Depression and me
Posted , 5 users are following.
Hello everyone. I realised I'd been a member of this group for two months and I haven't yet posted about myself. So here it is, I'll keep it short:
I'm 45, separated with two beautiful children. My wife is 33. We were married 8 years ago, but only 4 years into the marriage the cracks began to show. I never noticed at first - but my wife did. She began to suffer with depression through stressful situations at work. I told her I'd be there to help, but we began to drift apart. I did all I could to keep us together but 2 months ago she decided to move out. My world was torn apart.
We're still living apart and the kids stay with us 50:50 whenever possible, and we've since become closer again. To me it seems a little bit of that spark has come back. But I cry every day. Not all day because that would be worrying! But at least once a day the loneliness builds in me to the point where I just break down and nothing can stop it.
I'm not ready for medication, I do think this is situational depression brought on by separation. I'm slowly getting my finances sorted out (everyone's biggest worry) and I'm trying to improve myself by getting back into a few hobbies, but some days are really emotional and it gets me so low 😞
2 likes, 4 replies
Digsby fedup33
Posted
Thanks for sharing so openly buddy - you will find unconditional support here whenever you need it.
I'm so sorry about your situation: I often think of depression as an unwanted intruder in a relationship - nobody invited it in & nobody wants it to be there but it can be a persistent "guest". It's completely understandable how you are feeling with your emotions up & down. My marriage ended suddenly 6 years ago & my world fell apart - the mind has to adjust to the earth turning on a new axis. Keep giving your wife the space & the encouragement that she obviously needs at the moment. You both may change as people but that may mean you will come through this dark experience stronger & together. You are doing all the right things to remain positive & keep a healthy balance in your life with the things that are in your control. Keep in touch & good luck in the coming days. Best wishes :-)
9999 fedup33
Posted
It's understandable you don't have your wife anymore. Now you feel depressed. But remember you still have your two children. You're not completely alone. If there's a spark coming back maybe things will work out for both of you again. You never know. Keep yourself distracted engage in your hobbies and you will feel a bit better. Good Luck💖💖💪Take Care
wayne1962 fedup33
Posted
Hi fedup - sorry to read of your situation. The wound is still fresh, so of course you are on a rollercoaster. Do what you have been doing thus far - sorting out the finances, self improvement, hobbies etc, but most importantly, giving your wife space to sort herself out as well. Sometimes a break and time apart can sharpen the focus and help us find where our priorities lie (besides with the kids who should come first and be reassured that their world is not collapsing.) It's perfectly okay to cry - you are experiencing raw emotions and crying is a release. Let it out, don't try to control it. Yes, some days will be low and can seem hopeless, but it's not permanent, just part of the process. Meanwhile, be kind to yourself. Keep the hope. We are always here to talk.
fedup33
Posted
Thank you everybody. It's so good to know I have friends here to help me. My wife and I are slowly working through this. We're still a couple but we both think a little time apart is needed. The past two years have been a roller coaster, been through highs and lows like nothing else in my life. I think this may be the 'reset button' we both need. The kids are ok, we're making sure they don't become as stressed as their parents. They're happy ?