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I'm 70 years old (having a hard time with that) and have had depression for most of my adult life. Have been on antidepressants more or less continuously since I was 30, and for most of that time they have worked really well - enabling me to have a successful career, move from the US to the UK, get married and have a child (who is now 30). I had to come off the meds that were most helpful (imipramine, a TCA), because after all those years I started having severe gastric side effects. Nearly 4 years ago I went on to citalopram, which seemed to be working ok for a while. Then 18 months ago I got adult whooping cough and was ill for 2 months; it was a nightmare. It's been downhill ever since. My mood flip-flopped for months. Then last summer I started experiencing severe, scary anxiety symptoms - palpitations, sweats, unable to eat or sleep, fear in the pit of my stomach... The GP said I couldn't go on to a higher dose of citalopram (I was on 20mg) because of my age, so she switched me to 50mg sertraline. Eventually I saw a psychiatrist as well, who upped the dose to 100mg and added 300mg pregabalin. There were 8 or 10 weeks of hell (feeling sick, depersonalisation, sleep problems...) before all the meds finally kicked in - but gradually they did, and I was fine for a few months. Then about 6 weeks ago I could feel things sliding down again. I've never ever had another downturn so soon after recovering from one. I'm now seeing an NHS psychiatrist every 3 mos (I paid to see someone privately last summer). He upped my sertraline to 150mg, which made me feel so sick that I had to take the dose back down. I'm now trying 150mg every other day. I feel bleak, low, scared, and wondering why, after so many relatively stable years, I am now having these crashes so close together. I am struggling to find the motivation to do anything at all, much less the kind of active, creative life I used to have. And my poor husband is struggling as well. I do see a therapist, who is great - but I am wondering if this is how it has to be for the rest of my life? Has anyone experience anything similar?
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