depressed and lonely

Posted , 8 users are following.

My wife of 20 years died a little  over a year ago I miss very much .My problem is I have ran into and old girlfriend that I dated for almost 3 years we have been going out for almost 3 months I feel very guilty about it like I'm cheating on my wife. To make matters worse I had a stroke 5 years ago and lost use of my left arm and don't walk well any more and don't feel like I'm good enought for any woman any more

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14 Replies

  • Posted

    Hello Harold. I am sure that you miss your wife and it will take a long time to grieve  but you do not need to feel guilty for dating another woman. However I think from what others have shared with me it is rather normal to have all your feelings as part of the grief process. I have a cousin who's 78 he had a massive stroke several years ago. He is now divorced from one of the most evil women that I have ever known. Well he met the kindness lady online they just got married in January. He can't walk or talk. She loves him to pieces and he loves her. Because of his last wife he was estranged from his children. Now his oldest daughter lives with them and helps so much and last week they had a birthday party for one of his sons. You may see yourself one way but the right lady will see you whole! I hope you can allow yourself some happiness that you deserve as you grieve. On this site we care please let us know how you continue to do. Diane

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  • Posted

    Hi Harold. You shouldn't feel any guilt im sure you're wife would want you to be happy. I can't relate directly to your experience but my mum lost my dad 15 years and she's never allowed herself to get close to anybody but it's not made her happy. You also are good enough as this lady is with you for who you are. I hope you find happiness and keep in touch with us....

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  • Posted

    Harold, You are not cheating on your wife. I do not think she would want you to sit at home and miss out on the rest of your life.

    Furthermore , if your old girlfriend is enjoying your company as much as you are hers , I say go for it. The fact you had a stroke should not affect your friendship/relationship.

    Please, go on doing the things that you enjoy and that make you happy.

    Best wishes for loads of happiness !

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  • Posted

    Wonderful news, you wife will be so very happy for you both, and giving her blessing with absolute..JOY...HAPPINESS...BEAMING SMILES...AND SO, SO MUCH LOVE FOR YOU BOTH....

    You both deserve to be happy, make every day a joyful one xx have a wonderful life with each other, smiles, hugs, and love will surround you both xxx for the rest of your amazing lives together...

    GOD BLESS both...your post has made my day....week,...year...xxxxx

    Love, always, incredible futures, and beauty in every day forward....xxxxxxxxx

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  • Posted


    Ask yourself - if your late wife was able to send you a message, would she be a jealous ... woman ... or would she like the fact that you're trying to be happy with someone else (given the situation)? I bet she would be glad that you think about seeing someone.

    We cannot control when we die, all we can try to control is what to do with the remaining time that is given to us.

    Be happy!

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  • Posted

    Hi Harold - I read your post and was thinking your wife would want you to live, that's what you're here for. 

    Then I read further down the page and see you have chosen to do just that. Good on you, and congratulations on your imminent marriage. I hope you both will be very, very happy sharing the sunset of life together.

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