Depressing Month

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My mom passed away October 21, last year. Her birthday was on the 4th. I thought I was handling this pretty well, but I've been very depressed all day today. I thought that going to therapy would help me get through this month, but I kept putting it off, because talking to someone on the phone gives me anxiety. I'm not sure what to do or how bad this is going to get for me.

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8 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Connie, I am going through the exact same thing. I buried my dad in January, my last family member.  On top of that, every other aspect of my life feel apart independent of my dad's death, as well.

    If you can try and do left brain activities like puzzles or games or whatever you like it can help a lot. The games will force you to focus on something else logical and not drift into your right/emotional side of your brain.

    I also am now running at least an hour a day and try and eat healthy. Although I have been slacking on the healthy eating this month.

    Only talk to a select few and very few people. Because most people will not understand why you are still depressed, they will think you should be well past grief now, baloney.

    Come and talk here and maybe see a therapist in person

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    • Posted

      Thank you. I like your suggestion to do things that will get me to focus on other things. I was planning to stay home from work on the anniversary of my mom passing, but it really might be better if I work to keep my mind focused.
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  • Posted

    HI Connie

    My parents both died many years ago and just recently I have been feeling very lonely without them! I do not know why this is but it is very depressing! I do see a therapist which is helping, plus I am on medication for anxiety and depression also! Some days I feel like there is no one in this world but me! 

     

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    • Posted

      I'm sorry that you've lost both of your parents. It hurts when you lose one, but when you lose both of them, you really feel alone. I was grieving for my dad and then I lost my mom a year later. It 's really too much. I was doing well with my depression even after I stopped medication a few years ago, but now dealing with my mom's passing, I'm not able to fight it as well.

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  • Posted

    Hi Connie...so sorry for your loss. I think sometimes we just have to walk thru our feelings of sorrow when it presents itself. I personally have talked with my loved one and it comforts me. I cry, I remember the good things and the bad. No one is perfect so there are happy and sad memories. It does get easier in time. The blackness becomes shades of gray over time. Be kind to yourself and don't expect to just get over it in the blink of an eye. It doesn't work that way. Confide in a friend or pastor. Be patient with yourself it talks time, I know I have been there literally!

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  • Posted

    Connie, it is truly heatbreaking to lose a loved one. My sister died at the age of 42 from a massive heart attack. We are coming up on the 10th anniversary of her death. I grieved fiercely for a year. I went to grief counseling and it did help. The second year was not as fierce. I agree with Deb's comment that you have to let yourself grieve and however you grieve is different from all others. You will noticethat you will be okay for awhile and dive into that hole of grief. As time goes by your heart will heal. Your depression won't come as often and it won't be as long. There are seven steps of grief. Google them but remember everyone is not the same. Go to couseling. If you belong to a church, talk to your pastor as deb suggested. I promise you will get stronger. Journaling is very helpful. Hugs xoxo

     

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    • Posted

      Thank you Sasha. Counseling is a great idea and I even found someone close by. But I'm still struggling to call her. I might have to get my husband to make the appointment for me, because I know that seeing a therapist will help me.

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