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Depressed for 2 years and now i going to be dismissed from Work

Posted , 4 users are following.

malckapinkboot
malckapinkboot

Hi my story is long so I'll try keep it short. For 2 solid years now I've been trying to get treated for depression and anxiety and I've just not been able to get better even with different medication. I feel like I'm living in someone else's hell and someone else body and mind. I've been keeping it all in. Only time I feel ok is if im Going through a faze of gambling or spending money. Which is having a massive effect on my financial situation. 20 grand worth. Anyway I've been in my job 5 happy years. And whilst in the dark cloud that I live... I've stolen money from them about 500 in total. Who the hell am I? Any would I do this. I'm so confused. I don't even no why I done it. And it's now cost me my job my life is in shreds. I'm booked in to see the doctor tomorrow who has an interest in mental health.  I'm going to tell him everything. I so embaresed 

1 like, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane malckapinkboot

    Posted

    Hello. You have done a brave thing writing us and making an appointment with a doctor to tell the truth. 

    Diane

  • wayne1962
    wayne1962 malckapinkboot

    Posted

    Hi Malckapinkboot - go easy on yourself. You have done the proper thing seeing the doc. Spill it all. I would suggest that risk-taking behaviour might be a manifestation of depression. Take it one step at a time - your illness comes first. We have all done things we are not proud of, but those events are not the sum of us. Keep your chin up, think about all the positives you have created in your life and in the lives around you, and remember you are not alone. We are always here to talk.
  • sam18386
    sam18386 malckapinkboot

    Posted

    I admire people like you, you are a very brave person to admit publicly that you have done this thing.  It's not you.  You must have been in a dark place to do this and had your reasons at the time.  I think I would tell your doctor everything you can, I don't know what he can do re your job but may be able to in a new year put you in a better headspace to cope.  What job did you do?  Did they say why they sacked you?  They must have had their reasons and maybe they didn't really understand you and only pay lip service to you.  Just see your doctor 1 step at a time.  Hopefully what you've done will make your doctor finally see how ill you are.  Good luck.

    • malckapinkboot
      malckapinkboot sam18386

      Posted

      Should I go to doctors on my own or should I get my sister to come in with me I don't no which one would be better xxx

  • Adldiane
    Adldiane malckapinkboot

    Posted

    Do what will make you the most comfortable. But if her being there will keep you from being brutally honest I would go alone. God bless and good luck. Keep us posted. Diane. 
  • malckapinkboot
    malckapinkboot

    Posted

    I have an update so it turns out that it was more than 500 it's was nearly 1500. What was a doing! I've been to doctor and been referred to the mental health team but they won't call me untill the 20th of this month. I am awear my company have told the police but I've not heard anything back yet... also I have some debt with my company as they paid some debt that I had off to lower the interest rate.. this makes me feel sick that I'm such a horrible person for sh*tting on them. What can I do i just need some advice. I'm in over 20 grand of debt and now lost my job how can I pay them back... What can they do to retrieve the money back sad no one hates me more than myself right now x x x

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