Depressed for more than3 years

Posted , 6 users are following.

I am 32 yrs, a civil contractor.For the past 3 years I have been facing financial problem, lost my Dad(died), could not help him in his last days as I could not afford, which still haunts me. Have been to a divorce and have child how is 5 yrs. Who I am taking care . Now in a relationship with a girl who abuses me with my past relationships always if I do something wrong, curses my family even my son. There is no sense of pushing me where I can feel safe always cursing, yelling at me always says her 1'st bf was better and I am a jerk .The banks keeping knocking at my door as I have not paid the emi's and for mortgage I have kept my family,s house because of which have a bad relationship with my brother f . I want to die,yet I always think things will be better with time and hard work. Yet everyday is the same. Every work I do my payment's are either stuck or delayed . I can't cope up anyore . Help any advice please help.

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  • Posted

    You've been through a lot of bad times recently NGJA. My sympathies on your difficult stretch and sorry about your Dad.

    I don't know all the facts so my advice needs to be taken on the basis of that. But, you should start by  'losing' that girlfriend. With all you've been through you need someone in your life who makes you feel better, not worse. There are LOTS of good women out there, why hang onto one who adds to your loads? You shouldn't.

    Do you have access to medical treatment, and more specifically someone who can prescribe medication that might help you over the 'hump'? Medication is no panacea and you should not rely on it long term if you don't need to, but it can help 'lighten' the load a little bit when you're going through a tough path. There are lots of good SSRI drugs out there that can help you if that is the source of your depression.

    Unfortunately financial problems are quite common and they can really drag you down. At least in the United States where I live the economy is recovering somewhat and people have a little more money to spend nowadays. I hope it's the same where you live. Hopefully the banks will take notice that you're a good man and will be good for your debts long term, if they can give you some extra time now. Your character comes across as real strong.

    If it's any help I have been through similar tough patches in my life and I made it OK. I was diagnosed with clinical depression when I was 38 and I am 63 now. Medication helped me through some of the toughest times, but mostly it was just Faith that however bad things got-and they got plenty bad on a few occasions-I would make it through. I also had the benefit of a good wife-trust me, we had our ups and downs over the years! But when either of us really needed support the other one was there. That helps a great deal and why I implore you to find someone who makes you feel like a winner. Good luck!

     

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  • Posted

    Hi ngja007 - get rid of that girl. What right has she got to abuse you like that? None. Did you read that? NONE! Whats' more, there is child involved and witnessing that sort of behaviour is a bad start for a child. The foundations of the adult are set in the first 5-7 years of the child. As for your Dad - well, there are so many things in life we would change if we could go back - the fact here is that you cannot change that one. And do you really think your Dad is sitting there cursing you for it. Hell no. He understands more thoroughly than we can stuck here in the limitation of this life in this realm. Forgive yourself and don't look back. As for the money aspect - you say you have kept the family house which has created bad blood with your brother. Why not sell the thing? Because that's all it is - a thing. Financial situations can be solved and hopefully a new bonding with your brother. It's all up to you, and there are hard decisions to be made. Just start with the easiest. Get rid of the negative influence first, then deal with the money. Good luck whatever you decide. And how precious is a child?

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  • Posted

    Hi the first thing i am going to say to you is your worth every bit of being here, and you had a dad that loved you , money is nothing love is, and a 5yrs, who i bet adores you, i am sorry to say but you have one thing in your life that you do not need a that is negative people and negative thoughts, and im not sure if i am allowed to say this but your with a person who you should not be with one who abuses you , you said and your son well i am sure if you said this to any one that has a son , they would tell you to run for the hills, as for money , yes its important but its not the be end of life, first you need to get a journal , or diary, put your thoughts down ,getting it out is half the battle, then obviously  you need to sort your own finances out,, you seem you are strong because you said in time things will get better with hard work and time, and you know what they will but you have to change them , sitting around doing the same thing wont change ,believe me i know, but please do not think i am being hard , i am not totally the opposite, if you write down like a bucket list except the opposite your not going to die, the things you want to do to live, example, top of list, no 1 sort relationship out , will make me happy,no 2 sort finances out, go to bank, or see a financial adviser , and so, keeping it all in your just makes it confusing and hard work, writing it out makes it clearer, and i bet when you do one thing at a time you will feel a whole lot better, i will not say its easy but i will say it will get a lot easier, and work , you can and that is a bonus, and sort your money out better with help, and you will look at life a whole lot different , money you do not need to take just you and your son over the park and give him a big hug and kiss and tell him you love him, that costs nothing, maybe 2 ice creamscheesygrin
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  • Posted

    Hi. I'm so sorry to hear about your father, losing a parent is never easy and it's soul destroying. His passing is not your fault. Death is natural and inevitable, you need to find the right tools to cope. Whether it be therapy, lifestyle change - anything that works for you. But you must face it.

    Right now, you need to surround yourself with what makes you happy. This girlfriend doesn't sound like someone who makes you happy. Being alone might be scary but being with someone who makes you feel alone is even worse. It's time to let her go. She sounds abusive and unkind. And anyone who uses your child as an attack needs to be let go. Keeping her will only hurt you more.

    You need to focus on your son, your career and getting things in place. Try the Law of Attraction - you may think it's silly but used correctly it can do wonders.

    You can seek financial advice from Citizens Advice but really hard work and a new mindset will help. If depression is an issue, it may be time to see your GP. But please do not lose hope. This too shall pass.

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  • Posted

    Hi ngja, a death of a parent is one of the highest stress causes. I to honestly know because my dad died at 66 , 6+years ago. I still have some days when his death is incredibly tough. I was so close to him, not having here is heartbreaking. Coping with all the things you have on top is crushing I should imagine. You have to find the correct person to talk to. I have had something else mind-numbingly painful to contend with that was quashed for over 20 years it has taken the correct therapist to get me to speak. My health has really suffered as a result and now I take medication every day. Find the correct person to speak to, your faith in humanity may be restored.
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  • Posted

    Please seriously end things with your girlfriend, she sounds horrible.  You are going through a rough time and really need to regain your strength especially after a loss.  I  know personally how losing a parent, especially one that I felt I wasn’t able to help can bore a hole through you.  Financial issue suck so bad, we all have been there and we recover and sometimes fall back into tough times again.  Just so the best you can and seek out help if necessary.  We are rooting for you!!! 
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  • Posted

    Being taken steraline for the past six months, have no sex drive, can anyone tell me how I can, of if I can reverse this? or if I can take vigara with this medication. Many Thanks  
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