Depressed Partner Need Advice

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My boyfriend has always had bouts of depression, when he does he leaves the house and moves out back to his parents but this usually only lasts for a few days and comes back to normal. This time he moved out and left 5 weeks ago now and told me he needs to get seriously better because he's lost himself, he sees a counsellor once a week and he started taking tablets a couple of weeks ago. I've seen him twice in 5 weeks so I've had to cope being on my own in the house. I text him everyday wanting to help and try to understand it more so he doesn't have to leave to go to his parents each time, most days he will just go mad at me which makes me angry and we have an argument. He asks me to leave him alone and give him space but I just find it so hard and only text to see if he's doing ok. He now doesn't know whether he wants to be with me anymore all because I've cared and text him when he's asked me to give him space. Does anyone know what I can do? Shall I give him the space like he's asked? Do you think it's the depression talking? How can I help him? I have suffered with depression myself but only mild so I can't understand the severe side of it that he's feeling and I'm feeling very confused. All I want to do is help :-(.

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7 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi, severe depression is a serious illness. Your boy friend is not at ease with people and want to be left alone to find ways to get better. It has nothing to do with you. Just wait because they are not comfortable with just anybody. Let him get better and he will come back to you sooner or latter.
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  • Posted

    My partner left me 10 day ago saying he's depressed . He got nasty and said he doesn't love me no more 20 years down the drain.

    He's text his daughter once. I phoned him all he say he want people to leave him alone.

    That what I'm going do if he loves me he'll come back I've told him my doors always opens to him.

    I miss him I'm lonely but I have to allow him to get well.

    Now I'm depressed

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    • Posted

      Oh no that must be so hard, especially after 20 years plus you have children together. Mine is 5 years and it's bad enough plus no children together. It's very difficult to leave them alone when you feel like it's because they don't love you not the depression. But I'm starting to feel the same as you, depressed and anxious 😢.x

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    • Posted

      Sometime when they're depressed they hate themselves and have very low self esteem and reflect there anger and frustrations on us unfortunately. I still believe my partner does love me but I won't wait 4 ever unfortunately he won't seek medical help. And I can't go through this pain and torment again. I feel for my daughter the most.

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  • Posted

    Hi Ashleigh - sorry to read of your situation. Yes, give him space. Stop texting him. Leave him be and he will contact you when he is ready. Yes, the depression is talking. Inside he feels a complete mess and may despair that anyone will be able to help him.  He is seeing a counsellor once a week and you say that he has always had problems with bouts of depression. Medications can take 3-8 weeks to fully realise their potential. Unfortunately there is no cut and dried one-size-fits-all remedy for depression. It may be that he will need alterations to meds and/or dosages to find the right formula for the unique person he is. All you can  do is respect his wishes and give him the time and space he desires. He will contact you when he is ready to. That is the best help you can give him. Your depression may be resultant from the fear you feel at losing this dynamic of your relationship. Seek counselling if it gets worse. Best of luck.
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