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I'm posting on here kinda as a last resort I don't know what to do. 6 months ago I had a miscarriage and found out I had herpes at the same time. I miscarried early on (about 8 weeks). Ever since around that time I have been feeling so low. I constantly feel worthless and feel I was given my life as a punishment. I've only just accepted that I think I may have depression as I thought it was just because I was going through a hard time.
Most days I sit in crying to myself or self harming because it relieves the emotional pain. I find it hard to sleep at night and often wake during the night. I sit in my bedroom near enough everyday crying to myself-mind you I don't think it helps that I'm unemployed at the moment. I'm trying so hard to find a job but just don't get anyway which makes me feel even more hopeless. I have tried overdosing on 4 occasions(paracetamol)-although every time I do usually regret it straight after but then have these thoughts again. I can't actually explain how I feel it just feels like I'm getting nowhere in life and I have no one to talk to. I constantly feel run down and exhausted even though I hardly do anything.
I was led in bed about half an hour ago and heard deep voice but couldn't make out what it was saying, I thought I may be my step dad then remembered he was at work-it carried on on and off for about 15 minutes. After that I think it's about time I got myself some help and started changing my routine. It's just I'm rubbish at talking and fear if I went to my GP my mind would go blank, what else can I do or what can I do to ease my fear of going to my GP?
Will be greatful for all replies
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