Depression and anxiety triggered by work stress

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I'm a 23 year old woman working for a large organisation with a lot of responsibility on my shoulders and zero support from my manager and my team. I spend everyday in the office from 9-7 most nights working flat out and then I'll come home and open my laptop to finish the bits I didn't quite get done before the cleaner physically kicked me out of the office. I've reached my breaking point and I've finally fell into the pit of anxiety and depression that I know all too well. I've been diagnosed with mental health illnesses in the past so I know what my next steps are, but never in my life have I felt so disregarded and lonely.

I have tried to reach out to my line manager about how my workload is affecting me and he shrugs it off, I said to my colleagues that my work loads is too much and they tell me they can't help, I've told my fiance that I'm struggling and he tells me to be more organised, I can't talk to my mum because she lives far away and she'll just go into panic mode (I had a lengthy episode of depression at uni, ended in suicide attempt and a drinking problem) after everything that's happened previously and she'll probably have me sectioned, I've tried talking to a friend whos advice felt judgy and she spent most of the conversation comparing her issues to my own and telling me I need to get my s**t together basically. I feel so alone and I don't know what to do. I have even said out loud at my desk in the office (by accident as I thought I said it in my head) "I just wish I was dead" and my colleagues laughed it off. I feel like everyone thinks I'm joking when I try and tell them I'm really struggling. It's as if because I'm not having a sobbing meltdown in the middle of the office, I can't possibly be ill. To add insult to injury, I work for a company that specialises in care...

I'm so sick of hearing stock phrases like "you can only do what you can" or "don't worry about it, it's beyond your control" or my absolute favourite at the moment "you need to learn how to relax". I can't relax, I have people breathing down my neck 5 days a week, I can't just "not worry" as I have targets and deadlines to meet and I can't just "do what I can do" as I'm not even sure what the hell that even means! I'm so frustrated, I honestly just want to die.

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  • Posted

    Hi teagan55475,

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologies for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here: https://patient.info/health/dealing-with-suicidal-thoughts, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    Kindest regards,

    Patient

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  • Posted

    I had so much pressure from my boss that my body actually got so ill I couldn't function. Took months to find out I was actually 'stressed'. Had to stop work but the company didn't want to know. Made me sign a ND form and chucked me half wages for 6 months.

    There is a whole world of lovely people out there. I know. I'm one. Your company do have a 'duty of care' . I would contact your trade union or ACAS, to see where you stand. Fight it. Fight them

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  • Posted

    I really really sympathise. I too have a job with a huge workload and sole responsibility for way too much. My boss is to put it blindly, a nob. He isnt interested and wont employ additional staff stating we cant afford it but has taken on his son, who is an idiot and lazy and now his daughter as a trainee, who basically does nothing. I'm stuck because I'm only a couple of years off retirement and cant find another job that pays enough or allows me to work from home as I now do. You, however, are young - is the stress and awful conditions you work in worth ruining your health for, because it will. My health has suffered badly from working in such stressful conditions with long hours, please dont let yours. Start looking for another job soon. Use a positive slant in your CV and applications to reflect how much responsibility you have and how much you do for your company. My partner works in 'care' also and he and his colleagues are also treated poorly, it must come with the territory. I fully understand that because you feel so helpless and stressed at present, looking for and applying for another job seem beyond you but it'll give you something to look forward to and dont forget, newcomers to jobs are given time to settle in and train up, which will lessen the pressure for a while. Look upon the job hunt as something exciting and the end result will be that you can stick two fingers up to your idiot of a boss. I also understand the feeling of having no support - dont be angry with others, it's often very difficult for people to comprehend just how awful it is to be stressed and depressed and they also sometimes have their own difficulties going on and dont want to be laden with someone elses. They also dont really know how to handle it, they arent professionals in the field of mental health. Find a counsellor - if your doctor wont refer you or the waiting list is too long, contact MIND, they will listen. Dont give up, at your age there's plenty of time to change your circumstances and make life better.

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    • Posted

      Hi I have to agree with you. I was in a job at a call centre for 5 years until my mid 50's. I hated the job and it was incredibly stressful, but had no choice but to stay as because of my age and area there were few jobs and I had to become solvent again.

      My stress levels caused my depression to get much worse and I have never fully recovered. The jury is still out on whether it was worth it. x

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  • Posted

    I would pack that job in for a start even if it means doing nothing for a while. Jobs are very overrated, people vastly over value them,probably because they are perceived as providing security that everyone longs for, and at 23 you will easily get another. I also think women can find jobs easier than men can, particularly office based ones

    Get yourself mentally in a better condition then start to look for something else eg part time. Your mental health is far more important than your current job, fight just one battle at a time, at moment you fight 2

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  • Posted

    Hi I have to agree with Loxie. You are way too young to be stuck in a job you hate so my advice is to get out as soon as possible. Even if your new job is less money your health is much more important. x

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  • Posted

    quit. no job is worth the stress. i had a similar situation where along with my co worker- we experienced harassment from the people we provided services to and a boss who thought she was these peoples savior and not only told us to deal with if because it was their "trauma" but joined in passive aggressive behavior. i would cry every other day and struggle to get up. well, i quit that damn job, my co worker did too. we, parted ways; struggled financially. she moved 80 miles away and i moved 260 miles away.... i regained my self esteem, my triggered symptoms decreased, i had more energy. it was not easy, i make less money with a new job but i was healthy & no job should ever compromise your health. ever. think about it, theyre chewing you up and they dint care. so, you shouldnt care. youre young enough where you can start over. its ok to take a break and focus on yourself and discover who you want to be. plus, leaving that job will eventually give you the sense of clarity you need to learn your limits and yo set boundaries and to learn to say "no" to things which is absolutely ok to do.

    quitting was the best thing i ever did. after i quit, the boss hired a man because she smirked and said that i, a woman (shes a woman too) couldnt handle it. she even gave the kid a raise. he lasted three months.

    in a nutshell yes, youre seemingly at the bottom in terms if quality if care at your jib but if you think about it, you can only go up from here, even if you struggle a little bit like i did with finding a job- youre still 1) out of a toxic place and 2) moving onward and upward.

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