Depression and New Relationships

Posted , 2 users are following.

Ok, so my insomnia is playing up big style at the moment and I think one of the reasons is because I'm fretting about a new relationship in my life.

Last year I was my mum's carer, she died in October and I couldn't have managed without the support of my fiance (of 11 years). However just before Christmas he told me he didn't know what he wanted anymore but knew he still loved me but wasn't sure if it was like that or not but also had feelings for someone else. All he did know is that he did still want me in his life. He still doesn't know what he wants but that is another story. Now because I was my mum's carer we had very little time for each other over the last year so we didn't really do anything as a couple. 

Although, suffice to say I fell apart big style after that news.

So once I picked myself up (with lots of help from my GP) I felt ready to meet people. Now I have been described like Worzel Gummidge in that I have different heads, and my practical head says it's too soon but then my fun head says I need to get out and have some fun.

Now I've sort of met someone, he knows I have had depression before and he hasn't run off. I know at some point I will have to tell him I'm currently under treatment again for it but at the moment I'm just enjoying going out which if that's as far as it goes I'm happy.

Now I doubt myself because my'practical' head says it's too soon, emotionally, health wise, stability wise, and every way possible, but I sort of feel ready. But then my support worker said the other day that he thought I wasn't ready because I spoke about my ex, well I'd seen my ex the day before (we're trying to be friends so went to the cinema), and it has caused me to doubt even more than normal and I haven't slept properly since.

Last time I went through a bad break up I didn't feel like going out seeing anyone for about 18 months but as we haven't done anything as a couple and only saw each other once every few weeks for about a year I don't feel completely like I've only just come out of the relationship, if that makes sense.

But now I'm doubting everything again, how do I know that this 'ready' feeling is that I am ready to go out and meet someone or if it is the depression talking or whether my support worker is right.

C sad

1 like, 5 replies

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5 Replies

  • Posted

    Personally I would trust my gut feeling, it sounds like it's just at the getting to know you and fun stage anyway, so where's the harm.
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    • Posted

      Thank you, that's my plan, I just plan on having fun, if it goes anywhere it does if not it doesn't, although 4th date on Thursday smile

      I think it was the fact it was my support worker that said it made me doubt myself even more than I normally do.

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  • Posted

    Just go at a pace that suits you and feels 'right'. You only really need to tell this guy if it starts to move towards a more serious relationship. It may take a while to get used to the freedom again after all this time though but until then just relax and enjoy your time. Try new things and go to new places and soon your settle and find what you like as the person you are now. 
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    • Posted

      Thank you, definitely having fun and enjoying our time together so far and he's great as he doesn't pressure me about anything. He did ask about my wrist strapping but didn't push me to give him a full answer so I know he's happy for me in my time. I am definitely finding out a lot about myself at the moment, completely different to what I previously thought.
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