Depression help (ashamed to ask in public)

Posted , 7 users are following.

Over the past four months it seems to be constantly a up hill struggle for me. I have lost all my confidence both at home and at work. Feel as if every thing I do is wrong. Feel ashamed to talk about it even here. I'm 34 married with two sons. My family is everything to me but I even feel as if I am letting them down. I'm lost now and I don't know where to turn to. The ashamed feeling is the worst part, even here its hard to say all this.

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  • Posted


    It's difficult to talk about these kinds of things sometimes, right? I've definitely had feelings of shame, and also feeling like nothing I do is right.

    How do you think you'd feel talking to a professional about some of the things you are dealing with? For me it was definitely an overwhelming first move, and it's absolutely okay if it's not something you feel would be particularly helpful to you at this time. As you've said, even talking about it on here is hard for you, but do you feel that talking it out is something that you'd find helpful or even something that you'd like to be able to do if you didn't feel ashamed?

    For now just know that you're always welcome here to share your thoughts and feelings.

    Take care.

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  • Posted

    Oh honey I know how hard it can be to talk. But well done for taking the first step!! That is incredible. Today is the first part of your journey to recovery.

    In all honesty it sounds like you may be a little depressed. And the best way to recover from depression is to have a good support group, so the more people you are able to tell, the better. Don't shout it out to the whole world obviously but talking to your wife about it would be a good idea if you can manage it. Also talking to your GP would be amazing as they will be able to offer you some practical help.

    I want you to know that feeling like this is completely normal, and it isn't something to feel ashamed about. Would you feel ashamed if you broke your leg? No? Then why is this so bad? I think it is sad that we live in a world that tell us anything less than perfect isn't good enough.

    It may take some time for you to be able to tell people... and that is okay!! Don't rush yourself. I am not sure what country you live in, but most countries have numbers you can call for help and support. In the UK we have Samaritans, for example, that have a number you can call 24/7 and just talk to someone. Maybe call that number?

    Also if you are on Facebook there are lots of support groups you can call and even on here we are here for you 100%.

    The way you feel... you aren't alone. It doesn't make you any less of a man. In fact, it proves how strong you are, because you are coping with it and speaking out about it. The more people that are brave enough to do what you have just done, the more we can tackle the stigma.

    Sorry for the long rambling message, basically what I wanted to say is that you are not alone, there is support and help available, and we are here for you. I should have just written that really!

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  • Posted

    Hi Andy, I was in denial for months trying to convince myself I wasn’t depressed rather just stressed, however started feeling felt flat and fatigued with the feeling of absolute hopelessness and I thought I was never going to find happiness. With many people depression comes in many mysterious ways I had lots of anxiety and less depression and once anxiety calmed down depression reared its head and I would avoid anything family, friends activities and basically struggle day to day. There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed off this illness affects 1-5 people so keep your chin up things are going to get better hang in there!! Go and see your doctor and tell him/her everything let them check you out they may consider an anti-depressant which is quite normal as until I was prescribed anti-depressants I had a tough time self-helping with various cognitive strategies now 15 weeks down I feel normal again. Get the help you need my man so you can enjoy the life you loved. 
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  • Posted

    Just starting to talk about a huge step you've have taken and that's speaking from bitter experience. As others have said don't be ashamed it sounds that your problems started about the same time as mine..I have found coming on here a great source of comfort and relief being able to open up to people. I wish you and your family well on this difficult journey.
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  • Posted

    Maybe you've had enough, doing things to not let people down, or not dissapoint them. When you force your mind to work in a certain way, in your case to value yourself over what others see in you, that is counter the nature of your body-mind, and without knowing why u start to feel bad. Knowing that u dont need the confirmation of others to do something or you dont need any reason to do something, will make you feel more continuos, not just going from one task to the other, being so bored. As you surrender to your true inner desires, and look at them, you have to ignore what comes next, a million reasons bombard the brain to not let you do what you want. Let your actions be reasonless. I know that the society calls them "crazy". But thats because they dont have enough intelligence to understand freedom. Doing everything according to your reason and to what others find likable, will slowly kill you from the inside. Remember that feeling of being alive when you were a kid. Well you never thought you could lose it right? Here we are many of us have even forgotten how it feels like to be alive, and it happened to me to. Until a man who tried to rob me, shot me with a gun 5 times but none of that hit me, showed me again after so many years, and damn that was the point when i started seeking life rather then peace and comfort in my remaining years. Embrace what you have NOW, cuz if you don't you never will, the flow of life never stops, you can either become part of it, by flowing with it in every moment, or you can die, while still breathing, as most of humanity is.

    But that will change I promise you this, you and everyone will be alright again, like we should have always been.

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