Depression is unbearable

Posted , 5 users are following.

I’m running out of options, I’m not sure where to turn to anymore.

I’ve had depression and anxiety for about 7 years now, progressively getting worse over the years.

I’ve been on various antidepressants and medication for anxiety, some working for a while and then back to square one. 

I lost my Nan to cancer a few months ago, and since then my depression has been at an all time low. I have suicidal thoughts, I’m so on edge all of the time, can hardly breathe and constantly crying. I’ve had various counselling over the years, but the most recent has just signed me off abruptly and left me feeling even more hopeless. I’ve told doctors about suicidal thoughts but I just get given emergency numbers, which quite frankly I’m never going to ring.

I’m really struggling to see a way forward. My friends never know what to say and I don’t want to put anymore stress on my mum, who also suffers with depression and is grieving for my Nan. I feel so so alone.

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  • Posted

    Hi leah94453

    We note from a recent post which you have made to our forum that you may be experiencing thoughts around self-harm. If we have misinterpreted your comments then we apologise for contacting you directly. But if you are having such thoughts then please note that you are not alone in this, and there are people out there that can help.

    If you are having these suicidal thoughts then we strongly recommend you speak to someone who may be able to help. The Samaritans offer a safe space where you can talk openly about what you are going through. They can help you explore your options, understand your problems better, or just be there to listen.

    Their contact details are on our patient information leaflet here:, which also offers lots of other advice on how you can access the help you may need.

    If you are having such thoughts then please do reach out to the team at the Samaritans (or the other people detailed in our leaflet) who will understand what you're going through and will be able to help.

    Kindest regards


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  • Posted

    Hello, it sounds as though your medication hasnt never been properly sorted, or perhaps your depression has got worse. Im not much of a fan of counselling, as afterwards, are you going to remember any advice, or have the discipline to follow it? I do strongly believe in medication though. Its a question of finding the right one, which can be difficult and take a long time. I saw a gp earlier this year, started on citalopram, as my old one stopped working , and got in the worse anxiety and depression ive ever had. From people on this and other forums, ive realised that gp's dont have much of an idea what to do, if the first couple of anti depressants dont work. The few i saw certainly didnt. I paid for a private referral for a pysc, saw him within 2 weeks, and the anti depressant he recommended, venlafaxin is now working very well. Nothing in my life has changed, its exactly the same, but i get by, have some optimism, and im still improving. You need to compile a list of the medications you have been on, the doses you were taking, whether they helped slightly or not, how long you took them for. This will help narrow down the next anti depressant to try, for the person asessing and recommending for you.There is a sort of procedure to follow, gps should use it, and physcs do use, when choosing the next anti depressant to try. Which anti depressants have you tried? If you can afford it, a pysc diagnosis and recommendation, is much more likely to find the right anti depressant for you. One that will work well for you is out there, its a question of finding it, which can take a lot of time. That detailed anti depressant history i mentioned, is really important. It will show up any errors in the past, anything missed, and give a better pointer as to which one you should try next.

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  • Posted

    I on the other hand am a big believer in counselling and I think it could be beneficial for you to have some.  I don't know which country you are in so can't advise how to get it but visiting your doctor could be a good idea.  x

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