Depression getting worse...

Posted , 7 users are following.

I was on Venlafaxine for around 2/3 years, i'm not sure how long, i lost track. The past few years seem like a blur, my memory isn't so good recently. I find it hard to remember yesterday. 

I stopped taking venlafaxine on my own, cold turkey. Since my doctor was unwilling to taper me down - but it seems from reading other peoples experiences, you get the same withdrawl symptoms anyway.

I wanted to come off them because I felt like a zombie, I didnt care about anything.

It took around 11/12 days to get rid of the brain zaps, sweats, night terrors, shaking etc. all the bad symptoms. Its been a few weeks now and my depression has been getting worse again, every day feels like a struggle. I physically feel exhausted doing any task, I force myself to go to work, every day I am in work I hide in the toilet and cry. I walk home from work and cry, I feel pain in my chest because I am so sick of crying and feeling so lost all the time. I am now taking diazepam that my mum has given me to try and subdue the emotions, but now i feel floppy and depressed. I can't sleep at night and when I do I have horrible nightmares about my partner killing me etc. 

I don't know what to do anymore, i get angry at everything and everyone, i can't stand the world i am in, it's a horrible place. I am losing all hope to keep going, I don't want to go to the doctor, i will only be prescribed more anti depressants; i just can't take anymore. I have been suffering from depression since my teenage years ( maybe 14/15) I have seen psychatrists and councelors but nothing helps. the last psychatrist i seen diagnosed me with emotionally unstable personality disorder and let me go, i was left with that and don't know what to make of it. she said i was too unwell to go with further appointments as it would be too much for me to deal with. i feel like every day is too much for me, i feel full of emotion and its so strong i just don't know how to deal with all these negative feelings. i just don't know what to do anymore, i feel like taking all the diazepam i have and going to sleep and never waking up. i could go on and on and on about how i feel, even as i write this i am crying. i just want everything to be ok, but it's never been ok. i'm sorry if this is all over the place, i'm just not sure what i'm doing anymore

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9 Replies

  • Posted

    I really feel for you I really do I think the first step is to change your gp I had a doctor like yours it sound like you were on the wrong antidepressant there are many out there and what works for one person doesn't work for another you need to tell your doctor you have been taken the diazepam and how much this is a drug that most doctors never put you on because it's highly addictive and chronic to come off stay strong and seek medical advice
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  • Posted

    i know what you mean on the withdrawls.i myself have been off of it forfour months?how long have you been withdrawling?i also done a four day tapper.all i know its the hardest thing i have done in my life.i was on it for 17years
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  • Posted

    I'm so sorry to hear how your feeling but believe me your not alone. I was on meds for 32 years and nothing helped so was put on venlafaxine as my doc said it was good for treatment resistant depression but like you I became a zombie. I tapered off over the course of a year and still went through withdrawals from hell. It's been 2 months off them now and I'm feeling like the walking dead my depression and anxiety is worse I am exhausted all the time and am not interested in anything I can't go to work anymore I just can't cope with it. I was diagnosed with personality disorder as well but I think that is rubbish. It's really hard but all we can do is struggle on and hope and pray that we get better
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    • Posted

      how have you been doing?i am still depressed so bad i had to go back in the hospital.how long is this stuff going to last.i cant take much more of the withdrawing.it does leave you feeling really depressed.what time lines are you getting
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  • Posted

    Hi I agree with Dinkydoo, change your GP and then get another referral to another psyciatrist, What was that one thinking, You need help and they are suppose to help you, not turn you away with an excuse like that. When I was taken ill last year I went into a very deep depression and my GP put me on PROZAC 20mg One a day, I feel so much better and now weening mtself off of them. But 30yrs ago I suffered servere depression and Anxiety for around 8 yrs. I was under a psyciatrist and psycologist, and I had a complete nervous break down in 1984. Back then I was on a drug called MARPLAN and it made me feel like you do now. But I knew for my famiies sake I had to get better, I had 3 young children to think of. Well I did, I weened myself off the drug and started meditation classes, then started college and became a qualified spiritual healer and a qualified Reflexologist, also did Indian massaging. and REIKI. I do get my bad days, but I have learned to deal with them with meditation. If you can my advice is think about seeing a spiritual healer, you will be suprise how they can help.xx
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  • Posted

    Thanks to everyone repying. I think I have been off them since New year (I done this because i knew i'd have a few days off work)

     i have been on countless anti depressants, citalopram, sertraline and prozac (can't remember the generic name) 

    i found that prozac was the worst, i was on them for around a month and felt extremely suicidal it was after sertraline i was then put on venlafaxine. There was a gap between Sertraline and going on venlafaxine as i felt better, but then things got worse; i was in a motorcycle crash, then my gran died and i lost my buisness, so I went to my gp and they prescribed venlafaxine, it worked probably for around the first year but i started to realise i no longer enjoyed things i had in the past; my job requires me to be creative and i was really struggling to be creative. my mind drew blanks.

    Now even after coming off them i still feel the same, every day i think to myself "is this ever going to end?"

    last year i was assaulted and my jaw was broken and it felt like a final straw for me and felt i had no hope left, i feel anytime i leave the house i just can't wait to get back home, being around other people make me feel anxious and angry, even something as simple as someone sitting behind me on the bus, i just want to be invisible and dissapear in to nothing. 

    i'm worried if i get reffered to another psychatrist that i may be admitted in to hospital as it has been mentioned once before, but i always play down my emotions to doctors for fear of being sectioned. If I get sectioned I won't get sick pay since I am self employed, i feel so stuck.

    i would like to go to classes but the though of leaving the house other than for work just makes me feel exhausted and anxious. i can't ever remember a time that i felt "normal" and happy.

    ---

    as a side note to others coming off venlafaxine, it helped me majorly by taking fish oil and take 2 paracetamol 4 times a day to help with the brain zaps.

    every day felt like a hangover, it does get better around the 8/9 day mark. I did feel like giving in and taking my tablets again but i felt like i didn't want to go through all that pain for nothing. I did have to go to the hospital about 5 days in because i wasn't eating and the brain zaps were getting worse, the doctor at the hospital was no help at all, i felt like i was wasting their time as if i was making it all up, but i can't stress enough how bad the withdrawls are.

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    • Posted

      Just to add aswell, I was vomiting a couple of times every other day and having panic attacks every day. I think these are normal symptoms of withdrawl, so expect the worse but remember it does eventually get better. 

      I don't have panic attacks as often, i do feel them coming on but the vomiting has stopped now

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  • Posted

    No you do not get withdrawal symptoms if you taper slowly from Venlafaxine.  I have done it both ways.  Got bad withdrawals when I stopped cold turkey, but none at all when I tapered really slowly.  I am evidence of that, and I am an old lady. 

    Venlafaxine seems to be good for some people and not for others.  For instance Prozac was the worse anti depressant I ever took, and the side effects were appaling, wheras Venlafaxine was the best I ever took and helped me a lot.  Shows we are all different, and what suits one person, does not suit another.  When I stopped cold turkey the depression returned, whereas this time, when I tapered slowly, it is 17 months since I stopped and depression has not returned. 

    I take lots of supplements, and am determined not to go back on anti depressants, which I was on for over 20 years. 

    I have seen numerous counsellors and psychiatrists, but in the end we have to struggle on. 

    Take care, and keep in touch.  I really want to support you, but don't know how to help.  I am here if you want to talk. 

    I have been low like you, and in despair and not wanting to go on.  Many people here feel the same.  I am doing OK, but there were times I thought I could never go on as life too difficult.  I am still here 20 years later. 

    Keep battling.

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  • Posted

    I am trying to quit my antidepressant (different one) When symptoms got worse i took half my dose.Also you may try 5ht supplements.My doctor told me to take those but my symptoms aren't as violent as yours.If i am not wrong diazepams are more addictive than antidepressants so you may try 5ht instead of that.I will try that if i don't get better.I hope you got better.
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