Difficult night last night

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Difficult afternoon too.

It's immensely difficult when you sit there trying to convey or communicate a problem (a fairly reasonable one too) to your partner only for them to completely shut off, or have either one of two reactions - the 'fingers in my ears going la la la la' or the anger. That feeling of resentment when it feels as though it's your partner causing you the depression and anxiety.

Immensely difficult night resulted from that - thoughts of suicide, feeling outside oneself as though '[insert name here] is gone; the mind is no longer present; please leave a message after the tone'

And yet here I am, awake.

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