Doctors don't care.

But it is not a disease, so doesn't need a cure. It is just a natural part of the aging process like grey hair, failing memory, loss of skin elasticity, etc.. And all these symptoms pass - they don't last for the rest of out lives - they go away (mostly) after menopause. I have known a few women that still have hot flushes after menopause. Better to spend the money on finding cures for actual conditions or diseases such as cancer, which do not eventually go away on their own. Men have age related issues too - hormonal changes cause prostate enlargement and associated problems.

Men don't age the same. Yes they age. But at the same rate and as drastically at 40. Yes later in their 60s perhaps. No it's not a disease and I'm not suggesting we don't work towards curing Cancer etc. We should work towards everything that makes people well and healthy as long as they live, ideally. But we also shouldn't ignore the women, maybe not you, suffering from lack of good treatment. But it's a dehabilitating condition for many women, maybe not you, that can lead to heart attack, bone loss, stroke, severe depression and anxiety etc. that impair your ability to work, be happy and function. And for many, it has no good treatments and does not get better with time. Many women on this site. If men experienced the same I'm sure there would be more and better treatments so they could function and live vibrant lives.

totally agree!!!!

and THIS is exactly the attitude of the medical community which is why so many of us are suffering!! Just suck it up and put up with it, it's no disease and therefore deserves very little attention, is what they say anyway.

No it's not "natural" to suffer so much. also there is enough money for research, it's not an either/or situation where if they spend on Menopause research they have to take the money from cancer research! There is enough for both. Just because some of us have mild symptoms does not mean we ignore others who are truly suffering. The issues people face are very real, they need solutions. Bone loss, hot flashes, painful sex, loss of libido, insomnia etc are very real, not imagined. They interfere with quality of life and affect personal and professional life to the extent some people I know had to quit work, some ended up divorced etc. This truly does deserve help from the medical community, don't compare to Cancer or ulcer or kidney failure or any other condition!!

But there are treatments - HRT. HRT has solved all the physiological and psychological issues that my friends had. I admit I got off lightly with just a dry vagina, which i have successfully treated with estrogen cream, and hot flushes and night sweats (the latter successfully treated with amitriptylene, so i get a good nights sleep). There is no treatment for an enlarged prostate, just changing lifestyle can help. It is probably not so much the medical world neglecting women but neglecting older people. Far more people die of dementia than die of cancer, but the money spent on finding a cure for cancer is vastly more than that spent on finding a cure for dementia. Many cancers are already curable but there is no cure for dementia. Cancer research attracts more money because it affects people of all ages, more to the point it can affect children. Most people with dementia are in their 80s and there is a perception that because they are so old already, and 'on the way out', why bother trying to cure dementia. I suspect that if menopause was experienced by children, there would be plenty of funding to find a 'cure'. But as I say, my friends have all been successfully 'cured' with HRT, so I am not sure what the issue is here - are there some women for whom HRT doesn't work? (I know women who have had cancer cannot use it). Or is it just that they haven't found the right HRT for them? There are so many different forms of HRT now (my friends are all on something different), my dr told me it us just a matter of finding the right one for you.

I'm afraid these age related conditions are what we get for or increased longevity, due to improved medical care. We are living longer but those extra years are often spent in discomfort, distress or pain. We have added years to life but not life to years.

so much money is poured into research on Viagra, baldness cure, butt implants, breast implants, hymenoplasty etc etc all aimed at pleasing men, yet the minute we talk about some help for a debilitating condition like Menopause they behave like we are stealing money from cancer research!! What's more it's usually woman who are so vociferous and dismissive about other women and the issues we all face. Like we are not even worth all that research money! I mean when we age we struggle to read, we don't just say oh it's not a disease it will just "go away", they researched and discovered reading glasses, but why is it that we have to ignore Menopause related issues? vaginal dryness will not just "go away" loss of libido also will not "go away" and Menopause related strokes, osteoporosis, incontinence etc etc will not just disappear into thin air if we just blissfully ignore it!

HRT was discovered by spending money and time researching Menopause related issues. if they thought it's better to use the money to research cancer then we wouldn't have had any HRT in the first place. HRT does not work for everyone. More research is needed in this field. No one is suggesting cut funding for cancer and take for Menopause. They sure seem to find the funding for viagra, male pattern balding, butt implants, breast implants and hymenoplasty all aimed at pleasing men. I am sure they can find the money to research more for HRT. it's not all in the head. we can't wish it away and think it will "go away" vaginal atrophy is real. bone loss is real, insomnia is real, strokes are real, hot flashes are real, lets not belittle the sufferings of thousands of woman world over. Let's demand research in this field rather than telling woman to suck it up and bear it because it's "not a disease" and cancer (and male impotence) deserves the research money!

HRT does not work for everyone. I know many women it doesn't work for including me. I have very low progesterone so they gave me more and I gained a ton of weight quickly and it increased a fibroid to a painful size. I've also spoken to several OBGYNs and seen research that essentially says, female hormones are still a "mystery" and very hard to balance even with natural hormones and not enough research has really been devoted to, in the words of doctors. And many women don't respond well to HRT. Clearly you are one of the lucky ones that had an easy menopause. HRT also has risks of cancer etc. depending on your age. Also menopause increases your risk of dementia, if you are worried about that. I'm not sure what you're suggesting. You and your friends are fine, so why are the rest of us complaining and suffering? And it's because we didn't die young so that matters why? If we are living longer, shouldn't our bodies and medical system evolve? The whole point of these boards is to offer support and advice to women dealing with menopause issues. Clearly you don't have those. Perhaps you should find a board to discuss the issues that do affect/matter to you?

Wow! You ladies ARE angry. It might be hormone related - you may want to look into getting treatment for that! LOL

But seriously, i am not disagreeing with you, I am just suggesting why research into menopause and other conditions, such as dementia (which kills 100% of the people who have it) is lower priority and underfunded. Sadly, this is well known by those of us who work in research, it is because they do not involve children or are not 'sexy'. I gave dementia as an example because that is the field i work in. The low priority of such conditions and the high priority of things that mee gave as examples (e.g baldness, butt implants) are sad reflections of the attitudes and priorities of western society - appearance is the top priority and celebrity and good looking people are revered. For the change you want to happen you would have to change the attitudes and priorities of modern society as a whole - good luck with that!

I have a feeling from your experiences, mee and sakura, (and the times your messages were posted), that you live in the US. I don't think things are the same here in the UK. We have many options for HRT, including bioidentical hormones (which i understand you have to get compounded at a compounding pharmacy if you want them), that are available to all from the NHS. Like i said, my friends and family have all managed to find medical solutions to their menopause problems.

Yes, Sakura, you are right, i should not be in this discussion - I have forgotten how or why I joined in the first place! I try to stay out of discussions where people are having a good old moan. I am more of a problem -> solution person than a complain -> sympathy person. I am in the menopause forum, and other forums on this website, to give advice to others on what worked for me (with my relatively minor menopause symptoms) and get advice from others on what worked for them. I will butt out of this discussion and let you get on with your mutual complaining and sympathy (which fulfills a need, just not my need). Best wishes to you and may all your menopauses be merry and bright!

How sweet of you! Yes indeed, please go. Since you seem to enjoy menopause so much, it's a mystery why you are here in the first place. Perhaps to make yourself feel good gloating about how well you are handling Menopause compared to those who "moan" about it. Or maybe to pat yourself on the back for your superior problem solving skills compared to others who, according to you, are wallowing in self pity! Anyway now that you have finished bragging you might want to take your condescending drivel to some other forum, ta ta and good riddance.

btw it's because women before us "moaned" about their Menopause issues that pharma companies brought out the HRT that you use and love so much.

oh, your emotions are in an upheaval aren't they. Lighten up! Humor is great therapy. In fact, I am giggling to myself now! You've got so worked up you aren't even reading properly - i said i agreed with you that the medical world has got it's priorities wrong and that extends further than menopause but that is entwined in the attitudes and priorities of modern western society which can be very hard to change. Perhaps in the future things will be different, I hope so. In fact, there is hope - here in the UK, employers are taking menopause symptoms into account as part of mental health awareness. Increasing awareness is a first step. I also said that having a good old moan fulfills a need - it is a coping strategy, just not mine. I try to tackle problems by facing them head on and finding solutions - probably because i am a research scientist .... or maybe that's why I'm a research scientist. I'm not boasting, goodness me, no, we are all different and have different ways of approaching problems and coping. But I shall leave, because I don't want to contribute to your stress. Could i just suggest that you try a course on mindfulness - many women find that it helps through this time (there i go again, suggesting practical solutions, sorry if that irritates you but I have helped many others on these forums with my suggestions, so I will carry on doing it, perhaps just not in this discussion!!!). Take care of yourself.

Sweetie you are not even Trying to "solve" any problems. You have said Menopause is not a disease and will just "go away" ! Great attitude. Keep giggling! We can do without your er... "help" !

This is all very interesting. It makes me suspect that Suki_girl is perhaps truly a research scientist who maybe thought they could suggest helpful products (which is appreciated) but also a man who maybe is just on the forums for research? And being a man didn't understand why we were all making such a big deal about lady issues. A woman would never joke about another woman acting too "hormonal" or emotional because her emotions are in an "upheaval". Women know that is an old joke that in reality is very demeaning and fuels a lot of female stereotypes that negatively impact women in all areas of their lives, work (salary, promotions etc.), home (relationships) etc. Similar but obviously not exactly the same, as a racist joke. Though I guess there are those women that would rather not support other women. But still this sort of expression seems really odd for me in a woman.

But for most women, it does pass and everything settles down - so many women on other discussions on this forum have stated so. I'm sorry but just had a chat with a medical researcher college of mine and she said that menopause is a normal process of aging and while HRT can help with the symptoms for most women, it is not a cure. The only cure would be to reverse the aging process, and that medical advancement isn't happening any time soon. There is also ovary transplants but that involves a major an invasive operation which would only be considered for young women who have early menopause . I guess we do just have to make the best of it after all ... so, in keeping with mindfulness - there is no point in getting angry or ruminating over something you cannot change, that is counterproductive and detrimental to your psychological and spiritual health and wellbeing.

I thought you were leaving?! If you really don't have anything much to say except keep shoving up that agenda of suck it up and bear it i really can't see why you keep hanging around, just to get the pleasure of suggesting that people are all going bonkers perhaps!

Glad to see all my best wishes for your health and future and suggestions of how to reduce the negativity and anger in your life have been well received, LOL! Before i go, i have been doing some research on the different attitudes towards menopause in different cultures, because i suspected that there would be differences, I found the following empirical evidence: not surprisingly, Japanese women complain less about menopause symptoms than American women and - I like this one - Hazda women in Tanzania celebrate the onset of menopause, and menopausal women are among the most valued members of their society - yes, that's how it should be!

I see your point about aging. Though there has been a lot of general research done on that as well, and trying to help men and women, not just live longer, but live well. So doctors should keep working on this, which includes addressing menopause and prostrate issues etc. I did look into ovarian rejuvenation. Uses stem cells to reboot a woman's ovaries. It is too new and expensive right now, but maybe in the future would help, with more research. I think the issue in this discussion is as a researcher, you don't really have hard data to assume HRT works for most women. You're basing it on your friends and personal experience. We can't post links in the forum, but I recently read an article by an OBGYN that called out research that suggested quite the opposite and started an organization to draw more attention to the lack of care. Most women don't eventually get free of menopause symptoms and even if HRT helps them, they have to be weaned off at a certain age, and for most all their symptoms return and there's no treatment as for them, HRT is too dangerous. Getting angry/speaking out can be productive if it brings about change, aka better treatments from doctors. Women had to get angry to get the right to vote, etc. Also if women are in pain, suffering through anxiety and many other symptoms they can't just meditate away real physical suffering. Though meditation I agree, is great in general. But you can't meditate away a giant fibroid, or a heart attack or bone loss.

I will look up Hazda. That's interesting. I agree our society doesn't help by perpetuating the notion that women have to be young and beautiful forever, while an older man can still be ruggedly handsome. I've also read the stat about Japanese women. Having lived in Japan for several years I will tell you part of that reason, is they are too embarrassed to complain, so it doesn't necessarily mean they aren't suffering. It's ingrained in their society to not complain or speak up. And there's also data that suggests eating a lot of soy lessens hot flashes. Though now we are told soy is unhealthy, which I think requires more research.

I live in the UK and have tried different regimes of HRT for 18 months... none suit me and make me quite ill with side effects as they're not natural, they're synthetic. I need to use oestrogen and progesterone as I have a uterus and although I can possibly ask for a bio-identical oestrogen cream on script I would eager to hear of a bio-identical progesterone cream available on NHS prescription as I (and my doctors) can't find one and they refuse to look at anything off script; Utrogestran progesterone caps being the only alternative to synthetic HRT, that made me soooooo ill.

I suffer a great deal, I am not the woman I was, my family notice and most upsetting is the fact my young children notice... it's hell and I desperately want the woman that i once was back for just a few more years so my children can enjoy a mother who isn't in pain, can't think straight, forgets everything, suffers total exhaustion and feels so low because of it plus more issues... I hide most of my feelings as I really don't want them to know how bad i feel, they're too young.

There are worse conditions, yes of course there are, but I wish there was more research/help/alternatives regarding menopause here in the UK as quite frankly it's ruined my life for at least the past 5 or 6 years and shows no sign of abating any time soon - reading the thousands of other posts here on the meno forum I am defo not alone - and so I strongly feel there is a lack of help here in the UK, especially for those women who cannot tolerate the usual synthetic HRT.

AJ.

I hear you and feel for you! You are not alone. I'm channeling healing thoughts for both of us!! I want my body back too. And my brain. And my life. I don't fit into clothes. Embarrassed to go out in public and up all night with pain and extreme anxiety. 😦 It feels like I've gone from feeling 30-something to old age overnight, while a 40 or 50 something man is still vibrant. There are no good options in the U.S. either. And what options there are, are pricey. I tried hormones too and just got worse. And like you natural hormones are not offered unless you get it through some alternative medicine. And honestly the natural versions didn't help me either. 😦 Hang in there. I think we need to start some sort of organization or women's movement.

I feel for you too and I'm starting to think the same! Women need to voice the issue more... there are so many who, like us, have tried synthetic and in your case bio's and have no relief... it needs more research as I honestly can't believe how it can change a person so dramatically... I was always aware of the menopause and what it may bring but this is something else!! I honestly never expected to feel so alien in my own body!

I really hope you can find relief of some sort soon and if you do - let me know!!

xxxx

Just can't bear to leave eh? Go celebrate with the Japanese. I'm sure you could join a forum with like minded people who are delighted with Menopause and can't get enough of it. In the meantime let the rest of us "moan" " get angry" and demand better treatment so you get your HRT and stuff. So sorry to disappoint you by not being happy with Menopause and just waiting for it to "go away"

That is interesting. Actually, because of this discussion I have become interested in the cultural differences in how women experience menopause. The Women in Balance Institute summaries some research findings:

"Another idea is that the most important factor determining a woman’s experience of menopause is the culture in which she finds herself before, during, and after menopause:

In our youth-idolizing Western culture, menopause can seem like an ending. However, in many cultures, menopause is a time of new respect and freedom for women. A study reported that Mayan women, although experiencing some uncomfortable symptoms, looked forward to menopause, as it provided newfound freedom and status (Stefanopoulou). Marcha Flint found that in Rajasthan, India, women who were veiled and secluded before menopause, could now “come downstairs from their women’s quarters to where the men talked and drank home brew” and could publicly visit and joke with men after menopause (Flint 1975).

Do American women report more symptoms of menopause because of the impact of our Western lifestyle choices and stress levels on hormones? Or is it that we live in a culture where menopause is sometimes treated as a “disease", rather than the transformative and elevating experience it is in other cultures?"

I also found other research that shows that, despite the symptoms women experience being the same wherever they are in the world, those living in cultures that revere and promote youth (e.g. the US and UK) self report experiencing worse symtoms. All very interesting! I guess, because of who I am, I cope with tough periods in my life not only with humor but also by researching it to death!

Good luck with the future! I'll leave this discussion now - AGAIN (I already did unfollow, but I still got the notifications - I'll try again), because i seem to have annoyed Mee, who now seems to have some odd theories about who I am (poor thing, it is not nice to be so bitter, I do wish she'd try mindfulness, it really does help). Honestly, just a menopausal women who is trying to make the best of a bad time. We all have different ways of coping.

I am sorry that you have not been able to find anything that helps. You will see from my other posts that I agree that there needs to be more research into alternatives, especially for those women who cannot tolerate what is currently available. As a researcher I know the reasons for lack of research and funding. It is not, as some suggest, because menopause is a female thing, it is because is is an age thing. We get the same thing in the field I research in - dementia - because this affects older people there is the perception that there is less need to research it as there is to research something that affects children. Cancer, on the other hand has a vast amount of money for research because it affects people of all ages - I'm sure you have seen the fundraising ads on the TV in the UK where they show parents crying about their children with cancer. I'm not saying we shouldn't research cures for cancer, but we shouldnt neglect things that affect older people. Countries should share their treatments too, because it may well be that what you need is available, just not in the UK.

I too have school age children, so I understand your struggle. But in some ways it is a good thing because having them gives me motivation to get up in the morning and carry on with the day. And focusing on their needs takes my mind off my problems. I noticed that today Mee put up a post about not having enough energy to train for a marathon this year - last year she ran a half marathon, but still works out every day! I wish I had that much energy. I asked her to share her secret, because that is amazing.

But I am not supposed to be here because I upset Mee when I explained the reasons for lack of research into menopause - I think she thought I was saying thats the way it is, so we have to suck it up and get on with it, but I was just explaining why it is that way. So I bid you adieu.

yes, I agree, more help is needed, that is what I have been saying. I just felt it was an exaduration to say there is nothing available. There is something - HRT. But more needs to be done because this doesn't help everyone. It isn't a disease and it is a natural part of aging but that doesn't mean women have to suffer. Going back to my example of dementia - many doctors believe that dementia is a natural part of aging (I even heard one say that it is annoying that these people with dementia take up so many hospital beds!), but that doesn't mean these people, and their families, should suffer. I also felt that it is not so much that menopause is neglected by the medical world because it is a woman's problem but because it is a problem that occurs in later life. Of course mindfulness / meditation won't get rid of heart problems, etc. I just suggested it because Mee seemed to be getting very angry by me saying it wasn't a disease and it was a natural part of aging - like I said, those are true facts but that doesn't mean it should be neglected by the medical world. Other than the anger, Mee seems to be very fit and healthy - she started another post about running a half marathon last year, but not having the energy to train for it this year, but she still works out every day. I mean, wow, I wish I could summon the energy to do that ... I struggle to get out of bed every morning!

Hi Suki..I just read your post and I'm not the one to comment on certain post but your post I could not past by. It bothered me how you compared yourself and your friends to other women. You and your friends are one if the fortunate and blessed one who missed all if these horrible symptoms. Like the ladies were saying no hrt is not for everyone. I've tried her , biodentical , every supplment , acupuncture, etc. my list goes on. and on. No

(continued) nothing has helped me. So you cannot say that hrt is the answer for everyone . Then my alternative Dr says it's very unnatural to put something in your body that your body doesn't recognize. If I were you and your friend I would be very cautious of what I put in or on my body..hrt is not safe. Then there are cases where women have no symptoms now but later in years symptoms blow up especially if you ever try to come off later. So be careful how you speak of others who's suffering. The table may be turned..you think i asked for this or if it was something that could help me i wouldn't try it? I have tried many, many, things and hrt is one of them. I am in the US where there are many , many options but also like the ladies said if it's not a so called " serious illness" you are pretty much on your own. Again, not right to belittled others who are suffering just because you skipped the suffering..maybe now but hope you don't go through it later.

I am sorry to hear of your suffering. If you had read all my posts you will see that i agree that more research is needed. I just felt that it was an over exaduration to imply nothing was being done by the medical community. There is help available in the form of HRT, but I know that doesn't help everyone, so more research is needed. I also felt that menopause had been neglected by the medical community, not so much because it is a women only problem (as some were saying) but because it is a problem that comes mainly in later life and drew a parallel with the lack of research and research funding for curing dementia, as compare to, say, cancer (which affects all ages, including children). I think some people on here got angry unnecessarily when I said that menopause is not a disease and is a natural part of aging, as is prostate problems in men - all a consequence of increasing human longevity. These are true facts. But some assumed i was implying that, therefore, nothing needs to be done about it. Not so, just because it is a natural part of aging doesn't mean it should be neglected by the medical world. Aging people deserve a good quality of life until the end of life. A problem with miscommunication methinks. I don't think I said that myself and my friends had not suffered with menopause, did I? We have been helped by HRT certainly, but was are also all coping in someway or other - we certainly didn't skip the suffering - we cope mainly by humor rather than getting angry. You've got to laugh or else you'd cry sort if think. If you look at other discussions there are quite a few of us who do that. But I guess my humor wasn't welcome here. We also can't understand why Mee was getting so irate when we noticed in another post that she ran a half marathon last year and still works out everyday - in mean, wow, how we wish we had the energy, lack of discomfort ... and the time ... to do that! We put it down to cultural difference. If you are interested I have started another discussion on that very thing - cultural differences in how women experience menopause. Sorry to get all nerdy on you, but I find that sort of thing interesting (I guess because I do social research).