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Okay so ive even dealing with depression and anxiety and derealization for a long time now. So like right now my day started out okay but when I took a shower I started telling myself "I'm okay I'm okay life is beautiful" all of sudden I felt this dark feeling and I started thinking "you can't even feel reality what's the point? You aren't even connected to reality?, something dark is gonna get you blah blah you're gonna be deafeatn, you're gonna suffer after you die misery is everywhere, sadness is the reality. What's the point of life and feeeling okay? You're just gonna be blinded by the true reality" I feel scared which is heightnening my anxiety levels right now I don't want to feel this way I feel like I'm bothering everyone and I matter what people tell me I feel like it isn't real. My depression is lesding me to suicidal thoughts. I want to feel content and happy with life. My moms around me but I still feel alone. My thoughts feel happy but then they overthink the happiness and then it leads to dark thoguhts and thinking that everyone is lying about caring for me. And that I'm just bothering her with my sadness and darkness. Thinking that we're all gonna die anyway so what's the point? My anxiety is out of control right now I feel like I'm crazy or something.
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