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Depressed after operation and bereavement

Posted , 2 users are following.

shirley17649
shirley17649

Hi all,

Was not sure which group to put this on.

I had a total hip replacement on 17th September after two and a half years of pain and two failed ops.

On 12 th October my mother=in-law died aged 91 after a protracted illness.

I am now 67, soon to be 68 and the eldest surviving family member.

I am recovering well from my hip op BUT I have this weird sensation that I will be next to go.

I feel as if the Grim Reaper is after me.

Please be gentle, funeral tomorrow.

1 like, 10 replies

10 Replies

  • lorraine52317
    lorraine52317 shirley17649

    Posted

    Bless you Shirley. You have gone through significant trauma and it's perfectly understandable that you will be feeling vulnerable and uncertain on how the future will pan out. At 67 your still very young with lots of years ahead of you. You need to be kind to yourself and relax as much as you can. Trauma of any kind has a tremendous impact on our bodies and in particular our minds.

    I'm so sorry to hear about your painful ops and your recent bereavement. I hope the funeral tomorrow goes as well as it can do in these sad circumstances. You will get through this its all in the timing. But please be kind to yourself over this period. Make sure you don't overlook meals and fluids.

    Here for you!

    God bless

    Lorraine xx

    • shirley17649
      shirley17649 lorraine52317

      Posted

      Thanks lorraine,

      I know this will pass eventually. My husband and children are supportive but even so we are feeling our mortality very sharply at the moment.

      All we seem to talk about is funerals, wills and where we want to be buried/cremated.

      No lively conversation.

      People are asking me where I want to go for my birthday and teh answer is Nowhere at the moment, not in the mood,

    • lorraine52317
      lorraine52317 shirley17649

      Posted

      Hi Shirley

      I do understand thinking about our own mortality. I do too I'm 55 now and not in the best of health due to recovery from my first experience of severe depression. I also talk to family about my wishes when it my time. I don't think we are alone in these thoughts it's a thing I imagine we all do when we get to our later years. Not that we are that old lol!!

      Just think you could have another 30 years plus left! That's a lot of time so make sure you do a lot of living!

      Warmest wishes to you

      As mentioned. .. here if you need me at anytime xx

    • shirley17649
      shirley17649 lorraine52317

      Posted

      Thanks lorraine,

      Yes, you are right I know. At the moment there is nothing I want to do with it, nowhere I want to go.

      I have been housebound for so long I have given up wanting to go anywhere,

      Even shopping no longer appeals. I walk a bit each day to exercise new hip, then wonder why I ever bothered with it.

    • lorraine52317
      lorraine52317 shirley17649

      Posted

      Hi Shirley

      It's easy to become depressed and lose interest after being so unwell with your ops and being mainly housebound. Have you spoken yo your gp about feeling you don't want to go anywhere? It maybe worth getting a medical viewpoint xx Don't forget your still young with lots of things to experience in the future. tap in to all those resources that could help your mindset so you can start to look forward and enjoy the many years you have in front of you xx

    • shirley17649
      shirley17649 lorraine52317

      Posted

      Hi lorraine,

      Just about to change gp as soon as I can. Mine is over-full and busy. I will get an appt with new gp as soon as I can register.

      Maybe I will feel better after funeral.

      Thanks

  • carole28488
    carole28488 shirley17649

    Posted

    Hi, Shirley:  I am also 67, and will be 68 in February.  I can understand where you care coming from.  It seems that everyone around us is dying off.  That, however, is no reason to believe that you will b next.  67 is the new 47, at least here in the USA...You have many, many years ahead of you if you take care of yourself.  Try to spend your days living instead of worrying about dying.  I had to tell myself the same thing when all that is left of my family is my sister and myself...She is 16 months older, but she is in much better shape.  Live a little, and enjoy life...HUGS.
    • shirley17649
      shirley17649 carole28488

      Posted

      Carole,

      You are right. Everyone around us is dying off.

      I am in UK where life expectancy is shorter, I believe.

      Husband has lost his elder brother, father and mother in the last three years. He is feeling rotten too so we do not lift each other up much at present.

  • carole28488
    carole28488 shirley17649

    Posted

    Shirley, I am so sorry for all the losses in your family.  That depresses me, but another thing really gets to me.  I graduated from high school 49 yrs. ago, and I find myself looking at our high school obituaries.  It is very sad to see that people a lot young than my class are dying off, too...I put my trust in God to take care of me and my loved ones. I actually feel better and more at ease, though, as I get older.  I am on two antidepressants a day for a chemical imbalance in my brain, and also estrogen patches, which help a lot, too...I am not growning old very gracefully, but doing the best I can.

    Let's just live from day to day and not worry about tomorrow.  It always takes care of itself....HUGS.

  • shirley17649
    shirley17649

    Posted

    thanks carole

    We must both be in our sixties. I have got to come to terms with this yet and I know I am one of the lucky ones. Plenty of my classmates have already gone.

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