Do I Have Depression (Suicidal Thoughts)???😞😞😞

Posted , 5 users are following.

I've been depressed almost on' and off' for a mass number of weeks. I've also been getting mood swings that also play a large part in my distress. I don't really like cooperative activities because I am very emotionally sensitive and when I do get hurt no one is there to comfort me. 

Even around other people, I still feel lonely. When i'm around my friends I am normal, I guess. From what I can conclude, I don't know what's wrong with me. One minute I'm very happy and excited and then all of a sudden depressed out of either disappointment or feeling that I am out of control of the tragedies and circumstances in my life.

I want to die, I really do. But almost thinking of the very thought of death makes me cry, sometimes. I've had suicidal thoughts but never really attempted suicide. I just don't know how. I feel like i'm living in a cycle almost like a loop. I feel trapped. I want to die and finish it. Then I wouldn't have to feel restrained by my own emotional barriers. I remember a time when I almost died(*by a gunshot) then moment-ed on it. And now I wish that I would've died then to end all of my suffering from then and now. I've also been thinking of doing drugs.

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  • Posted

    Doing drugs is a fate worse than death.Ypu lose your old self and drone like a bee for nectar.You should talk to family or friends about how you feel.You are not alone.What tragedies do you mean?

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  • Posted

    Hi Saadiqa - sorry to read you are suffering. Sounds like you want to escape - thoughts of suicide, drug taking. And yet you haven't mentioned anything about getting medical help for this medical problem - which is what depression is. See your doc. Medications might be prescribed. Meds are a tool and are effectively used in conjunction with therapy or counselling to tackle any underlying issues causing the depression. Escaping problems permanently is like escaping your shadow. No matter where you go, it goes with you. 

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  • Posted

    Saadiqa, SSRI's (Paxil in my case) turned my life around. I started taking it 25 years ago and it's done wonders for my chronic depression/suicidal outlook. Get in and see a doctor, he can prescribe something to take the peaks off your mountains and valleys. But you should also look into therapy-somebody you can talk to about what's bothering you. Drugs are a great first step, but Depression must be handled at multiple levels-medicine, therapy, diet, exercise, etc..

    Good luck and let us know how it works out for you.

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