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my boyfriend and i got in a fight around 2 months ago that hurt us both very much. the two days after that i over analyzed, googled and thoughts about it so much. i started getting questions about my love and felt really depressed for about a week. i had unwanted suicidal thoughts, i cried a lot, couldnt stop thinking about how i felt, etc.. i experienced a few panic attacks that were horrible and sucked everything out of me. i diagnosed myself with bipolar depression, major depression, OCD, GAD, and many more things. i feel disconnected and disattatched from everyone and my surroundings. sometimes i look at my boyfriend i know i love him and other days i cry because i feel that i dont love him. ive never felt like this before and i am extremly scared that i wont go back to the way i was before. i was happy, optimistic, free and extremely in love with my boyfriend. i knew he was the one but i havent felt that was in 2 months and im scared. i want to feel like i felt before because im also not happy in my life. i just started going to therapy a week ago and she told me im having acute symptoms of of anxiety and depression. i dont remember what its like to feel normal and am very scared. i should probably also mention that when i was little my dad left my mom and they got divorced in an awful way, and idk if i ever got over it but i didnt seem to care. any help or words of advice help, thank you
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