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I've been depressed almost on' and off' for a mass number of weeks. I've also been getting mood swings that also play a large part in my distress. I don't really like cooperative activities because I am very emotionally sensitive and when I do get hurt no one is there to comfort me.
Even around other people, I still feel lonely. When i'm around my friends I am normal, I guess. From what I can conclude, I don't know what's wrong with me. One minute I'm very happy and excited and then all of a sudden depressed out of either disappointment or feeling that I am out of control of the tragedies and circumstances in my life.
I want to die, I really do. But almost thinking of the very thought of death makes me cry, sometimes. I've had suicidal thoughts but never really attempted suicide. I just don't know how. I feel like i'm living in a cycle almost like a loop. I feel trapped. I want to die and finish it. Then I wouldn't have to feel restrained by my own emotional barriers. I remember a time when I almost died(*by a gunshot) then moment-ed on it. And now I wish that I would've died then to end all of my suffering from then and now. I've also been thinking of doing drugs.
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