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Good afternoon all. I'm going to try and journal daily here, hopefully you all will bored this train with me lol. Just so you know my history, i'm going to recap for you really quick.
I've been on citalopram for years, but I started to become infrequent in taking it. I would miss days here and there and take it at different times. on January 19th my body basically crashed and my anxiety came roaring back. I was only taking 25mg (infrequently) , but on January 23rd I moved up to 30mg . For the first few days of the 30mg i was actually feeling better, but last week my anxiety increased and got pretty bad. From January 28th to February 3rd my appetite was practically non-existent. I also haven't been sleeping at all.
Today is my 12th day on 30 mg. My physical feelings of anxiety aren't as strong as they were. I don't feel as zoned out as I was the past two weeks. I was able yesterday to actually do a photoshoot (i'm a photographer and a teacher) which I was terrified to do. I also was able to eat breakfast today, and lunch. Lunch was a little difficult, but I did eat. at this current moment I'm not really as anxious, but I am having intrusive thoughts which are my biggest problem. My thoughts consist of me being scared that I won't get better that I will be stuck in this cycle. I've been through this before, so I know I can get through it but it's difficult. I'm definitely still having morning anxiety which is a sucky way to start your day, but I'm making it through the day. What's really interesting to me is that by 6 or 7 oclock i nearly feel normal again, it's definitely something I look forward to each and every day right now. I'll probably check back in throughout the day to give an update.
The positives of the day are:
I ate breakfast, and lunch.
I actually did feel a little hungry this morning.
I drove myself to work
I haven't been to physically anxious today.
I have completed task on my to do list.
My gf and best friend are telling me I seem to be getting better.
Thanks for listening to me
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