Dealing with schizo paranoia. Worried I’m at risk.

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Hi.  My situation is a little strange, and I want to preface this that I have schizoaffective disorder, and so I have very heightened paranoia.  I am 23 and I met a girl, got to trust her and then we talked about having a friends with benefits relationship.  She is 22.  Well, about 55 days ago, I had sex with her with a condom on, and I was a virgin before this.  Since she knew I was a virgin, and she was completely confident in her own status, repeating over and over that she was clean and on birth control, and that she had been tested months back for every STD and was negative for everything, and that she hadn’t had sex in 9 months.  I kept resisting, and then she took the condom off herself and, in the dark, maneuvered herself onto me.  I didn’t realize what was happening, and it was a big breach in my trust, and I instantly started worrying, which messed everything up.  Still, I tried to power through the worry, but I was so nervous that I couldn’t, and had to stop the session short.  She kept on saying “but I swear I’m 100% clean.”  I was tested for the four major stds, and then at 45 days I was tested for HIV (having no symptoms), and the test came back negative.  I have learned from the whole experience that I need real intimacy.

I am now have a girlfriend, and I have told her that I’d like to get to know intimately before having sex.  However, I’m reading online that you have to wait six months to be cleared for HIV.  Something tells me that me and my girlfriend are not going to be able to wait another four months before my six month mark is up, and she would think it rather odd.  We definitely could make it to the three month mark.  She had a hysterectomy and it wouldn’t make sense to her if I wore a condom I would have to tell her, if there was any need to. I talked to my primary care doctor and she said she my schizo paranoia was getting in the way, but she couldn’t give me the okay to have unprotected sex, and that she would give me the three month and six month tests if I wanted.  However, an urgent care doctor said I would be fine waiting three months.  I feel like if I told my girlfriend the story of my one night stand that she would break up with me, but I want to do whatever is fair for her, even if she did break up with me.  But I know deep down that I am probably worrying about nothing.  I have talked to the girl I slept with afterwards and she keeps telling me I’m paranoid, that she has been tested.  But then I start thinking crazy things like... “Oh but the one night stand girl got a tattoo... Or what if she didn’t wait six months after having sex with the last person?”  She was not a druggy, but a nice girl, a Christian.  

Is waiting to the three month stage enough?  Would someone please help explain how all this works to me?

Thank you

Tim

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Tim which country are you in? U.K. Canada and USA guidelines I know are only three months for a conclusive HIV result. 

    Hope this helps! 

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    • Posted

      Hey Joanne, 

      There is a few of different way for testing HIV and three months for a conclusive is an "old saying". 

      In the UK, if you tested with a P24 antigen test after 28 days, if the result come back with NEGATIVE, we considered as a CONCLUSIVE result.

      The 3 months is also right, but it means if only tested antibodies as antigen show earlier then antibodies. 

      I think in US. they definite use antigen test on HIV test as PreP is widely using in the US, and the guideline for PreP is before taking, a HIV antigen& antibody test is required, which the test is required after 28 days.

      Best, 

      Hugo  

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  • Posted

    Dear Cobratim, 

    Please have a look at my reply for Joanne, a p 24 antigen &antibody test (window period 28 days) is the best for you. 

    And you already did your test at 45 days, have a look on what test it is, if it is a P24 hiv antigen & antibody test. then you can totally move on to your life. If not, go to get this test, i am very confident of your NEGATIVE result.

    Best,

    Hugo

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    • Posted

      Thanks for the heads up Hugo. I'm just going off what I've been told at the GUM. Three months to be sure they said. Didn't realise it had changed! How do you know if you have a p24 antigen or an antibody only? 

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    • Posted

      Hey Joanne, 

      I am sorry for my late reply as i was in gym. 

      Well, there is nothing wrong with 3 months window period. Just because with the testing technology development, we are using more different test way to test HIV. 

      P24 antigen and antibody is a testing way, which also be called as 4th generation.   the different from 3rd generation is the 4th one test not only antibodies but also antigen but the 3rd generation is only testing antibodies,  as we known, HIV antigen will show up around 28 days, so any 4th generation test method after 28 days will be considered as a conclusive result. 

      The 3rd generation test sill good used as "home test kit". 

      3 months window time is a deadline for HIV checking, unless the patient has something very serious in there immunity system (like drink a glass of wine and totally drunk), those kind of people may have delay the window time, but definite not for major group. 

      If anything you still want to discuss with me please just ask!cheesygrin

      Best, 

      Hugo

       

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    • Posted

      Thanks Hugo, are the rapid tests in the uk 4th gen? I had a rapid test 4.5 months after very low risk exposure because I do have really bad anxiety and waited that bit extra. It was when I first got with my partner and was having a full screen. They told me that would be sufficient. I then got tested for everything else too which is fine. I do get drunk really easily so hoping that doesn't mean anything haha. 

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    • Posted

      Haha, 

      you are more then welcome, joanne. 

      It could be a rapid test for P24 antigen&antibody test, cost around 20 mins. but in the UK, we use 3rd generation for hiv rapid test and the result will be shown in 1 mins. 

      For the 4th generation test, the best is get test and send the sample to the lab, it is a little bit more accurate then a rapid 4th generation test. but still, window time after 28 days.

      In your case, 4.5 months should be totally fine for all of the testing way. You are NEGATIVE. 

      If you still worried, PreP will be a good way for you, over 99% protection for hiv, have a look at "I want PreP".

      Best, 

      Hugo

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    • Posted

      Oh I don't think I should, I totally get what you mean it's an amazing drug but I have OCD and have to learn to deal with it mentally which I am doing. I'm in a solid relationship and take precautions. But my rapid test took 20 mins!! Finger prick thing. Thanks btw you're so knowledgable are u in the field? 

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    • Posted

      Hey Joanne, 

      I am glad to hear that you know how to solve your problem. 

      The 1 min test comes from Canada, and the result shown neither 1 spot or 2 spots, 1 spot means negative, 2 spots means potential positive result which required future test (virus loads or western bolts). But it is still a 3rd generation testing method. 

      The different between 3rd and 4th generation is when you see your test paper, if they wrote both AG and AB, then it is a 4th test, if only AB, then it is a 3rd generation test. No matter with the time. 

      I am not professional doctor, i am just a marketing area PhD researcher, but my topic is about STDs in online health forum, so i learned those knowledge by myself because my background is HR and project management. But, i enjoy helping people and discussing with them on those questions, so if you have any question, just hit my up, i will try my best to answer. 

      Best, 

      Hugo

       

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