Disclosure Help
Posted , 5 users are following.
I posted on here about a month ago about my surprise herpes diagnosis after 10 years of marriage.
Part of me feels that I should just go on antivirals and keep my mouth shut...considering sex is something that only occurs 1 or 2 times a year. Then address it only if he ends up contracting it.
The other part feels that I should be honest and I hate keeping this from him.
Ho do I approach the subject. I can't stand the thought of losing him.
0 likes, 7 replies
JustKasey Neris35
Posted
Hi Neris,
I feel that you need to be honest and tell your partner about your diagnosis. If you're not upfront and he does end up contracting it because you didn't disclose your status, this can cause an array of issues.
You should just tell him, it should not be that much of an issue if you're barely intimate. You may find that he is very understanding. You may of even contracted it from him. He could be carrying the virus and displayed no symptoms?
Neris35 JustKasey
Posted
I'm just so scared he's not going to be okay and that I'll end up alone and infected. I can't do this if he isn't by my side...I have cancer too.
Is there a chance he doesn't have it? I mean, there hasn't been a sex life for us in years but condoms ere only used in the very beginning of our relationship. Most of our marriage has only include sex maybe 1 or 2 times per year.
JustKasey Neris35
Posted
I'm so sorry, I can only imagine what you are going through. Please know you aren't alone, this virus is not the end - by not telling him you're only going to stress/think about it all the time.
Neris35 JustKasey
Posted
I'm very interested to hear the experience of others in a similar circumstance.
haz83342 Neris35
Posted
Did you have extra marital sex relation?
If you never had any other sex partner so you must tell your husband with confidence that you have herpes. And sure you got it from him.
And anyway being frank is the safest way to protect both of you.
Neris35 haz83342
Posted
I did not cheat.
I had a lot of fun in my early 20s...lots of boyfriends.
A couple months of dating my husband I had these strange bumps under my belt. They sabbed them but they came back negative although I convinced myself it had to be herpes. I told myself if I ever had another bump again then I'd get it checked. I got a spot after my radiation treatment so I got it checked.
He kne about those bumps at the time but it came back negative so neither of us really thought to much if it.
I've had yeast infections often throughout our marriage...so I'm curious about that.
Things have been rocky the last couple years since my cancer diagnosis but I did not stray. but if he thinks I did that ould be very upsetting.
j17040 Neris35
Posted
Hi,
You situation sounds very difficult but not hopeless. Your definitely not alone. I've been with my guy for 5 years. We separated for a few months this year and I slept with someone else. Whom afterwards found out he had hvs2. I got tested and found out I had it too. I was devastated and scared cause I have no idea when I got it. As I'm pretty much asymptomatic. But I felt like I needed to tell him because he deserved to know his own status no matter the state of our relationship. So I immediately told him the day I found out. he was extremely supportive. We eventually worked things out and have been better for it. We're now in what I believe some of th best years of our relationship and are getting married in 2020.
You can't appreciate the sun without the rain.
Honestly this isnt a huge hurtle. I'm more concerned about the once or twice a year and the concept that maybe hes the original carrier.
But either way live your life boldly!