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Don't know what I want or need. Confused.

Posted , 7 users are following.

oliver1994
oliver1994

So.... My depression went away for a day. They day I got so off my head I blacked out for 5 hours. The thoughts... wow at least 3 times a day minimum the suicide comes into my head. Visions of how. How would be best to end my life? Ah il cross the bridge when I come to it.

It's my birthday next week 😆 21!!

Should be happy. On top of the world! I used to be such a happy guy. No every day is filled with depression.

I want to die.

1 like, 9 replies

9 Replies

  • lorraine52317
    lorraine52317 oliver1994

    Posted

    Hi oliver

    So sorry for your suffering. Do you mind me asking how long you have suffered with depression? Unfortunately with depression you can feel better one day and the next you can feel so desperately unwell. It can get disheartening but remember you will get better in time. Have you spoken to the doctor about your suicidal thoughts?

    You are still very young and have so much life to enjoy. I know it may not seem that way now but trust me you will get better and please speak to a professional about your feelings.

    I really wish you better Oliver and hope these thoughts leave you quickly.

    We are all here to help you in any way we can. Even if it's just to talk things through.

    Stay in touch

    God bless you

    Lorraine x

    • oliver1994
      oliver1994 lorraine52317

      Posted

      Thank you for responding. The fact that I will be happy one day is the only thing keeping me going at the moment if it wasn't for that I don't know where I would be. I have dreams of traveling the world you know. One day I might. Im just at rock bottom I can't see any way forward at the moment and it makes me sick to my stomach
    • lorraine52317
      lorraine52317 oliver1994

      Posted

      Hi oliver

      Keep the focus on your future. I know how it feels to be rock bottom and fully understand the depth of suffering you are experiencing. It's hard to imagine things getting better but I promise you they will. Are you taking any antidepressants and if so how long have you been on them?

      Keep in touch as many times as you want. I mean that from the heart.

      Lorraine x

    • oliver1994
      oliver1994 lorraine52317

      Posted

      No. I really don't want to go on them. Some of my family where on them and got addicted rolleyes I'm trying my best to be positive but don't know how long I can keep it up
    • lorraine52317
      lorraine52317 oliver1994

      Posted

      Hi oliver

      I really hope you will have a chat with your doctor. Depression is an awful illness and you may get a medication that will really start to make make you make you feel better. I know you mentioned your worried about addiction but that's very unlikely. Your situation and suicidal thoughts outweigh worrying about possible addiction. Which again is very unlikely.

      Do everything you can to relieve your suffering. Life will be good again oliver.

      God bless

      Lorraine xx

    • hypercat
      hypercat oliver1994

      Posted

      Hi Oliver how long ago were your relatives on them?   I ask this because ad's years ago could be very addictive but there are a lot of newer meds out now which aren't.   

      Often depression goes away without treatment but sometimes it won't, so unless you want to carry on suffering you need to think carefully before turning them down.   Like Lorraine said is it better to be suicidal or addicted?  I know which I would prefer.   x

  • babs95590
    babs95590 oliver1994

    Posted

    Hi Oliver,

    I just wated to tell you that your not alone in this.  I too am battling my own depression now.  I understand how you feel.  I hope that you will focus on the future because from my experience.  while waht your feeling now is horribly frustrating.  I promise you get through this please believe that there are better days ahead.

    It's hoping and staying focused on the near future when the depression has subsided.  I've been reading some articles good psycology sites so that I can find a solution to get better quicker.

    I know it hard but hang in there you will get better...

    And remember your not alone.

    Have a happy birthday!

    Amanda

     

  • patricia44773
    patricia44773 oliver1994

    Posted

    There is obviously something troubling you, do you want to talk about it Oliver?  Something has brought you to this dark place and you need to talk about it.

    If you can't talk to a friend or a relative....or on here, then you need to see your doctor and find some therapy.

    All your life is in front of you.  Traveling is the love of my life, but I have only been able to do what I have by staying alive long enough to be able to do it.

    When I was 21 I was in a terrible place with no hope for the future.  Many, many years later I have been to all corners of the world and seen things that most people only dream of.  That could be you.

    If you take your life now you will miss the most amazing things that would blow your mind.

    Take care....and please, please talk...to anyone.

    Pat xx

  • Misssy2
    Misssy2 oliver1994

    Posted

    Do you know what started you feeling this way?

    It went away for a day and it can leave again.

    Death is final..you have a purpose..you are only 21...you matter.

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