Don't know what to do with myself

Posted , 10 users are following.

Hi, I have sometimes felt anxious and depressed in my life, but this time it feels different. I'm 48 and my youngest has turned 18. I feel a bit redundant and suddenly old. I'm not sure what I want to do next. I keep going over things in my mind as if I'm searching for an answer, but I don't even know what the question is. I know nothing is wrong but I feel unsettled and worried, but also bored and tired. Is this a common middle age thing? I've felt like it all year to a greater or lesser degree.

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  • Posted

    Oh dawn I know what you are going through. I have the same feelings. Im 48 my youngest turned 19 in march. My two oldest are 23 and 27 which both are married, my 23 old lives 8 hours away from me and she is 6 months pregnant sad... I miss her so much. I go through bouts all the time with depression, anxiety. I have a hard time enjoying anything anymore it hard to get motivated to do anything all I wanna do is stay home in my jammies. I think all these feelings come along with the change and I am constantly fighting them. I wish I had some helpful advise for you. Im sure someone on here will come along with something helpful its a great forum.with some great smile!!
    • Posted

      Aw! thanks Donna. I have always had low times and I get a bad bout every decade - like some kind of denial about the next stage of life. My 18 year old and my 23 year old are both still at home, but it doesn't help that much. They don't really need me and I am glad they are independent as that is how I raised them, but I just don't know what i am supposed to do now! I used to feel I wasn't achieving enough and that I wasn't good enough, but now I can see I did a really good job and that still doesn't make me feel better. Go figure!! xx
  • Posted

    Dawn my youngest son is 16 and oldest is 20 and I know how you feel as I am turning 50 next week and wonder about my life and how it's going to pan out after I've hit the big '50'. My anxiety has increased and I lack motivation to do much around the house which is very unlike me. However, on a positive note I have a large art studio in my back yard and I teach art journalling, scrapbooking and cardmaking to other ladies who have similar issues but who have something to look forward to each week. It's a really social event and mostly everyone gets along really well. If I didn't have this to look forward to and also designing projects for the ladies to do I know I would fall in a heap. I know not everyone is in to crafting but often just having something to look forwrd to in your life can really help. The sorts of activities may be bushwalking, cooking classes, craft classes, photograhy groups, bus trips, a day out with friends, anything to give your life a bit of outside interest. A few of my friends have said these outings have made them happier and more content. The first step is the hardest and maybe the first thing you try wont suit but perservere and you might find it helps you feel a bit better. All the best xx
    • Posted

      I think the lady who mentioned this, was probably in Australia. I guess countryside walks would be similar smile
    • Posted

      Yes I am from Australia and bushwalking is exactly how Dawn described it (thanks Dawn) - a walk in the countryside describes it perfectly 😊
    • Posted

      I am an Aussie too Patricia. I have a kelpie and walk him in the bush near where I live on the Gold Coast smile
    • Posted

      Hahahaha Janine isn't that funny!! I'm from Gippsland in Victoria and when you mentioned your symptoms to me I excitedly told my hubby "there's a lady over the seas who has EXACTLY the same weird symptoms as me!!!" Turns out not so far away after all, lol 😀
    • Posted

      After we all pass menopause and are feeling our old selves again we should have a convention and meet each other!
    • Posted

      That would be awesome!!!! I probably need to start saving then 👍
    • Posted

      Lol...at last another Aussie wink

      We have similar aged kids too. I have three boys...15 to 20. My husband gets tired of me being sick and tired all the time. I used to never get sick. Now I always have some weird symptom. At the moment I have the burning tongue again. Its great you have the art studio. I really need to get back into my art again. I am just so unmotivated..its an effort sometimes to colour my hair to cover my greys! smile

      Happy 50th for next week too.....mine is next year in October......it doesn't worry me turning 50....i just want to feel like my old self again. My head feels 25 still but my body feels 80.

    • Posted

      Lol Janine we are 2 peas in a pod. My hubby just wants to start travelling a bit as he's near retirement but I just want to get through a few weeks without having any weird or new symptoms!!! Urgh, it's ever ending isn't it?!
    • Posted

      What a party that would be!!! When we've all got past menopause - all that accumulated trapped happiness bursting out in one venue! WOW! Think it would be an all-nighter!! And I would get to meet my long lost sister!!!(joke between me & CCinCalbiggrin The next time I can't sleep I will try to think of this party - happy days!! xxx
    • Posted

      Hi Patricia...i know what you mean. Its the worst timing to go through this. I don't have time for it! I still work part time and its a struggle to go somedays as i get random flat days/anxiety. I have had nearly every symptom in the perimenopause list. I get crashing fatigue too...do you get that? Usually I am full of energy but really struggle now. I am lucky my family is supportive but they don't understand it. My older sister never had a problem...just a bit sweaty then her periods stopped. My younger sister is starting to have a few odd things happen but only 43 so it may be still coming. I started about 45 and one of the first things I remember were the aching arm muscles. Keep in touch and have a great day smile
    • Posted

      Janine you are my peri-sister!!! I can totally relate to the fatigue, some days I'm fine and other days it's terribly hard to drag my carcass ot of bed and get on with the day. I was an 'accident' as my Mum and Dad already had 3 children and that was going to be it. I am actually 15 years younger than my closest sister (the other had a hystorectomy around the age of 35 due to some seriously weird vomiting episodes she gets fortnightly, which didn't help at all) and like your sister she tells me she breezed through menopause. She tells me Mum didn't have a good time of it though. Looks like it's not going to end anytime soon. *sigh*.
    • Posted

      I wish you could too Callianne, it's a lot of fun and I fondly refer to it as "Physio for the Soul" 😁

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