Posted , 8 users are following.

I have never asked for help before , but believe I have been suffering g from something for a very long time ...

i have chronic pain, am alone , can't cope with most things in life now and want to die , but not commit suicide , does that make any sense ..I dream of dying planned my fruneral songs everything ...

i dont think that that makes me suicidai , I'm so confused about it doctor has referred me but app not till end of march

1 like, 17 replies

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17 Replies

  • Posted

    Hi Mandy, sorry but what do you mean by - you are suffering g.

    Keep in touch.

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  • Posted

    Hi I totally get it coz I am the same.  Ok I don't suffer from chronic pain but I do have mild/moderate lung diease and a painful back,  and I am alone too.  Completely and utterly alone with 3 sisters who don't care and who have their own problems as well.  I have no partner/kids and in my 60's have no hope of them either.

    I often have this fantasy - I don't want to have to go to the trouble of killing myself but I do want my natural end to come asap.  I picture myself dying and telling my sisters that I am leaving all my money and propery to charity so they can go stuff themselves.  I would love to see their faces smile 

    I wonder how many would attend my funeral,  whether anyone would miss me.  I know the songs I want and everything.   At least you have been referred so hold on to that.  I was turned down for counselling on the NHS as was diagnosed with only 'moderate depression'.  They are rationing it in my area now. 

    I recognise I have a death wish which is why I am still smoking with my lung issues...  x

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    • Posted

      I don't know what to say to you , I know we have cutbacks too so maybe I won't be passed to anyone, 

      i think mine mine stems from childhood abuse , never dealt with straight to being married at 16 to escape only to have continued abuse ..,

      and only now these things are coming coming back to haunt me I think ..

      I do hope you can get somebody to hear your voice and help you ..


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  • Posted


    Yes I do understand I am a Pensioner and after my birthday last year we contacted our Building Society and they arranged two policys with the Coop where we payed for our funerals now and when we die they will take over all the planting charges.

    We paid at todays charge and that was it. We await our demise, all we now have to do is tell them where we are going and any special requests.

    I do not know what your condition is and what causes your Chronic Pain, all I can say is I have been in Chronic pain now for over thirty years and I have been introduced to a Pain Clinic to help me control my condition and my medications. I suppose I have been lucky in some ways to have been given a stack of NHS Courses to help me.

    What medications are you taking ?, have they introduced you to A Pain Clinic or other departments that can help.

    What Department have you been reffered to?


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  • Posted

    From one mandy to another bless your ?. Xxx cant believe u have to wait that long when youre feeling so bad. I can relate to all you have said, & like a lot of us on here a lot has stemmed from childhood. Without therapy in later life it manifests to depression, ptsd, anxiety, & suicidal ideation. X if you are no better i would go to the hospital tell them all you have told us. Ur going thru so much. The end of march is a long way away... were here for u shud u wanna talk to us guys on here too. Xx good luck from someone whos been there xx

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    • Posted

      Hi  Mandy ..thank. You for. Your kind words ..the app is a long time away, but I am just  grateful that. I have one with all the cutbacks..

      i just.used. To be so strong and can't believe I have come to. This..

      I just wish I knew what it was aaand get it sorted .feel like a failure , I am the one who has always kept everyone's spirits. Up , now I am unable to. Do that ..

      Just. glad i. Have found this group ...💕

      Thank you xx

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    • Posted

      Me too... i found it about 6 weeks ago. Im turning a corner after a terrible few months but this group has helped so much. And helping others makes me feel usefull again .. yr not a failure not at all. Thats depression talking . I was a singer for the military @ parties/ functions. A rock chick in the 90s so outhoing happy & alive!!! We will be that again. I have been hsppy inbetween these bouts. And i know u can do it too. Hang in there xxx ;0))))

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