Depression

Posted , 3 users are following.

Hi to make a v long story short I suffered woth depression around 6 years ago when I had a massive change to my life happen it took me over two years to get better with out medication from drs although they prescribed them I would not take with fear Id become addicted and kill myself, I don't bad things in my depression like turn to another man for support as my partner did not know how to help me and spent most of his hours at work then in the pub, this affair went on for around 5 months the man knew my whole situation and decided to blackmail me when I decided to end things but I was that depressed I couldn't care less and ended it and took the chance never heard from him again, I started to feel better two years later then a close family member killed them selves and through us all off , I was ovbiosley sad by this but had to support my mum more , then a year later my pet dies and I was mortified it put me right back into depression the only thing that kept me alive was the fact I was pregnant , I have spent the last 3 years plodding on and mostly happy with my child and me and my partner have managed to stay together ??he dosnt know anything but did ask once if I had cheated , we are kind of stable and happy but I feel so depressed again like something is brewing up I don't know if depression can do this or it's just guilt I don't like my self I feel every one would be better with out me I don't want ppl feeling sorry for me because I feel I have created my life's mess I just sometimes wish I didn't have to carry on living , but then I think of the child that needs me and the mum and close family who ?love me, I feel I constantley want ppl with me I moan when my partner is not in and I constantley txt him I don't know why insted of going out and having fun somedays I do go out but other ?Days I just ??carnt like today, worth mentioning - the other day I was out and I seen someone I knew along time ago she looked at me and warned me off, this person had ties with the man involved at the beginning (the affair) ?he always said he was single then I found out he wernt and called it all off but that woman wernt the gf it was a different girl who I didn't know , seems he has had two gfs then me for her to know anythink he's been saying stuff about me this was 7 years ago so why is it coming out now,? I feel im going to tip over the edge with this one I want to go and confront them ??an tell them straight he's the lier but afraid what it may bring

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  • Posted

    I believe that prayer changes things, sometimes we as humand beings find ourselves in situations where we cannot see a way out. but God knows and he can do all things if we trust him and ask.  what ever you have done or said it is between you and God he is the only judge, so give prayer a chance, the rest will follow and you will feel a whole lot better in yourself knowing you have passed on all this weight onto someone else to deal with for you.
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    • Posted

      I do say "please God help me" , "why is this happening to me"?

      but I never seem to get ?an answer or a way out, I don't know what to say when I pray do I ask for forgiveness?, do I ask this mess is taken away ? I feel I go from one mess to another I never have a clean break am always either down or worrying terribly , ?Thanks for your reply x

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  • Posted

    You need to ask what you want, and the ativities that you did are in the past and move on

    It would seem you are very sad and need help, so I would suggest you see your GP and explain how you feel.

    If your Husband finds out about the Affair you are going to need some intervention to put the whole nasty deception to rest. Relate may help you both and I hope everything works well for you

    BOB

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    • Posted

      I have done the whole guilt eat my self up about it I thought it was finally behind me , untill this happened with the girl , I just fead it's all going to blow up around me and my family will find out I ??carnt cope with the thought of shame ppl talking about me and knowing im now afraid to go out and I already have anxiety issues this is just going to add im going to be afraid to go places now Incase i bump into her and if I bump into her who will I be with my child/ a family member my partner I don't see how I can get round this im starting to think has this girl knew all these 6/7 years or is it a recent but if news I just don't know what to think I want to tell her that I didn't know he was with her till I called it all off and seen her out side his house, I actually got the shock of my life and felt sick because it was then I realised he had two gfs and was lying about being single although he knew my situation I know it dosnt make it any better on my half as I was the one in the relation ship but I didn't enter ?an affair knowing he had a family also it's such a mess I want to know why he walks away scot free or does he I don't know if there together now but the look ??an her face I actually went to say hello and she looked at me if looks could kill . 😥

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