Do you feel attractive ?

Posted , 10 users are following.

I noticed in many posts that we are starting to have a low opinion of ourselves . Many of you have mentioned not caring about getting dressed up ... how you look.. what you wear .

I know personally I just put anything on when getting dressed don’t care if hair is dirty .... just want to make it through the day.

I don’t care if I look attractive anymore and I’m single so I should . I know when I get ready I’m not that bad and some may say ‘attractive ‘ ‘fashionable ‘ but all that has taken a backseat to feeling well. 

3 likes, 26 replies

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26 Replies

  • Posted

    Lori, in my opinion your priorities are fine.  You are in survival mode.  It has nothing to do with having a low opinion of yourself.  

    What matters is on the inside. To me the word "attractive' means that the goal is to intrigue someone enough that the person will want to engage with them, to get to know them better and form a more permanent acquaintance.

    I'm striving for clean and maybe personable, some days. And, I like myself, too. xx 

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  • Posted


    Just as Lynda put it so well.. We are in SURVIVAL mode so trying to think of anything other than that is not in us, or not in me anyways.

    I simply dont care either. I know i have to represent some civility when im out, so i barely do the minimum.

    I couldnt entertain a man now in my life, Its not that time in my life to be doing that. We dont have the physical, spiritual, or mental capacity to do it anyhow, its not meant to be right now.

    So no

    dont feel low esteem, your are in a transitionary phase in your life, and hopefully sooner than later you will begin to feel better.

    I look in the closet and wonder where these clothes came from? Who wore these dresses? Before i could put on whatever and style out,,,now i see its pointless.. i dont have it in me, so  you are still attractive you are in a cocoon stage right now.


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    • Posted

      Hi, Mauiblue!  I have the same experience.  I look in my closet and wonder who that woman who bought those clothes and wore them was.

      Now, I'm the woman with two midi dresses and one pair of black slip on shoes.  I wear those to doctor's appointments, etc.

      At home, I wear old pull on pants and long sleeved t-sirts, with an undershirt.  I don't bother with a bra.  I need to be comfortable--in my cocoon. xxx  


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    • Posted

      Well if you are wearing a mini' dress to the doctor you might be doing pretty darn good! wink

      Yeah its weird... the transformation that is going on.

      Im just kind of day to day, hour to hour.

      Yes, i have my set of soft evening clothes that i wear, and a soft no wire bra.

      Pretty crazy how ive been reduced to this...

      i look around while driving and people are doing things everywhere, i mean, eating, jogging, dining, socializing etc. it makes me feel so isolated,, and zapped of energy just watching this and knowing that i could never do that right now, im a million miles away from normal

      ta ta



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    • Posted

      Ah, I said "midi" the dresses are down to my ankles.  They're short sleeved, and scoop necked.  I can add a wrap if I know the office is going to be cold.  I also have a sun hat, as I live in the desert.  

      I  am about 5 feet 3 3/4 and weigh about 114 pounds, so a bra isn't really necessary.  Don't like feeling confined by my clothes.  I weighed 140 pounds when I got uterine cancer in 2016--I just completed about a year of chemo, more surgery and two types of radiation.  My hair is growing back, but there's still not enough to cut--sort of wild looking now.

      My basic priority is feeling well enough to "toddle about" in the house, and waiting for the effects of the radiation to subside.  There are lots of them, and they can last a long time.  

      I can be pretty tired and lack patience at times.  Mostly, I try to treat everyone with love and compassion, as I've been the lucky recipient of it for a good while.  xx

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    • Posted


      after what ou just shared with me, I feel pretty shallow for even having posted anything so trivial in comparison.

      what is so touching is that you are trying to treat everyone with compassion and love.

      Your an inspiration. You are also a trooper. Im praying for a really smooth transition back to a comfortable quality of life for yourself.

      You will get there and you already have gotten there  smile

      We can only be our personal best and when things like this take us down, we just go inward and find that strength that we already possess within us.

      Perhaps the length of the dress will go up in time...




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    • Posted

      Mauiblue, thank you.  I said I try to treat everyone with love and compassion!  wink My husband can attest that I fall short sometimes!  

      I believe that life teaches us lessons, though sometimes we're hard pressed to know what it is we're supposed to be learning.  I also believe that we have untried resources within us that we can tap in times of challenge.  

      Best to you! xxx 

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    • Posted

      I know that I am/was a control freak.  And here I am in a situation where I have no control whatsoever.  I always thought of myself as one type of person, and my illness has shown me that I can be completely opposite.  It's challenged many perceptions that I had, and shaken me to my core.  

      It's also taught me that I need to ask for help and what really matters. XXX

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    • Posted

      You nailed in Lynda !! Something comes into your life that you have absolutely no control over ! I’m a fixer I fix my problems  and other people’s too ... This is something out of my control and depressed me to no end . 

      I’m relying on different doctors and new medication .... swapping and changing constantly . We want to be back in charge of our own bodies !!! 

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    • Posted

      Thanks, Lori.  I have been given a few weeks to recover after having brachy therapy. According to my doctor and his nurses, the side effects of radiation (also had external beam) last a long time and can come and go.  

      I just got my urinary tract to stop hurting--and now my bowels are acting up. I'm 69 and essentially wearing diapers--just in case. Things improve one day, and the next it's off the rails again. XOXOXOXOXO  

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  • Posted

    Do I feel attractive?   OH PLEASE DON'T MAKE ME LAUGH!   It's pretty hard to feel attractive with stringy hair, wrinkles everywhere, and a body that lost it's zip.  Putting on makeup is nearly a thing of the past.  

    And I remember thinking Mom should do more to keep herself up.  LOL  Boy I just didn't get it.   I'd love to feel that spring in my step and somehow try to look likely old self.  What I look like now is MY OLD SELF and I personally find it disgusting!       

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    • Posted

      Hi there Gailannie

      You havent lost it! dont ever say that. 

      You arent disgusting, i know that you can get it back in one form or another.

      ive been told and now i truly believe that attitude is everything..almost everything!

      but when it comes to appearance, its true. Noone needs to be a beauty to be attractive, it comes from within.


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  • Posted

    I am feeling unattractive.  I just look in the mirror and say "Who is that old woman?"  I've notices bag and sags in my face, under my eyes, and chin.  Old age is just not treating me nice.   So I did somethimg that I think is kind of vain.  But I needed something to boost my morale.  I ordered a new skin care kit for anti-aging.

    It cost a pretty penny but I needed it.  It takes time to see results from it,  but so far I'm pretty happy with it.

    I've always been the kind to think primping in the mirror was vain and so I never used much make-up or even much skin care.  Now though I look in the mirror and see all this change going on and  I guess it kind of scared me.  So I guess maybe I'll be a little vain and try to be kind to my face and perhaps it will make me look a little bit better. 

    I'm always  kind of excited now to try it at the end of the day. and I feel better knowing that maybe I'm doing a good thing for my skin.



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  • Posted

    Hi Lori! I was feeling the same a year ago but things will be better for sure.

    I feel more confident for myself, I have great sex life and feel more freedom to express myself!

    I don’t care how the others see me and feel more sexy and attractive than ever before.

    It is just a state of mind and our psychology plays a huge role! 

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    • Posted

      Thank you Vicky ! For a great positive story ! We are all doom and gloom on here because we’re gojng through such a tough time . Trying all different kinds of medication we’re all stressed . 

      So let me ask .... how did you get back to your old or shall I say young self ? Are you on hormones and were things bad for you and they turned around ? 

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    • Posted

      I am on hrt, yeah Lori but it takes time. I started to feel the full benefits after 6-7 months. I have no symptoms and I don’t feel that I am in meno. Everything normal again, more libido maybe but it’s ok, feel like before. I was in a nightmare a year ago when I diagnosed.
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