Depression/Anxiety (monkey mind)
Posted , 5 users are following.
I was depressed for 10 years after my older brother died from taking extasy tablet, my partner at the time physically and emotionally abused me for 10 years, I got the courage to leave him with our 2 children, I met someone else who made me happy, then my parents passed away within 4 months of each other, then my ex partner took his own life the same year, I got my kids into grief therapy, I tried a few myself but couldn't find one I could connect with, as much as I missed my parents I wasn't stuck in grief like I was after losing my brother, I knew I wasn't depressed but everyone around me kept telling me I was, I went to gp and she diagnosed me with Anxiety and put me on Mitrazapine, I then had another child to my new partner 3 years ago, my Anxiety got worse after giving birth, it caused our relationship to break down and we separated at the start of this year, he has got an interdict from court to stop me moving closer to family, which would mean me moving a 4 hours drive away, also his new partners friends are being threatening towards me which has increased my Anxiety to the point where I'm scared to leave my house unless I have someone with me, I've been on lots of different meds but none seem to help and my gp said I can't go back on Mitrazapine as I'm single with a toddler, I feel stuck in a cage I can't get out, I don't sleep much I wake up 2/3 times a night, every morning I wake up feeling sick most mornings I just gag for about an hour, I'm currently on waiting list for therapist but it's a 4 months waiting list.....
0 likes, 9 replies
anxietysite123 Kitty121
Posted
I'm so sorry you have to deal with this.. I can't imagine. You're very strong though, just know that.. Why are they being threatening to you? That is extremely childish and I would document it to show courts. Do you have postpartum anxiety?? Mine was nonexistent and then after my son, my world came crumbling down. I dont have any real advice to help, but I hope you find a solution. Are there any other therapists? You can feel free to message me anytime you want, I'll listen to your problems and help as best as I can.
Kitty121 anxietysite123
Posted
Hi they are doing it because I don't want my ex partners new partner around my son yet they haven't been together long and I don't think it's right for him to be introduced to her yet as it might not last and it's about my son spending time with his dad nobody else, he only sees him once a fortnight so I don't think it's unreasonable, also because I want to move away to be closer to family for support for me and my kids, they are doing it when I'm outside not over internet or texts messages which makes it harder to prove, I don't feel safe walking in my home town anymore, I only leave my house if I'm getting into my car or walking to end of my street to visit a friend...
anxietysite123 Kitty121
Posted
Don't let them win.. If you have to, record it on your phone or something. He sounds extremely immature and you shouldn't have to deal with that. And his girlfriend has no right at all to get involved with you or your son if they haven't been together very long. Does she treat your child well from what you can see? You really need to see a psychiatrist. They can target your treatment to grief, trauma, etc, all of which it seems like you need..
I hope you guys get this all solved. Try starting to go out though, that isn't healthy for you and is no way to live your life.. Don't let them win, from the sounds of it, they're not worth it.
Kitty121 anxietysite123
Posted
I don't know I've never seen her and my ex lied about being with her until my son said her name to me after being dropped off, he has lied to his lawyers about having her around him, I do go out just avoid the town I live in, I go to next town for shops which is something I've always done, but don't take my son to local parks anymore I go to next town to do that as well now on good days where I feel able to, got appointment to see my Doctor nxt week will ask her again to refer me to psych.
ninja-warrior Kitty121
Posted
Hello kitty. So i was actually joining this to look for some answers and randomly saw this, and decided you deserve to have some much more than i do. Anyways felt compelled to respond and have no idea if any of this will help, hope so though. Like anxietysite said.....I can't even imagine going through all of that. First of all, dumb question, is gp general psychiatrist by any chance? I have a psych as well but didnt want to assume and respond towards that. As for all the terrible things you've gone through, and with such frequency, unfortunately there's a high chance of that leaving all possibilties of traumas or conditions. At the same time it's relieving knowing what exactly it is you're being effected by and receiving an accurate diagnosis and medication. On top of that , of course, not being overbearing enough to interfere with being single with your child. For example, i have severe anxiety. The diagnosis though changes frequently. I have a combination of social phobia, agoraphia, and panic disorder.Sometimes they throw in depression or bipolar as well, and the reason is cuz it's somewhat of a guessing game until you feel "okay". Too many conditions and their symptons overlap into others that its hard to tell sometimes. You could literally only have depression, but have enough symptoms(to constitute diagnosing) of three other conditions you dont have. Sometimes its hard to find the right medication because you might not be aware of another condition its conflicting with. Trying to be as open as you chose to be, which i think is a brave thing to do. My medications are klonopin, lamotrigine, and seroquel. This is all my own experience and personal medical therapy and research, definately not a doctor here. So I'm gonna stop here, i don't want to be telling you things you weren't looking to hear for answers. You're more than welcome to message me back though and if you want i can get into the meds ive been on that have and havent worked, possible conditions, and what led up to my own condition now.And always always, never take this stuff as fact. Pysch knows best or should. It's great to have new things to run by them though. And in my experience, in the midst of overwhelming seclusion, just having someone to talk to is an amazing thing. Oh and yeah, i waited 3 months for therapist and another 3 months for psych with a personal referral from the therapist. It frickin sucks. Best wishes if i don't hear from you. I hope you get the answers and help you're looking for and need.
Kitty121 ninja-warrior
Posted
Thank you Ninja-Warrior, No psych unfortunately just general practitioner doctor, I've been on so many meds over the years I can't even remember half of them, never been referred to psych either in the 18 years I've had depression/Anxiety,
I only recently found this site and have found it really helpful being able to communicate with others who understand how debilitating anxiety can be, I'm surrounded with people who keep telling me to get a grip and nothing is as bad as I think it is, if only they could live a day in my head they would see it's not that easy, I have wondered sometimes if I have ptsd, also over past year I've been getting bad headaches which is something I've never had before in my life they don't last long sometimes it's gone in 2 mins other times it's sore for hours even after taking paracetamol.
ninja-warrior Kitty121
Posted
hm that's interesting with the head-aches. Now that i think about it, when my symptoms got to their worst is when i started having to have migraine pills on me always. never stopped to this day lol. I guess logically your mind can only handle so much, maybe that's why or part of it. ok so as to the doc. Just some advice. you should ask for a referral to a psych. general practitioner means just that, general in a variety of things, but don't really specialize in a specific thing. Also they can only by law prescribe certain meds. A psychiatrist is solely there to diagnose and treat or medicate. I think with all youve been through you should at least talk to a pysch to see what he or she thinks. If u have conditions you aren't aware of that in itself can do a whole lot of damage. My gp diagnosed me with pstd.......which i most definately dont have. but then the psych actually fixed me up the best he could at least
I agree, it's sooo nice finally finding someone to talk to that doesn't give you that one liner "it's just in ur head". Don't get me wrong they can't help it, no one can understand actual anxiety as a condition, because they associate it with their normal anxiety that everyone has. It's impossible to understand something that's irrational in nature. so ya, after a really long time i had to stop confiding in people and i just hid myself away for a long time. again though don't let any of these poeple tell you how you actually feel or it's just not there. I'm sure they are trying to help but they obviously arent
lucy35376 Kitty121
Posted
Hey there. It really sounds like you have been through it, not really surprising you feel the way you do. The one thing you need to remember is that you are not alone, there are more people than you could imagine who suffer with anxiety and you will find some help that works.
I try so many different things to try to ease mine, some work and some don't. Have you tried Rescue Remedy? This doesn't cure me but it does seem to take the edge of a little - I put drops in a bottle of water and sip through the day. I also have a couple of apps on my phone, at my worst I spent a few hours listening to one particular one and I felt quite relaxed after then just listened for about half an hour each night at bedtime. Again, this hasn't cured me but life has been more manageable so maybe worth a try while you are waiting for therapy. The app I used is called De-stressify.
I spend lots of time Googling possible help for my anxiety and do find tips that help, I know you will get through this rough patch so try and stay strong, I'm sure your children make everything worthwhile xx
sue58256 Kitty121
Posted
I am so sorry to hear what you have gone through my lovely you haven't just gone through one circumstances but a few so i empathize totally with you my love hang on there when you get the counselling hopefully you will get the right one I did and its done me so much good in fact i wish I had this counsellor years ago she has helped me so much I hope you get the support you need my lovely keep on this page my lovely there will be others to support you This is a brilliant page for support I have been on this site since march and it has been a wonderful page for support