Diary Leading up to Surgery
Posted , 5 users are following.
Hi All,
If this topic is unacceptable to the moderators (being that it's not a question per se), I'm happy for this thread to be deleted. I've been pining for a couple of days whether I should write a brief diary or not as I lead up to my surgery on Monday. I just wanted to express my thoughts on this whole experience for my and others' benefit so that those who wish to relate to these feelings can do so.
My situation, as some on this forum may know from some of my previous posts, is that I'm in my early 50's with a cataract in my left eye. My right eye is more or less cataract-free and nearsighted. I noticed my vision slowly deteriorating in my left eye (or maybe I was just becoming more progressively aware of it) over the past couple of years. With that has come a bit of depression, a loss of confidence, and overall frustration at not being able to see well in dim light (or any light). It really snuck up on me. I found myself wiping my glasses more frequently thinking I was clearing off the "fog", and oftentimes wondered if I just needed a new prescription. It came as a shock nevertheless when I found out it was a cataract and I was told it might have developed as a result of the use of steroid nasal sprays that I had used at various times in the past. I'll probably never know for sure if that's true or not. It has been taking me some time to adjust psychologically to the notion of having a piece of plastic inserted into my eye. I feel that some intimate part of me is being taken away, and indeed that is literally the case. Virtually everything I've experienced in my life has passed through the cloudy lens my surgeon is going to take out next Monday the 19th with a phacoemulsification machine. It's a bit weird to think it that way perhaps, but I do. Being a rather analytical person, I've been doing all sorts of research (as many of you have been doing as well) in an effort to both understand the process and, through that understanding, to ease some of the fear of the procedure itself, however safe and effective it is statistically speaking. I've been to the NHS (I'm an American but live in the UK), a chain clinic, and a couple of private clinics. I've tried to find the best surgeon I can, read the reviews, checked out YouTube videos, etc.
I've opted to go with a mono-focal lens in that left eye, set for distance, with the hope that I might be able to cope on the extreme side of a mono-vision strategy (2 diopter difference approximately). I figure with my right eye I can either use it as is for close reading, or either put a contact lens in that eye or do a laser correction if I have trouble tolerating the mono-vision. I don't feel I need to be completely spectacle free, but I would like to go "generally" about my day without glasses. My father, who is in his upper 80's) had both his eyes done a few months ago with mono-focals set for distance and he tells me he hardly ever wears glasses anymore. What a great feeling it will be to see clearly again, assuming all goes well. I feel optimistic and nervous at the same time.
Can anyone out there relate to this? What kind of research have you done? Are/Were you confident of a good outcome? Is it a big thing for you in your mind? or do you have a "business as usual" mindset with no worries? Would be interesting to hear your experiences as well.
G
0 likes, 27 replies
Sue.An indygeo
Posted
I can totally relate to your feelings. I think we have posted back and forth a couple of times on these forums. On a personal level I was blindsided by the diagnosis of cataracts at 53. I too was wiping my glasses thinking they were scratched or dirty. But I began to have a feeling in the pit of my stomach something was wrong. I had trouble reading a road sign until I was on top of it and street names - forget it. Heavily relied on GPS in unfamiliar territory. My daughter plays triple A soccer (football in UK) and I could not distinguish her from other players - couldn’t even read jerseys numbers from the stands. I recall going to a movie and there were subtitles in parts and couldn’t read those either. Felt lonely inside and very worried something was wrong. Felt disoriented too in large department and grocery stores. I waited till Jan 2017 to see my optometrist (new health plan year for work benefits). She took longer than usual for preliminary tests and had me wait before going into her office. She did some visual tests - learned I was also seeing vertical lines double. Then the C word came up and I felt like the wind was knocked out of me. Not even my parents have cataracts so how can this be. I had several months before I could see an opthamologist so that’s when I turned to the Internet and found this forum and other sites for information.
Won’t go into details on my decision- most of its posted here on these forums. But I was very scared of the procedure - felt like I was on a conveyor belt and couldn’t get off. That feeling never went away and I was still just as nervous for 2nd surgery. My surgeon had me take an Ativan both times. I was only one in waiting area that had that. He does upwards of 20 surgeries in a day. He just freezes the eye and you are fully awake for the whole surgery. It surprisingly doesn’t hurt - going to the dentist hurts more. The first consult with my surgeon he looked at my hand and noticed my eczema and said there is a link between it and early cataracts due to steroid creams. I also use the nasal sprays and at one time in my early 30s had to go on prednisone. (No one tells you the side effects of those can be cataracts.)
The night before my surgery last July I recall sitting out front staring at the sky and the moon taking it in that it was the last time I would see these with my natural eyes. Perhaps everyone feels this way like you do. Something personal being ripped away and replaced by something artificial.
Thanks for sharing your story. These forums have been more than sharing of information. There is something about shared experiences.
You will get through this - really there is a high success rate. I think more people find these forums after something goes sideways so there are more unhappy stories than positive ones - but there are a few of us who found the site as by nature we are curious and want to make best informed decision possible. Most of those have written about their positive results - me included.
Wish you all the best on the 19th - let us know how you make out. Will pray for your surgery on that date.
I had exact same surgery as you (not laser assisted or with ORA) so if you have any questions about it would be happy to share.
indygeo Sue.An
Posted
Thanks so much Sue.An.. indeed we have corresponded on here. It's been so reassuring getting to know you and knowing that our experiences, ages, and more are so similar. I know what you mean about feeling lonely and that there is/was something wrong. It has been eating at me for quite some time...this loss of confidence.. an inner voice saying "I can't" instead of "I can." I've been having this sense of "limitations" as to what I could take on. I've been measured in my commitments. Thank you again for relating.
G
Sue.An indygeo
Posted
Most going through this aren’t working full time and looking after a child. That seems to bring an added feeling of there’s a lot at stake.
Once on the other side though you gain that confidence back. It takes a while. I still ‘test’ out the eyes comparing one with the other. I enjoy watching those soccer matches now. So happy that the field’s floodlights are normal. Was thinking I would see the concentric circles around each of them and it would ruin the match for me. There’s s fellow that has a blog online - one of the first in UK to get Symfony lenses - believe his name is Will. He opted for these lenses in his 40s just to rid himself of glasses. He was helpful in describing the night halos and what to expect.
indygeo Sue.An
Posted
Sue.An Interesting that you've found that most people going through this are not working full time and have a child. That is indeed the case with me. I've been out of work for about 2 years because of this issue (without really knowing this was the issue), and also in some part due to parental illness reasons. I also have a small child. So yes, there's a lot at stake and I'm concerned about how I might explain this gap. I mean, I'll of course tell the truth, but I'm just concerned if an interviewer will take it on board or not. So this "diary" will, maybe, be interesting from that standpoint as well for some people as they may be facing that employer question too.
Again, thanks for your post!
G
derek40125 indygeo
Posted
Please post your diary covering both before and after surgery. The "before" is also important especially if you are considering different IOL options as your research and thought process may help someone in the future who's grappling with the same issues (it did for me).
Most surgeons have a very limited time to spend with their patients and there just isn't enough time to ask all the questions that will come into your head. Although everyone's experiences will be unique, there are many things in common and it's just helpful and reassuring to hear about personal experiences compared to journals and advertisements. This is especially true because people here will answer you.
indygeo derek40125
Posted
Hi derek, Yes, I will.. I'll post both before and after surgery. I really should have made more clear that was my intention. The thread subject line is misleading in that respect for sure. For the reason pointed out by Sue.An (i.e. there's a skewed tendency for the 'sideways' stories to hit this forum) I hope to serve as a more or less "random data point".
I totally "get" what you're saying about how surgeons have so little time to spend with each individual client. Mine seem rather rushed the day I saw him and although he's been reasonably good at returning emails, I nevertheless find myself not getting complete answers. By complete I mean, answers that address probabilities and the "strategy map" (i.e. if this goes wrong... then what, etc). At some level I'm throwing my hands up to it because, as I mentioned in my initial post, I've been to something like 4 different sources either in person or through a phone consultation. I've also been in touch via text with a friend of a friend who is, in fact, a cataract surgeon. But this person is located in Turkey, so it was a long shot that I would actually utilize him. However, he was kind to answer a few of my questions and confirm my mono-vision strategy. I realise, too, they are busy people and at some level I have to stop being my own ophthalmologist. There's a line at which I tend to defer to their professional judgment. I also don't think they want to overcommit as they are trying to manage expectations.
Thanks for your post. What are some of the things you're grappling with? What is your situation? Feel free to add to this thread if you wish. Cheers.
G
indygeo
Posted
So here it is, one more day and I'm pleased to see a few responses. I've been telling my little girl lately that "Daddy's getting a new eye on Monday." I do this in part because she finds it kind of funny and it makes her laugh each and every time I say it. I also do it so that if someday she needs some procedure done, whatever it may be, she won't be afraid because she's seen me go through it. I don't let on that I'm actually a bit nervous.
I'm trying to visualize (no pun intended) how it's going to go. I do this as I'm walking around town. I can barely keep my eye open for 20 seconds at a time, let alone the 5 to 15 minutes required for the surgery. I always have to blink, as you do, to clear wind or little dust particles that hit the eye every day. And even though I know local anaesthesia is administered and they put some kind of thing on the eye to keep it open, I still can't quite get my head around having my eye open for that length of time without blinking. So I practice as I'm walking around.."Hmm, let's see how long I can keep my left eye open without blinking."
I'm still waiting for a "pack" they said they were going to send me in the post. I hope it arrives today. I think it has some instructions and maybe a prescription for some drops in it...I'm not sure. I'm the kind of person who likes to get ahead of the curve. I don't like being rushed at the last minute. For example, I like to pack suitcases for a trip the night before rather than the morning of the trip. I like to get to the airport with plenty of time to spare, etc. Same goes for receiving everything I need for this surgery to go smoothly. I want to get that pack, understand it, and then on Monday arrive in plenty of time.
Now, maybe some of us have seen YouTube videos of these cataract procedures. That's a funny thing in itself. I started out telling myself "Oh, what's the point...I'm not going to watch those videos... I really don't wanna know what goes on. I just know these surgeries are really successful...that's all I need to know." And then this part of me just has to see them....I started with one that showed, in cartoonish graphical form, how it all works. This floating scalpel (in the video) makes a cut, then the phacoemulsification gizmo goes in and breaks up the cataract, then something sucks it all out. From those style of videos I "graduated" to the more graphic ones showing real eyes, real surgeries. Oh, then .. yes, why not check out some of the ones where something went wrong? A capsular bag tear... repaired. Whew, good!
I say now that when the day comes I'll be fine...and I hope that's the case. I've had panic attacks before but they have always been around claustrophobic situations like small planes. I just can't do small jets. As long as I'm able to breathe well, I'll be fine I think. Looking forward to better vision.. that's what I need to keep my eye on.
G
Sue.An indygeo
Posted
Yes watched the videos too as at one point I did want to know to prepare myself. In Canada we have the procedure done at the hospitals. So we are given a time and wait with about 25 others and every 15 minutes next patient goes in. Nurse came out periodically to put drops in our eyes (these sting - worse than surgery) to dialate the eyes. It is very quick. More time to prep you than for the actual lens replacement procedure. I read on the forums some have an IV for conscious sedation but my surgeon freezes the eye - that is it. He did instruct me at one point to remain very still. There is no pain at all - just feel a bit of pressure. I thought at one point all would go dark as my natural lens was sucked away but you stare up at 3 bright reddish pink lights and that view never changes throughout process. For first eye I actually saw the rings of the Symfony Lens as it was implanted (didn’t for 2nd one). I recall asking the surgeon if what I was seeing was the lens and he confirmed it was.
They taped a plastic eye guard with tiny holes in it for air to pass and asked me to keep it on 2 hours after surgery and tape it on whenever I took a nap (instructions for seniors as I rarely nap) and at night for a week to prevent eye rubbing.
I am not sure if I am the norm or not but I was able to see very well next day. Back to the hospital next day for 24 hour post op
With surgeon (with same group as previous day). One by one before seeing surgeon we do the eye test with an attendant. We could all watch one another and chatted - comparing experiences. They were most amazed I could see all distances. For some they didn’t even know there were lens options and one poor lady had no clue that the procedure involved removal of natural lens! Guess we are all different and Derek is right surgeons are far too busy to spend time explaining much to their patients. Likely most are satisfied - and none the wiser. It was only thinking back that I realized my being on these forums and researching led me to ask about lens options when I had initial consult. He was carefully to tell me about the trade offs. He said he sympathized with younger patients as for them this procedure meant compromises whereas seniors have lost their near vision already and are happy to gain distance vision without glasses.
He asked me not to make a decision then on a lens but to call the hospital and give them my decision and if I wanted the premium lenses that payment was collected by the hospital. He said as a surgeon he recovers the funds through Medicare system - same price no matter which decision I made. It was comforting to know he wasn’t motivated by dollars.
indygeo Sue.An
Posted
Sue.An.. wow, you've had such a great outcome. It's great that the Canadian system doesn't incentivize doctors to push more expensive options for profit. That's the way it should be. Weird thing happened here from a timing perspective to me just today. Recall I also explored NHS options. And just a few days ago I was told by them that any surgery involving my cataract would be done "in months". I told them to put me on the list anyway because I didn't want to lose a spot. I wanted that option if I backed out from the private surgeon. Anyway, I finally gave the green light to my private surgeon, in part, due to the wait of the NHS. So literally today I receive a letter from the NHS with a schedule date of next Wednesday! Ack! But it's too late now to go with them essentially.. I mean, I've already transferred funds to the private surgeon. I guess I'm okay with that because at least I know who is doing the surgery, although to be honest, I'm not fully happy with the way things have been explained to me. Again, I'm leaving it up to his experience to a degree. This may come back and bite me, I don't know.
G
Sue.An indygeo
Posted
I think it no coincidence that you got notice from NHS. You are going to find this strange but I actually prayed for you to find peace and calmness through this process just on my lunch hour not 2 hours ago.
They have excellent surgeons and only deal in monofocal lenses. This would save you thousands of $$$ too.
Really think sometimes these things happen for a reason.
8 years ago I had to undergo surgery for skin cancer and the surgeon I was paired with was rude at the consult - wanted to just put me under local anesthesia (surgery on my face) which she told me would leave a scar but at least I would be rid of the cancer. I was terrified. 2 weeks before my surgery my boss asked if I would like a 2nd opinion (she was on the board of another hospital). Long story short this surgeon put me out completely and also combined in with plastic surgery- I can hardly tell where the operation was today.
give it some thought.
indygeo Sue.An
Posted
Sue.An, Thank you so much for your prayers. Just knowing you did that does bring me some calm and peace. In regards to the situation, I felt I had to cancel the NHS slot because the funds were indeed already with my private surgeon and to be honest I'm a bit tired of dealing with the hassle of the NHS. Not that I would expect the surgeons there aren't good, but it's the administrative side that's difficult to deal with and the communication is just lacking. Plus I like to know ahead of time who my surgeon is going to be. For the NHS just a few days ago to tell me that it would be months before I would get scheduled for surgery to my suddenly receiving a letter stating my surgery is scheduled for next Wednesday really put a bad taste in my mouth. In any case, I'm still looking forward to Monday. I've received a small pack of info, forms to sign, etc. Oh, and that's another scary thing...the forms, the caveats laid out in the literature.."Please know there can be complications as with any surgery..Your vision could be worse off, you could become blind, or you could lose an eye." I didn't quite like reading that to say the least. But it is what it is, so I've got some of these papers signed and ready to take in. I went to a local pharmacy this evening as well to put in my order for some pre-surgery drops. I think they're for inflammation. I need to pick up some other meds for post op (as I'm sure you know all about).
Thank you again so much for your prayers. I feel 'em!
G
Sue.An indygeo
Posted
Are you to take the drops a couple of days prior? I had to start both the antibiotic drops and the prednisone one 2 days prior - 4 times a day. That would continue for following 2 weeks and then 2 more weeks of prednisone.
Wish you well on Monday and will pray for an excellent outcome. Look forward to hearing how it all went.
Take care.
indygeo Sue.An
Posted
Hi Sue.An I can relate to your forms story.. no forms/no surgery. Just have to do it I guess, but it's scary! Yes, I need to take some drops (I think it's an anti-inflammatory) two days prior which means I start tomorrow. I'm going to literally pick the drops up in about 15 minutes after I leave this little patisserie I'm in at the moment. This stuff is called Yellox. I think I read 2 drops a day for the two days prior to surgery, but I'll double check that. Thanks again for your prayers and positive thoughts. : )
G
Sue.An indygeo
Posted
Just remember high percentage success rate - lots of ya pulling for you on the forums.
Once it’s done you will be amazed at how bright everything is and because you will be able to compare to the other eye you’ll see how white and bright colours are. Your cataract eye makes whites look yellowish brown.
You’ll need sunglasses for sure. Wore mine even inside the house for quite awhile till eyes adapted to the brightness.
GOOD LUCK!!!!
indygeo
Posted
T Minus 1 today. Yesterday I started on the Yellox drops I was prescribed. One drop in the morning, one in the evening. Today, I've taken my morning drop. Although I've logic'ed out my choice of a mono-focal lens for my left eye, I'm nevertheless see-sawing in my mind about "what if" scenarios. "What if I chose a Symfony lens and it worked out really well and I had great vision at all main distances and I experienced only slight halos?" "Wouldn't it be nice to be glasses free?" A friend of mine has offered to take me to the procedure tomorrow as those closest to me have work obligations. I may need to take him up on it. Does anyone think I could manage getting home on my own on public transport for an approximately 2 hour journey after surgery? I'm thinking I probably could, but I don't know the effects of any sedation they might give me. I think they plan on giving the local eye anaesthesia as well as a mild sedative.
I'm hopeful and nervous at the same time. I'm trying to stay focussed on a successful outcome and the wonders of seeing well and getting my life back again. I keep hearing about and reading the stories of how colours look so vibrant and pure after surgery. I want to experience that.
I think my poor vision has led to a number of negative consequences in my life. Quite possibly: Impatience, frustration, loss of confidence, tiredness, a sense of "limitations" on what I can attempt, and even depression at times. I'll find out soon enough, but I have to believe the shackles of poor eye sight have limited my potential. The screen I'm typing on looks absolutely washed out at all distances with my left eye. Nothing but white with very, very faint patches of grey where the letters in these posts appear. I can't fathom how I did it before...creating/troubleshooting Excel spreadsheets with 20 to 30 linked tabs, thousands of lines of data with dozens of columns, complex formulae... in a high pressured work environment...all with one semi-decent eye. No one understands this unless they've been through it I think. That's why this forum is so valuable.
Tomorrow's the big day. I hope to post before and/or after surgery to share the experience. I'll definitely post how things go after surgery and whether my expectations were met (or not) in terms of outcomes.
G
Sue.An indygeo
Posted
for tests I had to bring a driver and couldn’t return to work for the day.
Some surgeons are able to change lens selection last minute - that might be the case as you are doing privately. In my case I was told I could change my mind up to one day prior and if I changed my mind day of surgery they would have to reschedule the surgery. But mine were done through the hospital and on Medicare.
Some see so clearly within a day of surgery and for some it takes time. It doesn’t have a direct bearing either way on your outcome but hoping for you it is soon so that it eliminates the worry and stress.
I too work with a lot of excel spreadsheets at work and kept working up till my surgeries but life for over a year was difficult with cataracts both eyes and felt I was going blind. My work did play a huge part in my lens decision.
Will be thinking of you and praying for a great outcome. Keep the faith.
derek40125 indygeo
Posted
G, Good luck with your surgery. You seem very nervous about the surgery itself such as keeping your eye open. Tell the staff that you are very nervous and worried about this. I'm not sure if you are going to be getting IV Sedation or not (I couldn't tell from your prior posts).
If so, tell the anesthesiologist about your concerns in advance and they will then be more watchful of any tendency to move and increase the sedation for you.
If no IV sedation, still tell them as they may give you oral medication to relax you. No surgeon wants to operate on a "fidgety" patient.
Don't worry, the surgery itself is going to go fine. Follow your surgeon's instructions for post-op recovery and relax as much as you can and then take it easy for a few days.
Also, depending on your cataract type, you may not get to experience the "incredibly vivid colors" that so many people report. If you vision was yellowed, you might very well notice this, but if it was just heavily clouded you might not notice any difference in colors (I didn't). However you will notice the lack of cloudiness and hopefully clear sight. Also, don't panic if you don't see clearly right away. I'm sure you've read this on these forums but there is a huge difference in how eyes react to the initial healing process. My surgeon keeps the eye bandaged and shielded until the next morning. He told me that one of the reasons he does this is to avoid all the "panic calls" from patients 2-3 hours after surgery,
Since you've chosen a monofocal and you've mentioned contacts in a prior post I wanted to mention something to you. After you've healed you can certainly try multi-focal contacts. You'd get a 0D distance with a near ADD and you should then be able to get a comparable range to a multifocal IOL (although probably not Symfony). If you can tolerate contact lenses well, there is no comparison to glasses.
Sue.An derek40125
Posted
Yes best to mention to nurse/surgeon if you’re nervous. My fodntnuse IV bit did give me an Ativan - takes the edge off.
indygeo Sue.An
Posted
Thank you again Sue.An. Interesting that one might have the option to change lenses so late in the game. Although I am waffling a bit, I think it's probably best I go mono-focal. It IS perhaps a conservative approach, maybe too conservative, but given the outcomes I've read and heard first hand, they don't seem too bad, and I imagine most any reasonable outcome will be a great improvement to the way I'm seeing now. Like tonight, I went to my local pub here (didn't drink) and bumped into this older gent who I have known had two mono-focals implanted a while back. He carries on most of the time without glasses. My father's has had the same positive experience with his situation..He had two mono-focals implanted just a few months ago and he's quite happy.
So while I'm quite tempted to switch and live with potential halos, I feel that perhaps for me I can live with glasses for near vision as necessary. I must say though, it sure is a difficult trade-off. These decisions aren't very clear cut. I'm taking a bit of risk I suppose in that I'm actually hoping for a good mono-vision result (vis a vis my good nearsighted eye) but I think only around 1/4 of people are actually completely glasses free in such situations. Whereas, something like 80% or so (I think I've read) have mild to no issues with halos in the Symfony scenario. But if I DID have, say, a bad outcome in terms of halos that would be a situation I don't think I could deal with..and I really don't want to to an ex-plantation if that were the case. It all comes down to expectations, and the possibility of regrets I guess. Maybe I'll eventually have a Symfony lens implanted in my right eye eventually. Thank you again for your posts.
G
indygeo derek40125
Posted
derek, Thanks for your reply and for the suggestion of the multifocal contacts. I've used contacts in the past and I have no issues with the. They've worked quite well for me. So yes, that's definitely an option. In fact, I'm thinking of using one for my right eye if my current mono-vision separation doesn't work out. I can maybe adjust it, using a contact lens, so that it does work.
As for sedation, I do believe they're going to give me a bit of that to keep me calm. Honestly, I'm not too consciously flussed about the surgery even though it might sound here on this forum like I'm a nervous wreck. I feel peaceful about it. It's only because I've had a couple of panic situations involving small airplanes in the past is why I'm a bit concerned. I can go up in a single engine plane from a cornfield, but it's the small, straw-like jet aircraft with two single rows of seats that get to me. I find them stuffy and claustrophobic. Thanks so much for your informative post.
Cheers,
G
Sue.An indygeo
Posted
Will be looking forward to your post in coming days to see how things are.
derek40125 Sue.An
Posted
Sue, my cataracts weren't yellow or brown. To me, they appeared more like Vasoline or a gel was rubbed on my eyes. I lost all contrast but could still see general object colors. Since I had a cataract in my left eye too, I had expected to see colors differently and better with my operated eye. That didn't happen, my two eyes are identical in terms of color rendering, so I missed on that "wow" feeling (in terms of color), but I'm much happier now because color rendering is important to aspects of my job and since the two eyes are the same, that was one of the factors that allowed me to indefinitely delay the surgery on the other eye.
Sue.An derek40125
Posted