Depressed but scared to go to the doctor help please

Posted , 6 users are following.

I'm posting on here kinda as a last resort I don't know what to do. 6 months ago I had a miscarriage and found out I had herpes at the same time. I miscarried early on (about 8 weeks). Ever since around that time I have been feeling so low. I constantly feel worthless and feel I was given my life as a punishment. I've only just accepted that I think I may have depression as I thought it was just because I was going through a hard time.

Most days I sit in crying to myself or self harming because it relieves the emotional pain. I find it hard to sleep at night and often wake during the night. I sit in my bedroom near enough everyday crying to myself-mind you I don't think it helps that I'm unemployed at the moment. I'm trying so hard to find a job but just don't get anyway which makes me feel even more hopeless. I have tried overdosing on 4 occasions(paracetamol)-although every time I do usually regret it straight after but then have these thoughts again. I can't actually explain how I feel it just feels like I'm getting nowhere in life and I have no one to talk to. I constantly feel run down and exhausted even though I hardly do anything.

I was led in bed about half an hour ago and heard deep voice but couldn't make out what it was saying, I thought I may be my step dad then remembered he was at work-it carried on on and off for about 15 minutes. After that I think it's about time I got myself some help and started changing my routine. It's just I'm rubbish at talking and fear if I went to my GP my mind would go blank, what else can I do or what can I do to ease my fear of going to my GP?

Will be greatful for all replies

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2 likes, 5 replies

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Dear Danielle,

    When I read your words I do feel for you. You express yourself very movingly. It does seem that the main hurdle to overcome is your hesitation to consult your doctor. 

    My first suggestion would only be useful if you already have a confident. A friend who would accompany you and help you to make your points to the doctor and assist you in answering any questions the doctor may put to you.

    My second suggestion may be more to your taste although less helpful. Make a list of the points you wish to raise. Include names, dates, frequencies , severities and such like details that the pressure of the consultation might drive from your mind. I use such a list myself. It avoids those almost inevitable self recriminations for omissions once the consultation is over,

    I am not permitted under the rules of the forum to recommend web sites. That may be done by private message. I shall send you one now and hope that you may read it.

    i hope you may find on this forum many friends who will comfort and support you with kind and wise words mined from their own experiences. i trust that I shall be one of them.

    George

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  • Posted

    I am so sorry to hear you suffered a loss, i have had two misscarriages (6 and 13 weeks) my daughter also died during labour at 34 weeks, its hard dealing with loss.

    your GP has seen depression 10000's of time he/she will know how to help you, you NEED to tell them everything......trying to commit suicide and your self harming, they will help i promise! if you cant speak to him write him a letter with how you are feeling and hand it to him when you have an appointment or ask a receptionist to give it to him before you see him.

    i hope you feel better soon, thinking of you,

    Kate.

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  • Posted

    Hey Danielle, I'm really sorry to hear about your troubles sad 

    I'm in the same boat as you in regards to realising I need to go see my GP but being absolutely terrified!! All I can say is definitely write everything that you are feeling down, even if it is just to get everything completely straight in your own head before discussing it with your GP - if you want, you can then take what you have written with you as a prompt or to show your GP. Try some relaxation therapy techniques so that when you are waiting to see your GP you can control your nerves and keep calm.

    If you wanted to though, you could literally say "I feel very depressed following my miscarriage and illness and I need help" and let the doctor take it from there. They will know exactly how to deal with the situation and get you the help that you deserve smile 

    xx

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  • Posted

    Hey danielle

    Sorry your feeling so low, i had an sti a few years ago,i was mainly embaressed,try not to worry it will go away.

    Ive havent had a miscarrage but i have been trying for a babywith my husband for about 6years,should have gone to drs ages ago but to scared they will say i cant have children,atleast this way i have a little hope.

    I understand that your mind goes blank when at drs, always come out then remember what i should have said...

    I think that you read out to him exactly what you wrote on here,its totally honest and how you feel....

    Stacey x

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  • Posted

    Dear Danielle,

    Hello. First of all, I will try to make this as brief as possible. I live near Boston, Mass., USA. I just happened to come across this website when looking up a medical website here in the states. I am glad I did. I would like to first tell you how very, very sorry I am about the miscarriage you had. How very sad. I have never had one but it must be very painful. However.....if I may, I would just like to tell you this short story. One night, years ago, I was warching television and a show I love....."Highway To Heaven" with Michael Landon. I loved that show. So inspiring about people and their problems and how he played an Angel sent by God to help them. One day, he had become very friendly with a sweet, kind young couple. They were having a baby and then lost it. They buried the child and afterwards, they did not feel they could go on. They were so heartbroken, naturally. Now, usually, the Angel, Michael Landon was not allowed by God to tell people "why" someone had passed on.....no matter what. However, since the couple was SO devastated and were friends' of Michael's, God ended up telling him he COULD let them know. It turned out that, had their chld lived, much later on down the road, while in his 20's or so, the child would have developed a very, very serious disease and would have suffered for many years and they would have suffered watching him. That is why God took their baby now. So that he would NOT have to go through all those years, later on of untold suffering. He would take him back Home again to be the angel that he was. Now, although the parents were naturally devastated now, Michael had certainly helped them by explaining "why" God had taken him so early and certainly, his parent's, if those were the only 2 choices, would prefer the 1st so that their son would not have to suffer so very much later on. To me, it truly made sense and I never forgot that story. Your child is now back Home and I am sure doing much better than all of us down here. Someday, you will see her once again, Danielle. However, she would not want you to see her too soon. She would prefer that being young, you continue with your life, enjoy it as much as possible and be happy and healthy. That is what she would want for you! I also hope for that also for you. Go and see a psychiatrist(who can also give you an anti-depressant if you need it along with talking about your situation and sadness). A psychologist cannot give out prescriptions of any kind. Now.....as far as the "herpes" diagnosis," we ALL run the risk of that as if we had "chicken pocks" when we were children, then we already have the herpes virus inside of us. Sometimes, it may come out on someone's lip(s) as a "cold sore." Same type of thing. They do have medication for it. However.......many, many years ago, my own gynecologist diagnosed me with the same thing! I nearly fell off the table! See, because i was not even having any sex! I kept telling him that as I sat there, suffering like heck with the horrendous pain, but he did not believe me! I was devastated. So, for about 5 years or so, I suffered with that. It was awful. Here is the kicker. I ended up going to see a "Dermatologist" just for the heck of it finally. I said, "why not?!" They deal with skin diseases! I went and was thoroughly examined when I was aving a "break out." The end result? I did NOT and NEVER did have "herpes!!" It turned out to be a type of allergy thing/yeast thing, whatever. She gave me some medication to use and after timee, I NEVER had it ever again!! Boy, was I ANGRY! I went to the gynecologist's office and gave them HELL and even had the nurse go across the hall to speak to the doctor! She could not believe that her boss had been "wrong!" HE WAS!!! I should have SUED but I did not. So........go to see a Dermatologist, also. It won't hurt to go and go when you are having a breakout. I truly hope that things work out for you, Danielle. I know they will after time. Time will help you some. Just always remember that your darling baby WANTS you to be HAPPY, Danielle......ok?! You did nothing wrong. For whatever reason, God needed another sweet Angel. Remember......she will always be with you and near you, in spirit. I do blieve that wholeheartedly. God Bless you, Danielle. Please, just value your life as it is truly a gift and many, many of us have had to go through many rough times in our lives....maybe not the same, but sometimes things that you think will take you down. Why don't you contribute something say to St. Jude's Children's Hospital for those babies in your daughter's memory? That would be so niice. You could even ask some good friends, family to donate to the children. Your daughter would be so thrilled! Take good care, Danielle. I will be praying for you. We all love you here! Write back here and let us know how you are doing, would you please? Thank you.        Rascal

     

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