depression

Posted , 7 users are following.

hi i have had depression for a long time now i have got boarder line persnality disorder and most days i just want to end my life as i have nothink to live for or i just wish i just get and go some where that people dont know where i have gone to is there any one with this illness and do you fill the same

 

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12 Replies

  • Posted

    hi alison im sure many people have had your feelings ! dont you have someone who would miss you its hard to deal with thoughts of ending it all please seek help before it gets to bad have you seen your doctor about how you feel ! thanks for seeking help here and wish you well keep in touch and let us know how.your getting on take care david
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  • Posted

    Alison, are you on any type of medication? I suffer from bouts of depression and I am on 10 mg of Citalopram. There are times that I want to end it all, but, then I think of what I would be missing and I do feel a little better.
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    • Posted

      susan your reply was really good ! i have been on citalopram 20mgs in the past but im on venlafaxine ,quetiapine,amitriplene and ramparil ! even with these meds i can still have morbid thoughts.i get
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    • Posted

      hi yes i am on 40 mg of citalopram none of my family understands depression at all so they have not got a clue what i am going through my husband keeps telling me to snap out of it you just cant so he dont under stand i have no one to go to i do see my own doctor

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    • Posted

      I'll try again, I know where your coming from I haven't officially been diagnosed with bpd but it has been noted and awaiting further assessment my cpn is working with me to try and control the suicidal urges trouble is
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    • Posted

      hi alison sorry to hear you are not getting the help you need from your husband have you tried getting him to go to the doctors with you or ask.your doctor for some information to give to your husband maybe.that will help take care david
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  • Posted

    HelloAlison,

    Why not show your husband this website and get him to read some of the different discussions maybe he will have a different perspective after he reads some and realise that it is an illness you have and maybe he will start to understand you and try help you as best he can.

    All the best

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  • Posted

    Hi Alison, sorry I wasn't being rude I had connection problems as I was out sitting on rocks waiting for the tide to come in as again I'd lost the plot. Anyway I know where you're coming from I have great difficulty controlling the suicidal intentions. I am waiting for further assessment for the powers to be to decide what other help they can give me. Have you been referred to the mental health team for help or is it just meds you've been given. I expect your husband could be frightened to see his wife going down this road so the only way he can cope is to tell you to pull yourself together. Which I know doesn't help it can make matters worse. The suggestion of getting him to read some of these posts is a good idea it might help him to try and understand. At least you have his support. I can't really give you any other advice as I'm still struggling myself. I have support from my cpn at least. You take care.
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  • Posted

    Hi, Alison:  Bless your heart...I don't want you to think you are alone in the world with your depression.  I have suffered off and on with it my entire life.  I suggest you find a doctor that will understand your feelings, like I did.  My whole family would just tell me to snap out of it, and it made me feel horible...No one knows what hell you are in unless they walk in your shoes.  The good side of it is, with the right meds, and maybe a good support group, you will get better in time.  Give your meds time to work, and try to relax and realize this is just temporary, and you will have many good days, which will make it easier to face the bad ones....Hope this helps, sweetie....
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  • Posted

    Hello Alison, life can throw curved balls at us, however if we try we can throw round ones back. Suicide lasts forever, your problem or problems don't they can fade away. Suicide works. It is a perminant way to stop feeling bad, but it also stops you from feeling good, being proud of someone, feeling happy and laughing at funny jokes and most of all it stops you from loving you.

    Time works too you know, it can cure bad thoughts and feelings. It works in a different way. I stops the pain you are suffering but more slowly, but it doesn't stop you feeling the other good things all through the rest of your life.

    Suicide kills all feelings, good, bad, forever.

    Time kills bad feelings but it also lets you keep the good ones forever.

    For a start you are doing all the right things, well done. Talking about the dark side of your thoughts and feelings and how hopeless things seem to be at the moment. Keep talking, talk to friends, a partner and try to get them on your side. Just keep talking.

    You mention that your family does not understand depression and anxiety, well I think they would if you were not around, so have family meetings. Get some leaflets from your GP surgery or go to the local library and find some easy reading about the reasons for suicidal thoughts.

    To help you stop thinking of suicide and feelings of dread, go out for a long walk in the park and look at the nature. Ducks taking their ducklings out for their first outing on the pond, listen to the sounds around you, look at buildings and the architecture you have in your town. Count the trees in the park and the buses and trucks so that the negative feelings stop going around your head.

    Eat. Forget the deit and raid the fridge. Eat different things and try to taste the flavours. Food nis good because it gives you the energy  to recover. Never drink or get drunk it only compounds your problems and they are still there when you sober up.

    Do lots of things that you have not done or have wanted to but just did not have the time. Look at life from a different angle. Look at it from outside of the box. Instead of focusing on whats gone wrong and how bad you feel, move your mind to different things. Make a list of positive things in your past, in the here and now and good things you could look forwards to doing in the future. Include the friends that you have and how you have helped them and vise versa. Things you have learned to do well such as swimming or learning to speak another language.

    If you are so, so low and think that you are on the edge if you cannot get help, ask someone else to contact A&E or other organisations that help people that are on the precipice of life verses death.

    Lastly force yourself to do things just this once! Doing something is very important, it fills time and helps create good feelings. Get up have a lovely warm shower and feel the soap running off your skin and flushing away those feelings of dispare. Get dressed up and put some makeup on, so you feel that you are a top model. All these things are to make you fake the way you feel. You can still feel like the world has crashed around you however it is you and only you that can change one very small part of how you feel or think about something. Once you have done that small change other small changes will pop into place and your self-worth and self-esteem will increase. Good luck best regards Peter.

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