Dealing with spouces
Posted , 13 users are following.
how is anyone else coping with spouces who just don't get what we are going through??? nights for me are hell. I barely get sleep with these electric falling feeling and heat rushes that lead to anxiety..then all day when I'm up the crushing headache and flu feeling. again with the heat rushes that feel like thousands of pins and needles..i just don't feel well then on top the anxiety of not giving enough affection. I am at the point where I get really upset when asked for a kiss. for who's benefit??? if u see im clearly struggling why so selfish to want things to make u feel better?? it seems it's getting worse .im hoping when I change my insurance I might be able to find a dr to help me..i think if it was just a hot rush here and thete Wed all be ok but all these other symptoms??. really?? half the time im out of breath or feeling like im not breathing on top of the heart raci g and dizzy spells ..now at times I just lay awake and cry. U can't have a life let alone a relationship when u are struggling everyday just to get up and do normal things. anyone else going through this too???
3 likes, 13 replies
katie21085 jaynie08827
Edited
hi I just want to reach out and let you know you're nor alone. I am peri and have only just realised that that it what is making me feel like this. i got lucky and stumbled across the most sympathetic nurse who allowed me to not be so harsh on myself or my other half(!) She was really clear on the fact that this is just hormones, all crap but just hormones! As I am not yet menopausal I can’t go on HRT so I am on a low dose antidepressant and the difference has been immense. Life is a lot more balanced now, not so many major highs and major lows. I know this isn’t the answer for everybody but for me it 100% has been, maybe it is something you could consider as your Symptoms sound so similar to where I was - all the extremes of emotions on top of, just life. I I found this new balance has allowed me to get back to my life.
I was also able to tell my husband that I had an actual diagnosis and show him a list of symptoms and asked him to be a little more understanding. certainly with my husband that was really helpful - I think they like a defined medical scenario to make it 'real' . What ever you decide, forums like this are also really helpful in helping you see you are definitely not alone and speaking to any girlfriends to off load. I hope this helps. ❤
sharcerv52408 katie21085
Posted
Hi Katie,
Which antidepressant was it and did it have any side effects in the beginning before it actually began to work? I have heard of how when you first start an antidepressant that they make you feel like crap at first before it does what it should. I'm just curious.
katie21085 sharcerv52408
Edited
Hi
Its Sertraine and I'm on 50mg a day. I have had absolutely no side-effects and I should point out that I’m definitely not normally an avid tablet taker but this was definitely what I needed. as it turns out. K
ang28869 jaynie08827
Edited
I hear you...I think you are just over whelmed and it kind of feels like another thing added to your "to do" list. When you are just trying to figure out what the heck is going on with your body and emotions it does appear that spouses seem selfish when it comes to their "needs". Its hard to explain whats going on when you don't even know yourself. I read the list to my husband just to let him know I wasn't turning into a crazy lady. I've been going through symptoms for 10 years and I will be 56 soon. Thankfuly he has been good we have good communication. Lack of sleep is a big one! Your not ALONE on this...make the most on the days you feel somewhat like your self. Just try and give him a hug out of the blue, so he isnt second guessing himself that he has done something wrong... and explain everything to him. This really does affect the whole family because in alot of cases you are the core of the family.
dev77856 jaynie08827
Edited
please please please dont do what i did. save yourself years and i mean years of hell on earth and get on bhrt! i wish i did that when i first started this nightmare two and hlf years ago. and you think its bad now? lorrrrrdddd
what hell u say? where to start .... bitchy no sex drive joint pain anxiety lack of passion for life flu feelings etc etc etc....
if tou dont have breast cancer if your family do it.
Eliaimee1970 jaynie08827
Posted
hello
i dont tell my spouse nothing unless he sees me limping or have migranes . other than that im good and im on low dose of antidepresants and I do zumba, walk and it helps . im still have my period but i get night sweats, left hip, shoulder pain, heart palpitations,
Eliaimee1970 jaynie08827
Posted
hello
i dont tell my spouse nothing unless he sees me limping or have migranes . other than that im good and im on low dose of antidepresants and I do zumba, walk and it helps . im still have my period but i get night sweats, left hip, shoulder pain, heart palpitations,
tracyjgordon jaynie08827
Posted
Hey don't worry you are not alone! I have felt the same as you and did for 8 years but just lately things are improving and I am getting closer to my husband gradually, it is really hard dealing with the many menopause symptoms and men do not understand unfortunately. Keep your chin up and look after yourself xx
tracyjgordon jaynie08827
Posted
Hey don't worry you are not alone! I have felt the same as you and did for 8 years but just lately things are improving and I am getting closer to my husband gradually, it is really hard dealing with the many menopause symptoms and men do not understand unfortunately. Keep your chin up and look after yourself xx
CarolDR jaynie08827
Edited
YES! Except my husband went home to be with the Lord, life is rough and getting even rougher not only menopause with its many many many symptoms now on top of my already server chronic case of panic and anxiety I worry about the China Virus that is spreading throughout the USA it's out of hand! Store shelves will soon be bare people are panicking everywhere, I know it's all in God's hands and control including our life with /without menopause , we have to trust His still small voice as He leads us and walks us through every day on how to live and what to do even with our health, Jesus is the great physician and this world is not our home any ways we just passing through. I'm gonna repeat what Abraham said "Trust In God"
Takingtime jaynie08827
Edited
Yes, I know what you are feeling. I have had this for a few years on and off, once all my symptoms started I started to feel resentment to my hubby because I was dealing with this and he would complain that we were not having sex or I wasn't giving him hugs.I think what helped us to some point is communicating and him learning about this phase and what women go through, it was learning for both of us. It is a change for them too as we are not the same people they married when we are irritated and on edge (for good reason) a lot of the times.
sharcerv52408 jaynie08827
Edited
It is very difficult dealing with certain responsibility during menopause. I have two school-aged kids and a husband who are all emotionally unstable. It can be hell on Earth for me. If I could find a good paying job, I would have left him long ago. Sometimes the stress is too much to bear. If it wasn't for my faith in God I know I would have lost my mind already.
CarolDR jaynie08827
Posted
I can SO relate! It's like we are caught in a trap period and there's no escape for one reason or the other!!!