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Before I got married to my husband he had told me he was married already and she was a mental patient. At that time we both needed each other and I didn't pay attention to this part of his life. Anyways way back in 2011 he bought to live with us in the guise that she would help with the kids. She may be a mental patient but she is a very possessive woman and slowly took over my home and my kids. I tried to get along with her but she I never knew of her moods which were often very depressive and very possesive that it started getting to me. I don't know when I started hating this woman. For me hate is a pretty strong word and feeling but through these years it has affected me in a very serious way. Last year she went home to take care of her ailing mother who eventually died but she stayed there and believe it made such a difference. I managed to heal a bit and recover from this feeling of depression and hatred. But last week she came back and he told me it was for a few weeks but I'm scared she will stay and take over again. My heart feels so heavy I want to just sit and cry, I don't want this woman back in our lives again. The fights have started and my crying and depressive spells too. I want to be sane for my 3 little kids. He says I'm being dramatic and over emotional. But I don't know I just can't control my emotions anymore. I don't want this possessive woman anywhere near me. We are not a rich family and my husband is a lone breadwinner. If he was richer this would not have happpened but I left my job because I was getting terrible at handling my emotions. I have so much anger for this woman for ruining our lives. I don't know what to do anymore...feel so helpless and lonely
0 likes, 21 replies
jason31256 caroline36563
Posted
Please take care
elizabeth20203 caroline36563
Posted
gillian20097 caroline36563
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I do however believe that this is not the fault of the women. Yes she may be manipulative and controlling but she is only allowed in your home because your husband is allowing it. You have every right to be angry but I feel you are aiming all this at her when if you think deep enough into this,it is your husbands doing.
He has completely disregarded your feelings and how this is effecting you.
I would get home to one side and say " when we first allowed this women into our homes it was because of her poor mental state and something inside him felt he had a responsibility to help her. You agreed to this because you also wanted to help but now that your own mental health is at risk you would like to see the same loyalty and sense of responsibility to yourself"!!!
Xx
hypercat caroline36563
Posted
I agree that he obviously likes having 2 women to look after him and fight over him. What an egotisical b.....d. And you not only put up with it you condone it. I repeat are you mad??
It is your husband to blame and you for allowing him to treat you like this! If you want my advice you will kick him and his ex out and tell them to go ..... themselves.
Get them both out of your life, sort your head out, and get yourself a job and pick yourself up. You don't need him or his ex. x
caroline36563 hypercat
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hypercat caroline36563
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I was just trying to get you to see that it is your husband who is causing all this and not his ex. He is the one you should be blaming and dealing with not her.
caroline36563
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So you see until she gets her own space I have no choice but to bear her depressive presence. I know i need treatment Jason because I feel so low all the time and so angry at the same time.
jason31256 caroline36563
Posted
please take care
caroline36563 jason31256
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jason31256 caroline36563
Posted
gillian20097 jason31256
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It isnt so easy for other cultures/families to up and leave.
It's easy for me to say that I would fine his a*se right through the door with one foot and the ex wife would be on the end of the other.
However I do appreciate that you may not be able to that Caroline.
You still have rights though hun and I know you may not have much of a say of what happens I'm your home but you can explain that while he is concentrating on her well being he is failing to recognise that you are slowly going down hill. You and your children should be his first priority and if this is making you I'll then he's going to end up not only looking after a ill ex wife but a wife also xxx
caroline36563 gillian20097
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I have wanted out of this relationship many times but I stay becoz of our kids. They are still very young and crazy about him and vice versa. Then there's inflation i cannot raise my kids alone, cannot afford Gillian.
I do care about myself and I am not going to sit idle. I wont rest till she leaves.
gillian20097 caroline36563
Posted
You are not a villain. In fact I think you are a saint for putting up with it for so long,many wouldn't of.
And now,enough is enough. You have done all you can and you don't need to do any more.
Start simply by doing things for just your husband and family..your washing...your cooking ect...
If your husband is then intent on her staying,then let her be his responsibility,totally!!!xx
hypercat caroline36563
Posted
elizabeth20203 hypercat
Posted
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