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depressed

Posted , 5 users are following.

daisy2lazy
daisy2lazy

Dont know what to do im not sure if i got depression or its my personality as iv been this way mostly since a kid, im really awkward with people think its social anxiety which compounds my feeling depressed i think, i cant talk to anyone except my sons dad who im not with in a relationship properly but still with but its weird, i talk to my mum about my feelings before at times, but even though she is never judgeing i end up feeling embarrassed after and i have a bit of a bad relationship with her anyway, i feel its all so messed up as nothing is good in my life no relationship or friendship has ever been normal or felt properly close to anyone, well my sons dad but thats the thing im not even inlove with him , but even if we are just friends i am feeling hatred towards him or just wishing i didnt have to talk to him for no real reason,,,,,,,,i feeling very irritable everyday all the time,,, i hate my son talking to me alot, i feel so apathetic about talkin to anyone anyone at all....plus i feel iv nothing nice to say anyway or interesting thing to say just i could talk about my feelings for hours or months but i feel ill never get to be happy,,,,,,i think i want to die some times,,, i tried 3 times in my teen years now i have a son i know i shouldnt do it an i probably coulndt anyway but i hate myself so much for being this way,,,,,,,i am SO SO SO LAZYYYY , im selfish and resent having to play or look after my son,,,,But im not happy even when hes not there,,,,im never happy but i can forget my feelings if im watching a program iv gotten into,,,,dose that sound like depression or just maybe hormones....all iv ever enjouyed in life was drinking thats what i just wish i could do sometimes i just wanna get drunk but i cant but i think of kicking my 4 yr old son out to his dads so i can go back to being an alcy , but i know thats meaningless life aswell as this life,,, i wasent happy back then anyway an iv never never never been happy, but i get to scared going doctors,,,my social anxiety im so scared of ppl i feel hate talking to them,,, hate people now just feel like i want to be alone and not have to see or talk to anyone ever,, but sometimes i do start feeling lonely but feel like i cant have friends as im not a good enough perosn ect i hate living the way i am as i keep feeling sad for my having a mum like me, i shout at him almost daily,,, everything he says to me angers me mostly , but then i have times im good with him but i feel like so terrible for him,,, w=is he better off without me am i hurting him more by staying then leaving

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • areejgh
    areejgh daisy2lazy

    Posted

    Omg I have the same feelings!! Thanx god don't have kids. Because ireally can't take care of them. I just laughing when I'm drunk. I hate all Humans! Wut happend to us.... I hate my self also .

  • Bluesky36
    Bluesky36 daisy2lazy

    Posted

    You first have to look at yourself and face the way you feel sometimes counselling helps and if you face your fears I know it is hard you can do it ...I know it makes you feel worse at the time but once you have done this it will make you feel better

    If your teen years has such a impact on you address the things that affect you write a journal and look at how it affects you but also keep a journal of what makes you happy ...even though you feel this way at one point in your life there was happiness and remembering the good and not dwelling on the bad would help your kids love you and they will be understanding if you be honest with them and make them part of things

  • anon85986
    anon85986 daisy2lazy

    Posted

    Hi Daisy, I think it is really good that you came here. Everyone here is battling something and can relate to everyone else.

    Probably everyone will rightly tell you to go to your GP and get some meds.

    I do know for a fact that social anxiety can be successfully treated in a series of counseling sessions.

    You will need to start making appointmenst with these professionals to put your life on track. good luck. You can definitely overcome your despair!

  • marry48824
    marry48824 daisy2lazy

    Posted

    Guided Meditation for Detachment From Over-Thinking (Anxiety / OCD / Depression)

    WATCHING THIS VIDEO

    http://j.gs/15006727/guided-meditation-for-detachment

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