Depressed about my partner, being diagnosed with bowel cancer

Posted , 4 users are following.

Here is my story

My partner was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer (not curable) in october 2014, he had an op for remove the primary cancer and now has a stoma. after a few weeks for recovery, he started chemo (8 rounds of chemo). After that he had a break from chemo, as it did what it suppose to do (according to his oncologist). 

A few weeks after that he was suffering pain near his kidney, so he was admitted to hospital again, had some test and found that the tube that connected the left kidney to the bladder was obstrusted by a swollen lymphnode. so the doctor had to connect a bag that drain the kidney.

A few days after the procedure, he was discharged from hospital as he was to restart his chemo this monday. But he is in so much pain so he is now in hospital again.

I feel that i cant sleep, not eaten a proper meal for days

i cant concentrate.

I cant even watch TV without getting lost

I feel like i cant support my partner through this

I feel guilty for my partner

When this all happened, i went to see my doctors, but they referred me to Mental Health Services in Leeds, but i never do past the first stages of an initals questions. As it was "too early"

Will i be able to bypast seeing my doctor again, and go st8 to ringing the Mental Health services?

I think i need help, with coping with this?

Thanks for reading this!!



1 like, 4 replies

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4 Replies

  • Posted

    Hello Keendy81 

    yes I think you do 


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  • Posted

    How awful for both of you.

    As you have correctly identified, the danger here Keeny is that your own mental or physical health could start to deteriorate.

    A phone call to the mental health team at your local hospital might get the ball rolling for you, and if that does not work you are going to have to go through your GP.

    Have you considered phoning the local branch of 'Mind' as they will certainly help you if you explain the circumstances?

    Please let me know how you go on.

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  • Posted


    I am so sorry for the awful time you and your partner are going through at the moment.

    Whilst it is your partner who has this dreadful disease it is important you don't lose sight of your health and y

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  • Posted

    That sent too early I'm sorry.


    I am so sorry for the awful time you and your partner are going through at the moment.

    Whilst it is your partner who has this dreadful disease it is important you don't lose sight of your health and your needs.

    Some areas are allowing self referral into mental health services now, though certainly in my area it is in its very early stages and the waiting list is about a year. So maybe this is not the best way of getting around seeing your GP, and obviously you need support now, not however long the waiting list may be.

    My partner has a chronic long term spinal condition and I have received great (free) counselling and advice through the Carer's Centre in my local YMCA. Perhaps there's something like this in your area?

    It's also worth contacting cancer charities directly as they will more than likely have some means of support for you.

    If all else fails, is there a particular reason you don't want to see your GP? They tend to know a bit about local charities and services that aren't necessarily tied in with the NHS but would be able to help you.

    Wishing you and your partner the best of luck xx

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