Depression won't leave me

Posted , 3 users are following.

Hi, this is the first time I write in any forum like this. I have suffered from depression for quite a while, it goes and then something pull the trigger and I get depressed again. I was on theraphy for almost 3 years (psychologist no meds) 3 years ago. My last breakdown was when my fiance left me 5 months ago. We were due to get married this may. As the date comes closer is harder for me to keep going. While I was with him I must say I was very happy even though I have my normal blue days. However since he left me I have been so lost. I started theraphy again (now psychiatric) and for the first time I am doing some meds fluoxetine and clonazepam. I feel hopeless. During the week I dont do so bad as I work and try to go to the gym, but weekends are dreadful. I sleep most of thems. I havent seen or talk to any of my friends since the wedding was cancel. I am still very heartbroken, ashamed and embarrassed. I only speak to member of my family whom I have no choice but to talk to them as I see them everyday. The rest I have no contact. I changed my mobile number and close all my social media accounts.

I only wish to sleep and dont wake up again.

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6 Replies

  • Posted

    That really sucks that your fiance left you but there are plenty of fish in the sea, don't cry over someone who isn't crying over you just keep moving forward. You said you go the gym, that is one of the best things you can do just keep pushing yourself and get them GAAAINNS!!! You should definitely reconnect with your friends/family because they will help the best they can smile When i was younger i was extremely depressed and wanted to end my life so bad because i was weak tbh i still feel depressed but not as bad. I started smoking weed at a young age too and was stupid with it (I still smoke weed legally) but it did help me i'm not saying drugs are the answer but i give an exception to canabis because if you learn a few things about the government you will know what i mean wink I had a lot of things holding me back as a kid, i grew up in a poor household surrounded my drugs and violence my mom was crazy and my dad was never really around, I'm also Asian and living in a predominantly "Black" and "Latino"  neighborhood was rough i didn't have many friends and i was very skinny thx genetics! the bottom line is you can't let anyone or anything hold you back, it doesn't matter how hard you can hit but how hard you can get hit.
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    • Posted

      You seemed to lived lots of things while young, however even if they is plenty of fish in the sea when you love one you dont care about the rest. It might sound silly but that is how I feel. I know time heals but it feels like forever already.

      Thanks for your reply and I hope you are living you life to the top

      I am latina btw haha

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  • Posted

    try not to isolate yourself from living. Try and enjoy the little things in life and not worry about major things that are upsetting you. Sorry you are upset and I hope that you feel more up to things soon.


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  • Posted

    You have been through such a bad time and I can relate to it.

    Take it from someone who knows first hand dont push people away I did and have regretted it everyday for 20 years.

    This is a new start in your life it wont happen overnight but day by day you will get stronger and happier

    Stay Strongcool

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    • Posted

      Hi...thanks for your reply. I am sorry you can relate with what I am living, is such a bad place. I know I will regret pushing people away but I can't handle just yet be around my friends and family. Hopefully with time I will feel confident again.


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