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I am 32 yrs, a civil contractor.For the past 3 years I have been facing financial problem, lost my Dad(died), could not help him in his last days as I could not afford, which still haunts me. Have been to a divorce and have child how is 5 yrs. Who I am taking care . Now in a relationship with a girl who abuses me with my past relationships always if I do something wrong, curses my family even my son. There is no sense of pushing me where I can feel safe always cursing, yelling at me always says her 1'st bf was better and I am a jerk .The banks keeping knocking at my door as I have not paid the emi's and for mortgage I have kept my family,s house because of which have a bad relationship with my brother f . I want to die,yet I always think things will be better with time and hard work. Yet everyday is the same. Every work I do my payment's are either stuck or delayed . I can't cope up anyore . Help any advice please help.
2 likes, 8 replies
Guest ngja007
Posted
You've been through a lot of bad times recently NGJA. My sympathies on your difficult stretch and sorry about your Dad.
I don't know all the facts so my advice needs to be taken on the basis of that. But, you should start by 'losing' that girlfriend. With all you've been through you need someone in your life who makes you feel better, not worse. There are LOTS of good women out there, why hang onto one who adds to your loads? You shouldn't.
Do you have access to medical treatment, and more specifically someone who can prescribe medication that might help you over the 'hump'? Medication is no panacea and you should not rely on it long term if you don't need to, but it can help 'lighten' the load a little bit when you're going through a tough path. There are lots of good SSRI drugs out there that can help you if that is the source of your depression.
Unfortunately financial problems are quite common and they can really drag you down. At least in the United States where I live the economy is recovering somewhat and people have a little more money to spend nowadays. I hope it's the same where you live. Hopefully the banks will take notice that you're a good man and will be good for your debts long term, if they can give you some extra time now. Your character comes across as real strong.
If it's any help I have been through similar tough patches in my life and I made it OK. I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 38 and I am 63 now. Medication helped me through some of the toughest times, but mostly it was just Faith that however bad things got-and they got plenty bad on a few occasions-I would make it through. I also had the benefit of a good wife-trust me, we had our ups and downs over the years! But when either of us really needed support the other one was there. That helps a great deal and why I implore you to find someone who makes you feel like a winner. Good luck!
wayne1962 ngja007
Posted
Hi ngja007 - get rid of that girl. What right has she got to abuse you like that? None. Did you read that? NONE! Whats' more, there is child involved and witnessing that sort of behaviour is a bad start for a child. The foundations of the adult are set in the first 5-7 years of the child. As for your Dad - well, there are so many things in life we would change if we could go back - the fact here is that you cannot change that one. And do you really think your Dad is sitting there cursing you for it. Hell no. He understands more thoroughly than we can stuck here in the limitation of this life in this realm. Forgive yourself and don't look back. As for the money aspect - you say you have kept the family house which has created bad blood with your brother. Why not sell the thing? Because that's all it is - a thing. Financial situations can be solved and hopefully a new bonding with your brother. It's all up to you, and there are hard decisions to be made. Just start with the easiest. Get rid of the negative influence first, then deal with the money. Good luck whatever you decide. And how precious is a child?
jay_babes ngja007
Posted
honestavocado9 ngja007
Posted
Hi. I'm so sorry to hear about your father, losing a parent is never easy and it's soul destroying. His passing is not your fault. Death is natural and inevitable, you need to find the right tools to cope. Whether it be therapy, lifestyle change - anything that works for you. But you must face it.
Right now, you need to surround yourself with what makes you happy. This girlfriend doesn't sound like someone who makes you happy. Being alone might be scary but being with someone who makes you feel alone is even worse. It's time to let her go. She sounds abusive and unkind. And anyone who uses your child as an attack needs to be let go. Keeping her will only hurt you more.
You need to focus on your son, your career and getting things in place. Try the Law of Attraction - you may think it's silly but used correctly it can do wonders.
You can seek financial advice from Citizens Advice but really hard work and a new mindset will help. If depression is an issue, it may be time to see your GP. But please do not lose hope. This too shall pass.
sam18386 ngja007
Posted
julie_89566 ngja007
Posted
laurence66000 ngja007
Posted
sam18386 laurence66000
Posted
Hi Laurence, I would ask your chemist if I was you because they'll know you the medication you already take and may be easier to speak to than your doctor. Good luck.
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