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i have suffered with depression since my mum killed herself in 2008 i was on i think 20mg citalopram i dont have friends as i dont go out im up to anywhere from 2am-7am in the morning and i dont eat well at all recently i was working i was depressed in work but i had to deal with it for my daughters sake but then i got made redundant lost my partner who is the mother of my child and im basically homeless i really want to die but im scared of death and the fact i have a daughter is the only 2 reasons i have not ended my life
i dont dont like speaking to people i try to avoid doing anything am i just lazy? hence the reason i have been looking online for online doctors rather than going to my own doctor i really hate going shopping i try to get my ex partner to get me bits and bobs and prefer to order a take-away when i have an appetite witch i cant afford to buy as i dont work anymore im sick of the jobcentre of all places i was on esa but got declined in the medical and just pretend im looking for work (sometime's i do look when im in the mood but overtimes im either to down or to stressed) i am insecure about the way i look im paranoid (i dont do any illegal drugs) i think everyone is looking at me people had made mug remarks about my ears due to the fact they stick out (wish i could get them pinned but i wont asked my doctor in fear of him saying no or just its another problem to deal with) i just really need help and advice i have not took citalopram for about 2-3 years (due to the fact i dont want to as thats what my mother killed herself with) im online all the time i find it makes me forget about everything in my life i just really dont know what to do anymore i really just need help but i dont want to ask in person as i stated many times i hate confrontations i dont even bother with my family i see them like once every 6 month ( i just need help please from anyone )
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