Posted , 6 users are following.
Hello guys, I'm 20yo, I have a full scholarship in medicine, I already have 2 years studying, Im 4 years away from graduate. The thing is that from the last year I realised this is not something I want to do with my life, Im sciency, I like the topics as much I woul like topics about physics or any other science topic, But a career is not about only liking the topics, I cant say I like a whole woman if I only like his ass. I told my mom (Because my dad is completely dettached in all the emotional, social and psychological spectrum) about that, she said:
- Only when you finish medicine you can do whatever you want.
I have already other issues in my life and I dont want my career being part of them, I cant get a part time job, first because of the exigences of my career, second because is a requeriment for my scholarship to not work.
My performance is been going down in a freefall, although I have a 3.48 GPA, I don't feel I'm doing what I should be supposed to do. I'm thinking about failing in all the subjects of my next period, so I'll lose my scholarship and my stupid mom wont make me going to medicine because it's too expensive for she, being the only support in my house and being just a teacher in a 3rd world country.
I got my fears and doubts about this because is kinda drastic, and I'm afraid that could cause me damage in future scholarships options.
But is that I feel my creative potential is going to waste. I used to read a lot, to draw, to make comics, stories, I make poetry, I've won contests in ortography and essays, I would like to have a dynamic job using creativity, Im thinking about mixing it all together and learn to make "thoughtfull animations" or something like that, But always I think about this I get sad because I also think is too dumb and is some of the worst ideas Ive ever had, I dont think I could make a living of this.
But I feel dehumanized, a mechanical walking receptor and repeater of book contents, Im sleep deprived, I have neglected my body (I dont know is thats the right expression), I'm gaining wight, Im feeling tired, I stopped exercising because Im so down that every movements feels too heavy and in that moment I feel the urge to cry.
I'm crying more than ever the last days. I feel stuck. Hope you can help giving me ideas.
0 likes, 6 replies