Depression?

Posted , 3 users are following.

You know now I think about it, I haven't had the best time. Everything was good when I was little. But I still worried, when I heard my parents were struggling to pay the rent. Then I used to worry about them not being here no more. Then I used to worry about my mum being late thinking something happened to her. That was all when I was like 10 or younger. My mum got ill, I was young I didn't understand. I knew she had cancer but I didn't know she was gonna die from it. Years went and she did get weaker and I carried on worrying. Then the day came when my world started to fall apart. I was 12 and mum was rushed to hospital after a funny turn and 2 weeks after she had passed away. My life was a blur, i cried every night hugging my mums pillow smelling her smell. Funeral went with a blur and from then life was just one massive void. I can't really remember much off the last 9 years. Carried on worrying about my dad. He carried on and still does drinking. I had a little boy at 18 and then a little girl at 21 and it's been very hard. I feel alone, like I'm living life because I have to. Like I have no purpose. I do the same thing everyday looking after the kids. I have no get up and go, don't go anywhere really. I feel down constantly have done for a few years. I think everyday that I'm wasting my days doing nothing. I can't see myself being happy. I haven't felt truly happy in a long time and i won't be able to feel carefree for a while as my kids are still small (2yrs and 6ms) I feel anxious. I have panic attacks. I have anxious thoughts, I just feel like I'm dying and it's only a matter of time. I haven't been to the doctors about this. I know I should but I'm worried about the effects of antidepressants. I'm only 21 and I feel so crap sad 

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Sarah sound like u have had a real tough time of it :-( u should go to the docs u don't have to take medication u can ask for help like councling or cbt there is so much help out there u just need to make the steps to get it.. U have to think your mum would of wanted u to be happy I know it's not that easy and will only happen when u are ready. Xx
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  • Posted

    I agree with domdomz go to the doctor and do what is best for you and listen to their advice, they will have dealt with lots of people in the same boat as you. Sadly depression has increased by 450% in the last 2 years alone, which is a vast increase. The doc will help you and will understand the lifestyle challenge you have with 2 young children.

    Can you talk to your partner too ?

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  • Posted

    Thank you both for your replies. I will need to go to see the doctor. Sometimes I wonder if my depression is that bad to see a doctor but then I shouldn't wait until is so bad. My partner doesn't understand how I'm feeling and he doesn't help me with the children. He hasn't seemed to grow up as quickly as I have. 
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    • Posted

      My ex took great joy in not helping or being there to talk to. I understand your frustration, that said some people can handle it and be helpful and some just cant "get it" and do the just snap out of it technique. That drive me mad, but the is nothing you can do.

      Some one needs to gentle remind him hes a dad...... and some help wouldnt go a miss as your now a family unit. Your GP sounds to be the best bet, and press them for counselling too as you need to talk to someone about how you feel. Med only help with the symptoms they dont fix the problem, that gets fixed by you and you need to speak to someone to sort that.

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  • Posted

    Hi Sarah

    Antidepressants cant be the permanent solution but it can provide you the initial boost to work on your issues.Sometimes depression creates so much amotivation and hopelessness and person is unable to act in a meaningful.Most antidepressant medicines are safe.CBT or any other therapy will also be helpful.You can also start some self help with Mindfullness.

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