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Differing views on HSV

Posted , 4 users are following.

Cherry27
Cherry27

So I saw my psychologist today, who is also a registered nurse. She seemed to think that if you were having short term relationships (one night stands etc) that it wasn’t required to tell them if you were using condoms. Her reasoning was that people with cold sores orally don’t go around telling everyone they kiss or sleep with that they have a cold sore virus, when essentially it’s the same virus. 

What are your thoughts? Do you think that’s true - and it’s okay to sleep with people without telling them. I was under the impression we should tell everyone we have sexual relations with and swore off having casual sex ever again because I feel id never be able to tell a casual partner. 

Please tell me your opinions on this and any information you have received smile 

0 likes, 4 replies

4 Replies

  • ashley78942
    ashley78942 Cherry27

    Posted

    I 100% disagree! A condom does not always protect the other person who doesn’t have hsv. people having hsv & thinking “I don’t need to tell this other person because it’s rare I’m going to pass it to them” is the reason so many people have it ! I haven’t slept with anyone except the man who gave it to me since I was diagnosed, but Iv had many men who are friends tell me they would be perfectly fine with it. Just be informed about how you can spread it & be safe. ALWAYS disclose & give the other person the option if they are ok with it or not. 

  • haz83342
    haz83342 Cherry27

    Posted

    Disagree. 

    I got herpes through one night stand and she was not a prostitute. 

    Do you think i would agree to have sex with her if she told me she has herpes???

    This is unfair!

  • mark50520
    mark50520 Cherry27

    Posted

    I have had genital HSV2 for a couple of years. I have had multiple partners so have faced exactly the same issue.

    First point is about condoms. Ashley78942 is right, condoms only reduce the transmission rate by about 30% so you shouldn't rely on them. I caught my Herpes despite using a condom. So if you have an outbreak or even think that maybe you have one coming e.g. you have a tingle, then just don't have sex at all until it passes

    Your new sexual partners deserve to be told that you have had Herpes, even if you are between outbreaks and unlikely to be infective. It's about informed consent. You need to find a way to front up and have this difficult conversation. Maybe your psychologist could help you with rehearsing this.

    I've had the awkward conversation several times now and it's gone better than I expected.

  • Cherry27
    Cherry27

    Posted

    Thanks everyone - that’s what I thought from researching but she seemed to think it was okay. I got it from a condom that fell off so I definitely would have liked the choice had I been informed 
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