally see someone and try and get this sorted. After a few hours of procrastinating and dilly-daddling I got on the phone.

I've only been in the city where I am now for a few months and haven't registered with a GP. I rang NHS 111 and explained to them how I've been feeling, that I'm not registered anywhere and if they have any advice. They suggested a walk-in clinin in town which I went to. They told me in the nicest way possible that as I'm not registered with a GP, there's nothing they can do and gave me the number for an out of hours doctor.

I'm going to register at my local doctors tomorrow but even then it's going to take 48 hours just to be registered on the system, then however long after that to just get an appointment.

I know I've been pretty naive in expecting to see someone straight away but today was my breaking point and it needed be done.. I feel more lost, drained and empty now  than I ever have when I was faking it and putting on the face and not seeking help for my depression.

I'm currently living in a shared property with people I don't know, my friends are all over the country/world and I have minimal contact with my family. I know I'm going to lose my job. I haven't been there long and can't face going in again this week which means they will just get rid of me, which I've accepted. This leaves me with no money which will inevitably leave me unable to pay my rent and end up with me being homeless.

As mentioned before I now realise I have been very naive in expecting the ball to start rolling in the right direction for me just because I have decided to seek help. The reality is from my first day that the options of where to turn are very limited or have not yet been presented to me. After the sad case of Robin Williams and the media attention surrounding depression because of it I thought this would be a suitable time as peoples perceptions towards depression turn to a more understanding viewpoint.

After my first day of seeking help I am ultimately left feeling lost, disillusioned and a whole lot worse with no idea where to turn to.

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    You have explained your situation very well. Depression is a major issue in today's hectic life. Depression can lead to even death(or i say suicide) as happened to Robin Williams. I am a bit happy to hear that you have decided to get out of it and get treated. 

    As you have told, you are facing problems financially too. I belive you should go back to your parents for sometime, meet your friends, try to spend some time with them and enjoy. This will make you emotionally sound and strong. This will help you come out of depression to some extent. The other plus point is that you don't have to worry about you being homelles. 

    I wish you very good luck and a healthy life ahead. 

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  • Posted

    Hi, I am sorry to hear that you struggling on your own for so long. There is no shame in now seeking help and this forum is a start as people are understanding. I don't know how you can get help without a GP.I would suggest you go to a trusted friend to stay for a while in your home town, you have nothing to lose. Register with a GP and get the ball rolling. Citizens advice bureau can advise on benefits while you cannot work, but you do need a GP to get a sick note. Hope this helps. Keep in touch with others on here. Good luck.  
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  • Posted

    Hi B94888

    Really sorry to hear how you are suffering, I have done much research after my husband became ill with depression apparently it is more difficult for men to admit to depression and seek help, you've done amazingly well, I've had issues myself anxiety and agoraphobia so know what it's like too.  My husband left us all some 11 months ago, despite offers of help he has refused even from medical professionals. 

    My husband has "left" his job and we now face reposession he had worked for the same co for 17 years and it was a mental health trust, he could easily have taken a year off work 6 motnsh at full pay 6 months at half pay but he told me he had been having gfights with people at work so we don't know the true story did he leave of was he pushed?

    Despite having no money that does not matter to me his health does and I told him we would support him no matter what and if we didn't have one penny left as long as we had each other nothing else would matter but sadly he has pushed us all away to deal with this on his own which in 18 months he hasn't!

    You've taken the first step which is a massive step, make sure you are honest about your feelings so you can get the right help.  I really wish you the very best, you will get through this, it will take time but you will get there with the right help, upport and treatment.


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  • Posted

    Mental health issues are very stigmatised, I would recommend going to work, force yourself. Explain your situation to your manager if you feel you can and this may lead to more understanding. I attended work during severe depression and anxiety, you do have to force yourself. As for Robbin Williams I really do believe he was a good man, but likely just in a very bad situation with his diagnosis of parkinsons disease. You have loads of options though. Would reestablishing connections with your family or closening the ones with your friends help? Try opening up to one of them too, or if that makes you uncomfortable just to someone on here. I've found the way to beat depression is a combination of regular cardiovascular exercise (I recommend running for 30 minutes a day) talking to a therapist (you can pay privately at about £40 an hour maybe twice a week depending on what you can afford. Literally just force yourself, you're not feeling at your best but you're doing something about it, you've got to force yourself through having no motivation initially. Your GP may recommend SSRIs (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors) I recommend that you first try getting into a regular exercise regime as this will have the same positive effects with none of the side effects. If you really feel you need them, antidepressants are an option. Try the regular exercise first though. Hope this helps, it is an illness, you will get better.
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  • Posted

    Hi this is not a good situation for you but you have taken the first step by admitting you need help.  A couple of days will soon pass so keep your pecker up.

    If you do get sacked you should make a claim to benefit (probably ESA would be best) when you see the doctor.  Then you will also be able to claim housing benefit and council tax rebate.  So don't panic you will get by.  Let us know how you get on.  

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