Day 4. Massive anxiety and confusion.

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So.... I've been an alcoholic pretty well all my life, most likely due to anxiety I've felt since, well, as long as I can remember. I've been off of Booze for 99% of the last 11 years but when the anxiety creeps back in I just give in and go on a bender. It doesn't fly well with the people around me, nor myself. Talking to people recently about anxiety it turns out I've been plagued with it forever. I did try another ssri years ago but went off of it. My anxiety is not a permanent thing, but when it comes Holy man its overwhelming. So, Booze it is and an other cycle of shame etc... Happens. I just want to be like my wife and be normal. How have peoples experiences been with this?

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  • Posted

    As regards anxiety I have been plgued almost all my life. The problem is there can be many different 'triggers' but yes when it starts it is overwhelming but since booze is something I can't tolerate well, tho have indulged, soon realised it only made things worse. It's hard for 'normal' people to understand these feelings because they feel helpless. I know cita works but requires perserverance to get past the side effects, which I don't remember being so bad before, but hey ho. I need to accept that , due to chronic pain' I need to stay on cita indefinitely. Since drinking makes me ill I don't really mind not having and have learned it wont make the anxiety go away. I hope you feel better soon.
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  • Posted

    Morning Schlider, I also have pretty much drank all my life, just the way it was with my family!! And I like a good Old Fashion!! I also would not drink and out of the blue, decide to drink and not stop for a couple days. And sobering up was horrible, and not proud of myself and let the ones I love down. My last little episode I went to the Dr. Mainly I needed a slip to go back to work, he said I was depressed and put me on this medication and said u really don't want to drink, went on it and haven't wanted or had a drink.was on it 4 months and even though the Dr. said if I go off of it before 6 months I will go back to drinking, I went off of it, gained a few pounds, neck was hurting all the time, so I went off!! It's been a month off, there were times I thought of having a drink( usually like weddings, graduations) but didn't want one at all! I think being on it has helped point me in the right direction, u can have fun without drinking. But I think u still need to find out how to deal with things that make u wanna drink and not let the alcohol win, and trust me alcohol has been the winner in my life many times, but not anymore! I wish I hadn't gone on Cita, that I would have faced the drinking head on, but if the Cita had me not drink then it's worth it. You said u have been sober 99% of the time, ( not a therapist here, just my opinion) I would not go on Cita for that 1% u go on a bender. I would really try and talk thru this with a therapist or family and friends and once u get thru an anxiety attack once, u will get stronger and gain control in those situations. And if that isn't working by all means I would go on Cita. for some it's been a life saver. Best Wishes😀. Beth
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    • Posted

      I appreciate the 99% thing, but it's misleading. Sure I didn't drink, but I was plagued with anxiety and depression.... I can remember having heart issues when I was 12. Also, that 1% will surely end my family life. I have a good life. My mind doesn't let me see that. Still hammering away with massive anxiety.
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    • Posted

      I'm sorry to hear that u have been dealing with this so long. I really hope this starts to get better, real soon. I can really see how u want to get this under control for everyone in your life. Hang in there!! Peace!!
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  • Posted

    Hey Schlider, I was also bad drinker/drug user anything to ride the wave of happiness I was in! been clean 2 years for the most part still feels like yesterday i was drinking taking and take strong action in preventing a relapse avoiding certain places people even smells believe it or not! I keep right away but sometimes would love a drink!! since having anxiety/depression or should I say since my panic attack March this year that has made me not want to drink as I honestly believe I have suffered mental damage from the abuse ? Its sounds like you know you have a problem and need a little help though whereas if you were like me thinking it was normal to be on a bender Tuesday night! keep fighting the urge you are human it wont be easy but get the help you need speak to many people get advice whatever it takes man! keep us posted how things are going wink
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    • Posted

      Still plugging at it. The side effects I seem to most be getting is extreme anxiety. And I mean extreme. Debilitating. I visited the document today and she gave me a small dose of adivan to get through the worst spots. I own a business so time off is unlikely. Been some of the worst I've experienced.
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