Destroying my life

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I'm new here and needed to talkto people that can relate to my life right now. First I had my first panic attack after drinking too much pre workout about 4 months ago. Now I believe I have health anxiety because I constly think there is something medically wrong with me. I am just wondering if anyone else has thoughts that they're gonna go blind? I constly have eye strain or dry eyes but with anxeity it seems everything is amplified x100, I get thoughts I might loose my mind or I am going crazy, also my biggest one is my heart and breathing. I'm in and out of ER's left and right, I have seen two ophthalmologist for my eyes and have both said the same thing I have dry eyes and I'm not going to go blind but that doesn't stop the feeling sensations when I panic nor the thoughts. I have had about 10 EKG's on me and blood work and have said my heart is fine, is this just anxeity!? Thanks in advance for the replies.

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  • Posted

    I know how you feel. Lately my right eye has been acting up really weird and I feel like I'm going blind. At night after looking at my phone or a tv my right eye sees darker than my left and it's like I'm temporarily blind from it for about 10 minutes and then I see the same on both. Went to the eye doctor on Friday and he did a full eye exam and even dilated my eyes and he says everything looks fine and normal. Now he referred me to an ophthalmologist to get an ERG done cause he thinks I could have a disease that will make me go blind or something. This has made my anxiety go crazy!!!! He says if not its just a symptom of anxiety. But now that I have that stuck in my head I constantly think I can't see and that I'm going blind. I'm in the dark as I type this and I feel like I'm seeing darker than I'm suppose to and I'm already going blind and it scares me. So no you're not alone. He wants to test me for that so we can be sure it's anxiety so I hope it is. Health anxiety is the worst rolleyes
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    • Posted

      Hey lanabananakins. Well I hope everything works out for you at the ophthalmologist, and it's just your anxiety playing on your fear. I've seen two of them and still think there is something wrong with my eyes, when most of my symptoms are dry eyes which they told I have but I always get that panic feeling sensation about to go blind sad.

      Health anxiety is the worst, because I get over one thing and a new issue rises.

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  • Posted

    Hi Smokenjoe,

    It sounds like your anxiety is just building and building and you are coming up with catastrophies over things that are not ever going to happen.

    I used to think in exacly the same way as you, thought I was going to loose my mind all the time, worried about my heart, I even when to the optomitrist to check I wasnt going blind......amongst many other things.

    Firstly, anxiety causes all senses to be hightened- it is natural, a defense mechanism so that if you are in real danger, you can see your 'enemy' better and run faster etc, hense why your vision feel different, because it is, there is adrenaline being pumped into your eyes so to speak. But this will pass once the anxiety does. 

    You will not loose your mind- nobody who has ever thought they are going to loose there mind ever do, people who become psychotic have no idea that they are psychotic, so the very fact that you are worried you will loose your mind means that you are in fact definetly sane- just very scared.

    The heart and breathing being different is again a symptom of anxiety, your body is in fight or flight, so your heart beats faster in order to get more blood and oxygen to your limbs to prepare you to fight. And breaths become shallow usually, so that you are prepared to run at any second, without your lungs suddnely retracting and getting damaged.

    This is all anxiety, I promise you. However, I know it will be very hard for you to believe, because anxiety is very powerful, it tricks your mind very easily.   The more scared you get the more you believe the catastrophies your mind creates! You need to remind yourself, that you are safe!! 

    Basically, there are two selves, the rational, thinking, calm intelligent self and then the child like self, who is scared, irrational and panicks and thinks things that are not true------ you need to talk from this rational self, to the irrational childlike self in order to convince the childlike self that you are safe. Once you make this connection, the anxiety will dissipate and you will feel safe again- Look into inner child therapy. Its very helpful in combating anxiety.

    Another thing, there is the sympathetic and the parasympathetic nervous system. The sympathetic is the one in charge of fight and flight and releasing adrenaline and anxiety, the parasymathetic is the one that is active when you are calm. You need to passify the sympathetic nervous system........ 

    Some ways you can do this - eat healthy (cut out sugar, it really does make a big difference).

    - no caffine, caffine activates the sympathetic nervous system and anxiety.

    - Cut out alcohol

    -exercise a lot - exercising helps use up the excess adrenaline in your body, so it helps to stop the horrible train of thoughts.

    Finally, and most importatntly, especially in my recovery, was learning Trancendenta Meditation. It completely relaxes your body and mind, meaning for the 20 minutes you are doing it, your irrational thoughts become passified, and they are replaced by rationality, it really was incredibly profound in my recovery and I believe is the best treatement available for anxiety.

    Also, find a therapist to work with, although this isnt nessasary, it helps a lot.

    Good luck. 

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    • Posted

      Hey Chris thanks for the reply, it really put my mind at ease. It's amazing that you and I had similar symptoms and you over came yours or in a way better place than I am right now, it gives me a lot of hope. At times I get so beaten down it feels like there is no way out....

      My panic attacks have gotten so bad now I have to take a .5 mg lorazepam to counter the attack because I can no longer get it under control, and now when I get these attacks it feels like I can't get any air and I start to hyperventilate which is the worse.

      I will try many of the things you have suggested starting today. It's that I just will have to battle that fear I have with my heart and eyes are my main things right now, hopefully I can have an out come like you. Thank you for the motivation and knowledge you provided, now I must use this ammunition for battle smile

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  • Posted

    Hi Smokenjoeee many years ago I had a panic attack after my friend thinking she was helping me out when I was feeling fatigued gave me an iron tablet, it started my heart racing so fast I thought I would die - I didn't realise it then but I was so terrified it would happen again it kicked of a sort of phobia where I became obsessed about my health - like you are. The only way you will get over it is to face it head on recognise it for what it is and with a little time and patience it will go away as mine did. I remember during that awful time having such a bad panic attack - phobia bringing it on my doctor put me in hospital and I was hooked up to a heart monitor for the week-end. All years ago now well over it as you will be very soon, bought on by fear it's all in the mind and you will soon learn how to control it.

    Stay strong.

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