Does anybody ever wish they actually had an illness just so they could get some closure

Posted , 6 users are following.

Sometimes for a split second i find myself hoping that the doctors find something physically wrong me so that i can get treatment for it/ have this anxiety thing gone, does naybody else ever feel this way??

It doesnt make sense as i have health anxiety so the last thing i want is something to be wrong with my health, but i just get tired of it sometimes

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13 Replies

  • Posted

    Yeah I feel this way a lot, as if a physical problem at least has an easier fix. I too have health anxiety, currently in the middle of a really bad spell of it, no idea how to get out of it
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  • Posted

    I do understand so much it is a horrible feeling it's like your hitting your head against a brick wall because no one believes you and then you want to say there I told you so I knew there was something wrong but deep down in side you glad when it turns out to be nothing 
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  • Posted

    Sometimes I feel the same way.
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  • Posted

    yes, I've felt the same way because it makes it nice and simple. There is something wrong with me, therefore I can be saved by just fixing it! Life is not so simple or black and white unfortunatly. The funny thing is that when I have actually been ill, I haven't been very anxious. The fear of 'something being wrong with me' is greater than the actual reality when there is something wrong with me. I love being in hospital because I think there are doctors around to help me if I have a panic attack. I feel safe. But you can't hang around hospitals all day. Also I'm actually very healthy in reality. All my tests have come back positive. This has nothing to do with anxiety which will always tell you there is something wrong whatever the reality. If there is nothing wrong, it will make something up! This is part of the process of working with anxiety. Don't believe anything it tells you. It makes you scared of something that cannot be defined and therefore has no solution. You go round and round the same old thoughts seeking an answer. There isn't one because there isn't anything wrong with you but anxiety makes you believe that there is.

    That's just how anxiety works. 

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    • Posted

      The problem for me I think is not just thinking or fearing that something wrong, but when u also start getting physical problems which seem to validate that feeling, it's truly awful it really is, so very distressing 
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    • Posted

      I couldn't have put it better myself, I love being in hospitals even though I'm extremely healthy - I eat a raw organic, no sugar, no diary no meat whole foods diet and I have even had a cold for the last two years lol, and yet I'm worrying about he most ridiculous stuff. We're buying a house and we want to live somewhere rural and it's really hard for me not to want to live close to a hospital! Haha, it sounds ridiculous when your not having a bad episode ad your thinking ststraight what sorted physical symptoms do you have if you dot mind me asking? 

      Some of the anxiety symptoms are so real and so strong it's hard to believ that anxiety could cause them so it's reassuring to hear other people have them! 

      Thank you for your support

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    • Posted

      Yeah it's awful cause your mind seems to know what you are scared of and test you with it! 

      I said in a previous post that I could hear an awful symptom of something and I would get it a few days later!! 

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  • Posted

    Hi, now I came into this anxiety missery AFTER finding out I was riddled with several genuine physical ailments!

    It was this and the consequent depression which allowed serious issues

    from my childhood, which I'd managed to suppress for most of my adult life, reappear with a vengence through my subconscious (CBT helped clarify that).

    So I have the physical AND the psychological demons to fight.

    To be honest, if I'd known how things would turn out years ago, I don't think I'd be here now! It's a real struggle every single day.

    The moral here is please don't wish on yourself additional layers of missery.

    My best wishes to all,

    Alex

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  • Posted

    Hi Courtney. My really silly health fear is.....getting a migraine! I have had these all my life ususally only two or three a year but now I am terrified of getting one. No idea why. Also I get chest pains (tension) arm numb, tingling fingers, freezing cold feet, feeling weak and wobbly, strange sensations in the head, can't think straight or get organised, too depressed to bother doing anything etc. Mostly thought I was getting aheart attac k or going blind. The real anxiety I havenis that there is something terribly wrong with me, that I am mentally ill, that I will never get better, that I will die horribly etc. Everything is a worse case scenario. I am very afraid of being on my own. I fear feeling my emotions.whether sadness, anger or fear. When I do I feel out of control and it is too much to cope with. 
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  • Posted

    Hi again. I gave a list of some symptoms and things I fear. Don't take them as a cue to add to your own list of fears lol!

    Also, even though I know that all these fear inducing thoughts are not real (and have proved that to myself many many times), when they happen, they seem so real and extreme that I still believe them. It is the most totally believable illusion when it happens. Utterly convincing.  I have to try hard to remind myself that it is all bullsh.t. Something that helps me is I have a list of reminders that I wrote down when not anxious. I read the list and it helps to calm me down. Also reading certain parts of self-help books ( I mark the pages with a post-it note so I can go to it quickly) Books that help me are 'The Fear Book' by Cheri Huber, and  'self help for your nerves' by dr. claire weekes. Big hugs and thanks for replying.

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  • Posted

    Yes and I feel that it is because there is still a stigma around mental health. Having a physical problem would make it easier to tell people why you can't do certain things. I was having heart tests at the hospital today and even the nurse kept whispering the word 'anxiey' instead of saying it out loud.
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