Posted , 5 users are following.
When I was 30 years old I had my first panick attack and I was working at that time when it hit me. I was so stressed at that time that I was drinking a lot of coffee and redbulls just to keep me going. I did not realize at that time that I was going down. It happened so suddenly and the panick attacks continued. I was diagnozed with panic attacs and depression. I started having different sorts of thoughts and fears. I was so scared and I thought I had schizophrenia, because my brother was diagnozed with it and I thought I had it too. So the doctor prescribed me cipramil for my depression and anxiety. I took it for the last 6 years. I was feeling OK. I tried to stop medication a couple of times, but I couldn't. I had always the fear that I was getting schizophrenia. In december 2013, I got another big blow of anxiety and depression. I went to a psychiatrist and he prescribed me olanzopine and something else. I cannot remember the name right now. I asked him if I had schizophrenia and he said no, but when I read the leaflet that comes with the olanzapine box it said that it it is used to treat schizophrenia, but I am still scared. How can I shake this feeling off? How can I be sure 100% that I am not getting it or I am not schizophrenic? And how can I get better? What should I do to bit depression?
I don't think I have paranoia or see people that don't exist or hear voices. The feelings that I have most of the time are:
- my energy is drained away
- I cannot enjoy the time with my daughters
- I don't feel much towards my daughters or wife
- I feel like I have not achieved anything
- i feel like people don't like me
- i feel like people don't respect me
- i have been doing the same job for the last 10 years and I am not getting anywhere
- i feel lonely
- the world looks dark and pointless
- At some moments I thought perhaps God has panished me and if I die I will go to hell (is this paranoia).
- I am afraid that something might happen in the future, like i will get more depressed or really ill and I will not be able to work or hold my family and I might lose it
- I am afraid that I might not get better
0 likes, 10 replies