Doctors: please be on the ball about menopause I'm in hell of a state with worry

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For a few years I haven't felt right and at the back of my mind I thought it might be the menopause as my periods were getting heavier.  Flash or rather flush forward and I now at 53 I have been getting horrible hot flushes with either a tummy ache or headache or both.  I have mentioned this to the doctor but they never do anything, no test or anything but I'm guessing at this age it must be.  My periods are taking ages to come as well.  I have had pains in my chest, armpit, back (going right through to the front right, pains my legs and leg joints.  I had my heart checked a few months ago and there was nothing wrong there.  What is going on with my body?

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  • Posted

    Hi Motherhawk!

    Sounds like perimenopause for certain. Doctors are not spending much time being helpful in this part of our lives so you have come to the right place.

    A wonderful lady named JayneeJay has posted several times the 66? symptoms of perimenopause. I saw she listed it again most recently. Very helpful.

    Sometimes, much like when we were all in the dating arena, we had to kiss a lot of toads to find the right partner, well, seems it is the same in finding the right physician to be helpful during this time. And even with the best of help, there are going to be some days that are just going to be plain rotten. But it passes.

    Wishing you the best,

    Annie xx

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  • Posted

    This is the link to Jay's most recent post regarding the 66 symptoms-hopefully won't get held up in moderation.

    You will find a lot of wonderful, supportive women here to guide you through this time.

    Annie  xx

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    • Posted


      Yep. Probably got about 60 of those symptoms - just shoot me now!!:-)

      Most, as you will see, are age-related, Peri/menopause being part of that.

      I'm of the mind that HRT is there for those who want/need it (general, overall health issues allowing of course). Won't stop majority of the symptoms but surely better to deal with some rather than none?

      Trying as I am to ward off starting HRT, as once I go on it i'll want to stay on it forever! Read on here of someone who's taken it for 20+yrs. Her brilliant GP checks her and says she deserves a decent quality of life - an OBE at the least for them for 'Services to Women's Health'!!

      I'm 54 now and believe I deserve to still have a life. If taking HRT gives me some of my life back, but only defers symptoms, then so be it. I'd rather be 10+yrs older going through this than now - and the HRT might help support my bones to foot!

      I believe I'm tough as nuts in most other aspects of my life, but I won't be a Martyr to this bloody curse any longer than I have to!

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    • Posted

      Hi Shaz,

      LOL! Know how you feel-someday's it is just shoot me now,  isn't it?

      I agree with you, quality of life vs quanity for me too.

      There is no one sure fire way to get through this, all trial and error and once we've found a suitable match, I believe in sticking with it. The combipatch (HRT) didn't work for me, made matters worse, somehow along the way my current doc,found that taming the wildness with intermittent use of progesterone cream helps somewhat better.  

      I am also using supplements and some alternative ways as well. I've even started a brisk walking plan 4 times a week again and it's in the middle of a very tough winter here. They say daily exercise helps as well. Ok, we'll see about that one.  smile Anything within reason, I'll try to keep the crazys aways!

      It's just mind blowing somedays to all of us, how an inbalance can cause us to feel so out of sorts to the point of desperation. Will be so glad when this is all behind us! 

      Annie xx

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    • Posted


      That's interesting to read about your combipatch and Progesterone Cream.

      Assume you're in the US?? Here in the UK I believe Bioidentical s are not available - or promoted - by our NHS Docs. If you want Bio's - pay for them yourself!! I am.

      Not currently taking any meds at all for anything. Have been trialling Bioidentical P Cream. Also given in to some supporting vis/mins (Menopace Vitabiotics) as was aching like never before.

      Who knows if I'm feeling better for them? I hate taking any meds, always have (apparently so has my sister who lives in Oz. I've only seen her 3 times since she emigrated when I was 8. Its mad how much me and that sister have in common!!). Might have to ask for patches when I eventually beg for my HRT (yeah that's good ol' Blighty for you!).

      I've given myself until end of Feb to monitor how my P's are going (crap Xmas/NY due to a 19-day bleed!). Cannot wait for them to get really irregular/ stop. Knowing my luck, I'll carry on bleeding, regular as clockwork until I'm in my 60s!! So envious of those who are my age (54) and are now in full menopause!!

      I'm trying to go 'natural' but I have to think of my bones. As I've hated going in the sun (fair skinned natural blonde - only great when you're slim AND beautiful, believed me:-) !), gave up milk by about 13 due to snotty nose (probably had an intolerance, but who knew when you lived on a London Council Estate in the early 70s? You jut didn't drink milk!).

      But main reason was my mum had TB in her bones twice, plus 3 hip replacement ops in her 82 years. And would you have known it - nah. She was a 4'10" little dynamo, running around after 5 kids. All I know is she'd have loved HRT!!

      Keep that power walking up Annie. Its great isn't it? Thinking of you and your proper winter. Our weather forecasters are 'threatening' us with bad weather over the next 3 days - how does a balmy 2° sound to you :-) ?!!

      S x

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    • Posted

      Good morning Shaznay!

      I understand what you are saying. I'm 56 and still having the occasional period. While I wouldn't want to go through this too young, enough is enough already. I'm ready to put this chapter behind me and hopefully regain some of my sanity! lol! Dairy is not a big part of my diet, hasn't been for many years. In the US they put growth hormones into the feed, so I guess I'm happy I've pretty much avoided that stuff anyway. No telling what   they will discover (eventually) that will end up causing down the road!

      Yes, I am in the US. I did try the Combipatch with bad results for me and that one is covered by insurance.  The progesterone cream is from also from a doctor but supplied by a compounding pharmacy (some versions can be bought over the counter I understand) is not covered by insurance although the doctor visits are. Crazy system, but whatever helps, I will do.

      I don't like taking meds, but sometimes we get to a point where all else fails and if they work, fine. No sense spending time on this planet miserable when not necessary if there is help out there. What works for one, may not for another. Crazy isn't it?

      Yes, the walking actually helps though many days it is hard to motivate to do so. A balmy 2 degrees sounds wonderful to our current -12 degrees (C) brrrrr....! It's early yet, should be up to -5 (C) mid-day. Only few more weeks of this nonsense, we hope!

      We just got a new puppy, so she does help me to get my feet moving. Plus I'm on my feet most of the day  at  work which is good. I only work part-time, but it's still good to keep moving. I notice, I much better, at least emotionally if  I keep very busy.

      Sitting home without structure is absolutely a recipe for disaster for me! Too much free time to notice all the weirdo symptoms and feel even more sad and anxious. Especially this time of year!

      I've gained a few (25) pounds over the past year without changing my diet and that really upsets me! Planning on leaving for vacation next week and I realize I have nothing to wear in the warm climate! Ugh! I actually hate shopping for clothes these days and that used to be one of my favorite past-times. I used to be very slim and fit! sad Now I feel like an old hag who should simply wear moo-moos (shifts, housecoats, not sure what you call them, but definitely not flattering at all) now.

      Good thinking to give yourself a little bit of time to let your body try and sort things out. If by end of Feb things don't change for the better, hopefully your doctor can help you work things out. Like I've mentioned before, I had to see several before I found one that actually had a handle on these issues. Not a 100% better, but greatly improved.

      Must get off to work! Enjoy your day Shaznay!

      Annie xx

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    • Posted

      Ha Ha.  Wherever we live, we're all the same really.  Unlike you annie, I've never been what's commonly known as 'slim':  on a good day I'd say 'a well covered bird'  - translates as a lump in the UK! Seriously my weight fluctuates but I do feel that I'm a 'heavy' person so tend to be guided by how clothes fit.  We in the UK - me in particular - have a love of leggings and jeggings:  nice and stretchy!  Helps that I have disproportionately slim legs I must say, but can get away with murder in knee length boots and longer tunic tops.  I think anything 'eslastane' is great by me.  Just drawing the line at lycra.......and the thought of spanxeek - scary!!

      Funny really, as I've been on a really good buzz after my prolonged period. I'm due to re-start as of Day 14 my Bio ID Progesterone Cream.  But I'm now actually debating whether to or not, as I can't make out if my re-intro to the Cream on 1 Jan re-started my P (that had started 19/12 and finished on 26/12) = 19 days of bleeding. I may actually go 'Commando' - completely unsupported(!) to see how things pan out. 

      But the minute I get those familiar symptoms, I'll be rubbing that stuff in like my life depends on itlol!

      After working 11hr days for 22yrs, we sold our Business and I'm now 18mths into a well-earned Sabattical.  Actually I've sat on my ar*e doing nothing and it was great.......for 12mths. Now I'm bored, want to get on with the next chapter of our lives. Who knows doing what or where: exciting and scary.

      Best thing is that I have been able to enter proper Peri without an audience!  Having said that, I think I've been in it for a good few years now. Maybe the Secret Santa hand-held 'menopause' fan I was given by a much younger colleague in 2010, is testimony to that! I just want these bloody P's to stop....for good.

      Agree: would not have wanted to have enterred it too early, as I think we've plenty of time to feel ancient.  That's why I'll seriously consider HRT if I feel it'll help my old bones.  I know it'll just defer symptoms until I come off of it, but will I care as much by then?  I'd rather have some fun again now, and get on with full menopause when I truly feel 'old' (me and my ol' man still talk/laugh/behave like we're our heads, its great!).

      Been catching the weather updates for the US: Maine etc.  Boy Oh Boy, you really do get snow, don't you!  My Grandson is full of envy.  We just sit thinking 'How do they afford to keep walm?'.  (Another downside of getting old, of course!).

      Keep Warm then!



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    • Posted

      LOL Sx,

      I got a notice about another post you made and I see I have overlooked your response to me from 5 days ago! And it's quite amusing I must say. Needed a good laugh today!

      You are so right, no matter where on earth we live, basically at our cores we are all pretty much the same. I find that to be such a comfort!

      Yes, leggings and jeggings are my go to clothes for outside apparal-at home, once I get home from work (wear a uniform which is getting a bit tight boo-hiss!) I put my PJs on, no matter what time. If I'm not going out again and hopefully no one is popping in, it's all about comfort for me. 

      I made the mistake of once again weighing myself and gain yet another 2 lbs. I've seen the Spanx, but honestly scares the bejeezus out of me. Afraid I'll never get out of it. Hope to heavens I don't end up needing it to look presentable. Only so long leggings and larger sweaters work. Soon the warmer weather kicks in. Well not soon in enough. Puxatoney Phil (crazy tradition here out of PA) claims we have another 6 weeks of winter to go.

      Seriously will be down to eating nothing but carrot sticks and drinking water soon.cry

      I had to use the progesterone cream last month and I'm still feeling very well after my cycle. No telling whether it'll be needed until I get the obvious symptoms. 

      Very few at work realize I'm going through this lovely time. They always assume I'm a bit younger when I talk about a hot flash (one is hitting right now-thankfully at home) and I really try to conceal my low emotions, for me getting out of the house helps to forget this madness, if not for a bit. But I do work part-time, so that may be the ticket. Not sure I'd want to work full-time with this craziness going on.

      Tell your grandson (not sure how old he is ) but when you are younger, these storms are a blast! Loved to go sledding but now wouldn't entertain that idea for fear I'd never get up again at the bottom of the hill! haha! We are in the Great Lakes Region- right off Lake Erie.

      We had yet another big storm roll in yesterday and continued on til noonish today. Schools and many businesses closed. I worked an odd shift  last night and thankfully had the road to myself to drive home around 2 am. Roads were very for us adults-not so much fun.

      Thankfully the heating bills are reasonable. I really wish our house had a fireplace, and this is the only time of year you'll hear me say that- they are way too much work, but ahhhh.......they are quite comforting. I have one that is on dvd and runs a loop of firelogs burning in a fireplace that I play on my husband's beloved big tv in the living room. It's ok, but not as great as the real thing. It even makes the occasional popping noise of a real fire. May have to turn that on tonight! Hubby's out plowing the drive and sidewalk (he's like a kid-loves being out there messing around moving the snow! lol!)

      A real plus is when I do get hot - I just step outside to the patio without a coat and get refreshed fast! So while I am no fan of winter- there are real pluses!

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    • Posted

      annie - you are a gal after my own heart!  Its the jumping in your PJs as soon as you can.  That must be another Peri- symptom dya think?!smile

      Yep. Heard about Puxatoney Phil earlier this week:  more snow or an early Spring??

      We in the South East had our first smattering of snow: all but gone by 10am!  My grandson - he'll be 6 on Sunday x - probably woke up with that face that only 5yr olds do when they see snow.  What a shame as he's a real fan of snow.  His teacher is a young Canadian, who tells him lots of 'snow-related' tales of home.  She's defo his first 'Crush'!!

      Well my 2-Period Xmas threw out my days to start back with my Progesterone Cream 'Trial'. On what I was classing Day 14, I started bleeding again, so I'll be having another P afterall! Gutted!!

      But, and its a big but, I've been in this really good place since I stopped bleeding on 12 Jan, in a really good mood.  I really don't want to put an end to that, as I feel really good mentally, I'm not aching as much and didn't really have the build-up (ranting etc) to indicate a bleed.  Good Good! 

      Have to say that I have been boiling (my inner furnace as my ol' man calls it!) for the last 5 nights tho', but I strip off and stick a leg out the bed.  I'm so fortunately not to have to whizz off out early to work, but really do empathise with all my 'sisters' who have to put up a front in the workplace. But after working like a Trojan for so many years, I've earned the chance to go through this without an audience!

      I'm no fool tho', I know that it'll be carnage in 3-4 days time. Like so many others on this forum, my Ps are taking longer and longer to kick in which makes it all seem like I'm bleeding for 2 whole weeks. 

      I know exactly what you mean, and I've seen the log fire DVDs - great! In fact I'm off to the East Coast to visit my nephew and his wife in their first home as Mr & Mrs.  They've got a beautiful 4-bed Victorian terrace with - wait for it - a real working log fire!  Bliss.  Just hope I don't start sweating too much!!

      Keep Warm and Happy in what sounds like the nicest place on earth: beats scabby ol' London any day to be perimenopausal!!lol x

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    • Posted

      Hiya Shaz!

      I think the PJs might be a Peri thing afterall. One of the girls (much younger than me) but could be starting Peri mentioned the same thing the other day.

      It's either our uniforms for work, sweats/yoga pants for shopping (and I used to think that was so sloppy looking-heck with that-it's all about comfort now) and PJs once you're in for the night! Haha! I wonder if I'll be one of those ladies who wears moomoos (sp?) in the summer-Dear Lord! They are like housecoats I guess. Can't believe how this really does change our likes (hopefully some of this is temporary) and dislikes.

      According to ole Phil it's at least another 6 weeks of the white stuff. Really can't complain-December was fairly nice-didn't even have a white Christmas this time. 

      Your grandson sounds sweet! We weren't able to have children and while it never upset me before, I figured that was simply how it was meant to be, it does bite me now.

      Many of my friends are grandparents and now, sure now, occasionally it'll make me really blue not having children/grandchildren of our own. Good grief, never know if that is really how I feel or is it the hormones driving me to the sad thoughts occasionally. Thankfully we are considered "honorary" grandparents to many of our friends kids, so it's ok.

      I know what you mean. I had a period end of December, so I started this year out feeling mentally and physically fit for a bit.  I told my doc had I known how miserable I was going to feel without regular cycles (aside from the 1-2 day prior blues business) I'd never had wished for them to end.

      He said many of his patients say the same. See, so we are not crazy in the least! 

      Haha-inner furnace- I call mine my own personal summer-and it's been blasting lately. Thank heavens for the cold weather. Ugh..........I'm actually wearing my summer PJs now.  I think it's time for me to start another round of the progesterone cream.  I can tell just how I've been sliding the last 24 hours. Woke up feeling swollen, shaky and the rest of the telltale signs the body is screaming for some help. Was so emotional today (OMG -I really hate this!) that I didn't even do my intended errands. Did walk the poor dog though-thank heavens! I am not even sure whether I will get a period or not these days for past year but such a on-off thing-it's anyone's guess but still, so far the cream helps to level off some of the more disturbing symptoms.

      And I don't have to work again until Friday-then we leave for vacation on Sunday! I pray that I won't be a nutcase during the trip! hahaha! Oh me. 

      Sounds like you are going to have a lovely trip to your nephew's house. What a beautiful picture I have in my head of what their place might look like! How wonderful! Enjoy the fireplace!biggrin  Color me Jealous! haha!

      Annie xx


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    • Posted

      Hi Annie

      Wow!  Never was it more obvious that you are that All-American Gal, and I am just sooo 'Sarf East London'!!  Sorry, I had no idea what a moo moo is/was so I googled it! 

      Lets just say I saw Homer Simpson dressed in one, and that was it for me.  I don't mind living and dying in leggings/jeggings, but a moo moo.......I draw the linelol!

      Funny tho' as I do recall really big ol' gels on our Estate wearing these sort of 'housecoat/overall'-type things in the late 60s.  Trouble is they never looked as stylish as they did in the pics I saw. Rather that they had their hair in curlers, hidden under a scarf, wore ruched-up support stockings and slippers, no teeth and a fag hanging out their mouth!  (oops, I mean a 'cigerette'.  Won't even go down the 'fanny' uKvUSA version here!!redface!!)

      Sitting here waiting for the full-blown break out, after 4 days of spotting.  Got a bit of a sweat on so imagine Friday will be the mother of all days for me: gut ache; back ache; fear of leaking; setting up camp in the bathroom.......hurry up. 

      Having said that, like you, I feel a little better AFTER a bleed.  Probably more psychological: I'm probably thinking 'Thank Gawd that's out of the way!'.

      I'm going off to have a shower and wash my hair - again!  I'm defo going to start a new discusion - 'Hey!  What's with the Hormonal Bad Hair Days??'!!  As dry as its becoming, I still have days of complete oil slicks, and being blonde I think it shows more.  My mum always used to moan at me for washing my hair too much.  Maybe she knew something I didn't!

      Think your holiday (vacation!) will do you the power of good.  Was reading only this morning about the benefits of holidays for most of us.  Just hope your not flying on a Taiwanese airplane (not sure I want to fly every again!!).

      Hve fun.  Take plenty of 'supplies' with you - just in case!

      S x

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    • Posted

      Haha Shaz!

      You provided me with much needed laughs this am! cheesygrinI have visions of myself in moomoos minus the hair rollers and cig (fags) lolhanging out of my mouth. This nonsense will make you feel old before your time. I am fighting the moomoo idea for now-hope by summer, I have found a good program to drop some pounds and feel better overall. 

      Someone had just posted when will this end. Wish I knew, seems as though when I do have a few good days, it'll kick back in. That's why having monthly cycles (in hindsight) you at least knew the crazy feelings were fleeting at best. Now they take up more time and the sane time is less. Yuk! I actually think my moods did improve after a period because I had dipped low right before and then perhaps the hormones were climbing back to a healthy range til the next time. It was almost like an "Ahhhhh...." moment back then. Still happens, but much slower to rebound if I do have a period!

      Please do bring that up about the hair. Mine used to be very pretty and straight. Now I have these - I am not joking-unmanagable waves that do their own thing at the most inappropriate times. Looks like I left the house without taking time to control the mop. Thin and dry as well. No matter what shampoo and conditioner I use. What the heck! Ugh.....I believe it's on the list. Oh, and how lovely, but it's thinning in the front (what a sight) and getting thicker near the neck (hairdresser pointed it out as if I hadn't noticed myself!) Please along with the moomoo comes the babushka (save you from googling-scarf but the type older, older women drape over their heads) and while I'm at it, dark sunglasses. No need to be recognized in  public these days looking a mess like this!

      Can't want for vacation, even though this morning's news is a bit unsettling! Wow not sure what is going on with the flights in the East-good grief!

      Oh yes, I never leave home these days without  a complete set of must haves for those surprise "visits"! Got caught once at work- trust me-learned my lesson with that humdinger of a day! I cringe thinking about it! redface

      Well, as we speak of hair- I'm off to get some of this unruly mess cut- don't want to frighten the nice people of the Sunshine State when I arrive! lol!

      Take care

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  • Posted

    Hiya Motherhawk

    Sounds like you've well and truly signed up to the Peri Club - Welcome!

    You GP sounds a dead loss. Anyone else in the Practice you can see?

    Sounds like the minimum advice you need is what vit/min supps you need.

    Loads of ladies on here have taken the more 'natural' route: there's some great advice on here so have a trawl through different discussions.

    There's always HRT to consider. It not for all, but I'm defo not ruling it out. Giving myself another couple of months to monitor how my Bioidentical Progesterone Cream's working for me (or not!) then I'm back to my GP for HRT.

    let's say Peri/menopause is like childbirth: there's meds available to ease the pain, or you choose to go without. Its your choice most of the time: I chose the lot: gas/air; Pethadine and a wonderful Epidural!

    Our mothers didn't have our choices, but I know my dear ol' mum would be screaming at me "Have whatever they offer you gel, you ain't gotta suffer for no one and don't be a Martyr to this bloody thing!)

    Message here: don't suffer in silence, go get something to help you. First thing would be to get a new GP!!!

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    • Posted

      Hi shaznay

      I thought I had replied, so I apologise.  Your words have been very encouraging and I will talk to my doctor again and raise the issue.  I will be calling today funnily enough with reference to a blood test. Bit worried about that though. sad x


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    • Posted

      Hi Motherhawk

      Don't laugh.  I'm that forgetful at the mo, I always have to re-read my posts as I forget what I've ranted on about!!lol

      Been having a good laugh at my own faux pas' this week:  'chicken breasts' became 'chimney breasts' and a 'cauliflower' turned into 'curry'! 

      So reading back some of my rants is quite amusing.

      Hope all's well with the bloods.  Chin up Chick!


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