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Depression and anxiety

Posted , 5 users are following.

Leo786
Leo786

hi everybody new to this forum I am suffering from depression and anxiety at times and used citalopram from last 4.5 weeks but with no such good results I am bit health anxiety case my question is can somebody relate to me here within a day few times at least I feel I will come of this depression and anxiety and will leave my life again and than the same day I will feel no I will never come out of it is that normal ? Can anybody relate? Am I bipolar with rapid cycle ?but I don't have any mood swings prior this depression and anxiety came to my life 6weeks ago and even my depression and anxiety was not that bad before I went to these medication I don't know please can anybody help pleaseeee!!!!

0 likes, 30 replies

30 Replies

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  • rachel62244
    rachel62244 Leo786

    Posted

    I'm the same and doctor just tries increasing my dose. I had 2ok weeks where I was saying o its going and I can go this. Now I'm crashed again and so scared I'll never be me again or who me is! I feel flat low and number with a can't move attitude it's awful sad
  • jen39193
    jen39193 Leo786

    Posted

    Hi Leo,

    From what you say your moods appear to be fluctuating daily, giving you concerns around bi-polar symptoms. I am not a clinician, and as far as I understand in the UK you reuire two full blown psychotic/mania episodes before they consider a full diagnosis. You speak of depression, and it comes like the tide, ebbing in and out. Stick with the meds, try to be productive in your day, attempting the llittle things that you get joy from. Listen to your body, rest, breathe, relax. The drugs can highten your anxiety, but they are trying to do their job, stick with it my friend as we are all in this journey together. Take Care

  • Leo786
    Leo786

    Posted

    Jen and Rachel thanks for your replies I really appreciate ,whatever is the case wheather its depression or anxiety or something else my main concern is correct diagnosis and these thoughts feeling like trapped in ur mind thinking what if !!! Killing me inside my doctor think coz I cannot tolerate high dose of citalopram because of reactions I should switch to escitalopram today he gave me Rx  of escitalopram here you go another uphill struggle with side effects for few weeks now u understand where I am coming from? But I have no option than try and error !!! I feel sad
    • rachel62244
      rachel62244 Leo786

      Posted

      I feel your pain. Iv two children and a baby too who I love so much I'd do anything to be me and not this crying confused mess. I feel trapped in my mind too its like been in a bubble or looking through glass at everyone. I'm very disconnected and hazy. I say this in hope relating helps a little x
    • rachel62244
      rachel62244

      Posted

      PS I worry of bi polar too but you have to trust the doctors I'm seeing the home treatment team so I'm in what they call the expert hands so its it hope they know the difference but I can tell u know if very up and down and its very disheartening x
  • lee1111
    lee1111 Leo786

    Posted

    Hi Leo, I am sorry you are having a rough time. I understand your frustration as Celexa is the third med I have tried in four months. I was on Brintellix and then Remeron before the Cipramil. I think each time meds change we feel frustrated and even more desperate to start feeling better. Trust the process and your Dr and go with the escitalopram. We are all here to help eachother through the dips, so I hope things start settling down soon for you. Lee.
  • katecogs
    katecogs Leo786

    Posted

    Citalopram takes around 4 - 5 months before you feel any benefit from it.  Perseverance and much patience is the best.  Increasing your dose will not bring faster results.  You have to wait for the meds to work.

    Along the way your mood will be up and down to on these meds, until eventually it'll even out and the anxiety and depression will ease away.

    I was ill for 15 years until these meds sorted me out, and have now been well ever since.

    Its a tough journey on these meds, but waiting for things to happen is so worth it.

    K x

     

    • rachel62244
      rachel62244 katecogs

      Posted

      Hi Kate. I had two good weeks well of been OK ish to drop AGAIN and left feeling I'm loosing the plot and so on edge. Iv been on sertraline since march and been on 100mg 5weeks now I'm so so desperate now but they don't seem to want to change meds so they must think there working and yes they help but then I drop again. I do worry its bi polar as I go from OK to been on the floor again and can't focus (become dumb) sad I question if I was ever normal all my life ! Forgetting who I am its all so alien x
    • katecogs
      katecogs rachel62244

      Posted

      Hi Rachel

      This is perfectly normal in the early few months on this type of meds.  Feeling good, then plummet again and feel you're back to square one.  This pattern will continue for a while as you recover and should even out to feeling good all the time eventually.  It's a long slow process unfortunately and you need to try the meds for about 3-5 months before you can see if they're the ones for you.

      When you're in the grip of it all you do wonder what it was like to be normal.  It's hard to be patient, but if you've felt good for 2 weeks already then things are surely beginning to happen for you.  Just let the feelings be there, carry on and you'll find they'll disappear again.

      K x

    • rachel62244
      rachel62244 katecogs

      Posted

      I didn't feel myself but I wasn't crying and I was warming to my feelings rather then been flat and dull (hate this) I'm a loving warm person so been unable to feel things is awful. I'm forgetful and confused a lot of the time and question if I dreamt things or if it was real (I feel in a bubble nothing looks right) its scary been disconnected from the world. Doctors coming round to review me tomorrow. I'm scared I'll never come back its a fight I keep loosing
    • katecogs
      katecogs rachel62244

      Posted

      Yes I felt in a bubble too.  I began to forget how it felt being normal.  Your mind is so focused on how you're feeling that you do get confused and forgetful - it's as if there's no room for anything except 24/7 on your illness.

      it does get easier.

       

    • rachel62244
      rachel62244 katecogs

      Posted

      Just think maybe sert is not for me. They say it is as iv improved, its just getting up to a does to keep me there. I just feel flat like I care about nothing. No personality at all sad
    • katecogs
      katecogs rachel62244

      Posted

      How long have you been on it?

      All SSRI's take a long time to work unfortunately.  It's worth persevering for a good 3-4 months plus before you can see if they'll work.  It's very hard waiting for them to get into your system.

      K x

    • rachel62244
      rachel62244 katecogs

      Posted

      Since early march so 3 1/2 months nearly. The 100mg has been 5weeks the rest 50 and 75mg. If I look back I'm better then I was just not good enough ! I get to where I'm on track to get pushed off again. There is nothing in my life making me unhappy apart from dealing with the illness. Maybe Dr is right and I need the 150mg (seems high) I can switch from OK to super low a lot throughout my day.
    • katecogs
      katecogs rachel62244

      Posted

      Ok so 3 1/2 months is still early-ish, and seeing that you can see slight changes since you started means that it's working.  It really is a very slow process and you should find yourself improving even more as the weeks go by, even thought it'll be slow.  When I recovered the improvement was hardly noticeable, but looking back I could see the progress.  Upping your dose will give you side effects again, so maybe you can just hang on a little longer?  Obviously your doctor knows best xx

      Often there is nothing making people unhappy - it's just the illness.  You will improve ....... persevere  winkx

      K x

       

    • rachel62244
      rachel62244 katecogs

      Posted

      Doctor come round and said I need to try 150mg. She said iv come so far I just can't see it but everyone else can. Says the illness is talking me down all the time. She thinks the fact iv had some good days means its working even if I do end up back on the floor. I just feel like I'm stuck. So great enough upset of an increase to properly fail again even though she reckons it just needs a bit more of a push and I'll get better
    • katecogs
      katecogs rachel62244

      Posted

      Often when you feel you just aren't getting anywhere, you'll suddenly find yourself turning that corner.  Different medications suit different people, and different doses too.  If your doctor says up the dose then I expect that extra increase may be the extra push you need.

      See how the extra increase goes.

      I've heard from other people they aren't improving, then suddenly things start happening.  So fingers crossed it's your turn now :-)

      K x

    • rachel62244
      rachel62244 katecogs

      Posted

      I hope so for my children's sake and the fact it's breaking my heart ! Iv wrote a bit of a diary now to see if I can see any patterns (time of month etc) but looking back iv had more good days since 100mg after I got over it increasing the anxiety. Sometimes it does feel like its just that last bit (crying is better then total anxious panic) just so upset that I really though I was on top of it but no like always it doesn't last. Please let the increase keep me up !!! Sorry to sound all about me and I'm so happy for ur support I really am
    • katecogs
      katecogs rachel62244

      Posted

      My children were young when I was very ill, and eventually recovered, so know how it is :-(

      Remember, when you're recovering your mood will be up and down.  You won't just wake up feeling better.  It'll creep up on you.  Some days you feel good and think you're winning, and the next you'll be back down that dark hole again.  That pattern will continue whilst you recover until the dark hole gets less and less and then no more.  Took me 3-4 months before I started noticing things, then about 6 months I was feeling quite good and from there continued to improve even more.

      Dont forget that you may get an anxiety increase with a dose increase ..... you might not, but if you do it will only be for a short while.

      Dont apologise for keep asking :-)  - I know how you feel exactly, and assurance and support is so vital when you're not well.

      When you're ill you can't ever see a way out, but when you're better you'll look back and see if all so much clearer.

      K x

    • rachel62244
      rachel62244 katecogs

      Posted

      Who thought having a baby could do this, iv been so very very ill like climbing the walls and not sleeping days in a row feeling like I was loosing my mind and fearing been left with my children in case I turned crazy and murderd them (I now know that fear was out of love) but god I was a mess. Never thought normal people got this. I have a huge respect for mental health now and I'll help all I can to make peoples views change!!

      Yes I have a few days of 90% then woke up few days later to anxiety then makes me vomit, this up and down makes me feel I'll never get there. I'm not a depressed low person I'm a happy caring person so its so out of the norm yet so like my first episode of pnd. I really need to stop talking haha but no one understands they just think I'm 'sad' if only eh xxx

    • katecogs
      katecogs rachel62244

      Posted

      So you've only had this since the birth of your children?  Are you being treated specifically for PND then?

      I'm no expert, but we all seem to arrive at this illness through many different paths, and it's recovering that's the main focus now.  Mine started a long time before I had children, and was caused from prolonged stressful events.  Some people thrive on stress, and some reach a tipping point.

      Many of us have had many fears like you - you aren't alone.  I used to hate being alone as was scared, which only added to my fears.  I've also been a complete mess in the past, thinking I'd never get better.  The mind plays amazing tricks on us when we're ill and our nerves are 'raw' ...... but remember, it's the illness working, and not your true self.

      ​Have you any books specifically on PND?  I can't recommend any as not read any on that particular subject, but some books I found a great source of help are Self Help for your Nerves and others in that series, written by Dr Claire Weeks.  They cover nervous illness, agoraphobia and other fears, but she writes in a really clear way that helped me understand and unravelled some of the mystery, taking some of the fear away.  

      It seems once we get into this illness, we follow similar paths of how we feel - it must be just the physical course of action our bodies take when presented with the illness.

      For me, reading many books and then eventually taking SSRI's, I recovered.  I also have a huge respect for mental illness - nobody can ever envisage what it's like unless they've suffered.  Even doctors and the mental health professionals - they can't truly wear the teeshirt 'been there, done that'.

      You can alway message me too smile

      K xx 

    • stevo1975
      stevo1975 katecogs

      Posted

      Beautifully put Katecogs!!! thats a perfect one to put it smile
    • stevo1975
      stevo1975 katecogs

      Posted

      I meant perfect way to put it not perfect one .....lol
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