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Im not sure if I should add my age but, i'm one year off my teenage years..
Well it started when i thought I had depression about a month or so ago. I was pretty down most of the time, and I found it hard to concentrate in my lessons. I always was doing something like clenching my teeth, moving my jaw forward in a weird way, clicking my tongue etc. ( I still do find it hard to concentrate in lessons to this day) I pretty much cried in the night because I worried I may have depression. I took a few depression tests and checked the symptoms of it. My score on the test was something like 18/24? Something like that. I had no one to turn to [neutral] .. I couldn't tell my parents either. My friend (that I only told because I thought she may have it too because she self-harms. I have never thought about harming myself, as i am afraid of knives) told me to tell a teacher I trust at school. Problem - I dont trust any...It's super awkward when I have one on one talks with teachers or and adult. Let alone my parents. Every time I felt; 'I'm gonna tell someone today, I really need support and help' I just had a meltdown and changed my mind immedietly..My mind was like 'nope'. I also have a journal which I have started writing in putting in my feelings and that. I couldn't seem to find anyone with the support I needed to comfort me.. to tell me it was okay.
After a few days I just came to a conclusion I wasn't depressed, even though the sadness and being down continued.
Now, around 1 or 2 weeks ago, I searched up anxiety; just being curious what the symptoms were as I saw that if you have depression you may have anxiety too. On the test i scored 16/24 (around that). It mentioned about worrying, not enough sleep (on symptons) etc. I had always worried about everything and It kept me awake at night most of the times. My main worry was homework because I couldn't help doing it at the last minute and rushing to get it done. Or, I loose it and get in trouble and get detention (even though i've never had one yet). I worry about EVERYTHING! This has also led to not concentrating (as i said before) in class or lessons. There was too many thoughts going aout in my head at once. I have had trouble concentrating on reading in class too. Apart from a book I have, i'm quite into it. I also worry about the tinyest things. I am always self concious about being judged about my hair, clothes etc. I feel like I have to fit in with society. I am quite skinny too, and I havent been eating very good lately. Im scared I may get anorexia If i carry on bu i am trying my best. But then again I also worry. What if this, what if that? It was always such negative doubts or thoughts..
Im sorry this article is jumping from topic to topic,
But i Really need help.
Its really affecting me with my daily life in school and out..
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