Depressed in college
Posted , 3 users are following.
I've had a tough time at school recently and I barley do anything anymore. I go away to college five hours from home and I am now in my last year of school. Last spring I lost my only friend group. I was really close to them but they made me feel like an outsider as time went on. They were my roommates and we ended it on bad terms. I moved into different housing but it's still hard to see them around. I guess it's hard because they hurt me and even though they moved on I haven't. Now I am getting ready to graduate in the spring, but I have a lot of hard classes this semester. It's stresses me a lot and I am constantly studying to keep up. I live in a sorority house but I haven't made any friends. I only leave my room when I have class or work. I even eat in my room because I don't talk to anyone and I have so much anxiety to eat there. I try to keep up with all my class work but that's basically all I do. I don't hang out or even talk to others really. I avoid walking around campus because I am scared to see my old friends and know that they will talk to me. I won't even go to the gym because one of them work there and I would have to see them every day. I know it's illogical and weak to let them have such an effect on my life but avoiding them makes me feel better. They are in my class on Thursday and I dread that class because of it. I am sad all the time and I feel very lonely. Every time I talk to my parents about it I feel their disappointment in me. I can't even imagine trying to open up to a doctor or counselor about it. I am trying just to focus on studying and finishing my degree but time just passes so slowly. I am not sure if I have trouble sleeping because I do not sleep a lot anyways because I have tests in my classes weekly. I don't want to take medication that could affect my focus on my school work or weight. I don't know what to do I am not suicidal as I am too scared of dying to do anything like that. I just want this year to pass by so bad and I can't transfer schools because I am graduating in the spring. I just feel like everyday gets worse instead of better. I don't know what to do anymore everything is so hard.
2 likes, 5 replies
SeriousMax kristin_71728
Posted
It sounds like you're having a hard time. I'm here if you want to talk I can’t really understand what you are feeling, but I can offer my compassion.I understand that you are anxious because you cant control this situation but maybe you could try to focus your energy on what you can control.
its ok to feel this way It will pass just keep breathing. Just don't give up
kristin_71728 SeriousMax
Posted
Thank you I really appreciate that, I just don't know what's happened to me. I use to be such a happy brave person now I can barley talk to people.
SeriousMax kristin_71728
Posted
you are more than welcome to PM me whenever you feel like it. if you ever feel like your having a anxiety attack I would encourage you to breathe as slowly and deeply as possible. and count backwards slowly from 100.
wayne1962 kristin_71728
Posted
Hi Kristin - i'm so sorry to read what you are going through, i suffered a similar scenario where my group rejected me for some undisclosed reason (excuse?) and it shook me to the core. The thing you need most now is support and somewhere to unburden yourself. It will require you to be vulnerable in the interim, so I would urge you to reconsider approaching a counselor. You are busy studying for your degree, and that must continue so you can attain that goal and start a whole new life, but you also need the occasional relief from that concentration. Is there some group or project you could involve yourself with? Something you love to do. It might be awkward at first because you have endured a cruel and affecting rejection, but it will get easier - and who knows what new friends you might discover? Meanwhile, keep your head up and be kind to yourself.
kristin_71728 wayne1962
Posted
Thank you so much I really appreciate it, I am trying but sometimes all I think about is how much I messed up. There is a counseling center at my school but I don't know if it's for something like this.