Don't know who I am anymore!
Posted , 13 users are following.
I thought great, now it's time for me, being a wife and Mother. Three children have all gained University degree's, all have good jobs and are happy. A husband who plays golf up to 4 times a week and happy. Now it's my time. My time to enjoy going shopping, weekends away, friends, etc, etc, ect. Then the menopause hits with a very very big BANG!!
I ache all over. My mood swings are unreal. I am so emotional. Anxiety attacks. Panic attacks. Do not want to meet high maintenance friends. Do not want to enter into conversations, as I do not want to constantly defend and talk about how I feel. I am a Pisces, always been caring, bubbly and friendly. I now do not know who I am most days! Lost myself. Can not make decisions. Not interested in sex. It hurts. Vaginal dryness. My ovaries feel like they are being squeezed and wrung out. Lethargic. Sleep is disruptive. Restless leg syndrome. Indigestion. Getting up to go to the loo.
Is there anyone else who feels like I do?
1 like, 25 replies
didi0613 SJane129
Posted
Yesss... just keep focused on positive things. Keep moving, busy your mind with happy thoughts and daily things you have to do, take vitamins, get lots of rest, hydrate yourself, exercise or yoga, long walks in the park, hanging out with your friends and family are all good things.Some days it's harder to do most of these things, but staying positive, and enjoying life as much as you can is so important. Your symptoms will ease up over time, but know we are all going through it together. You are not alone.
SJane129 didi0613
Posted
Thank you so much for taking the time and trouble to reply.
It makes me smike to think you have taken valuable time out to reply to me.
I do exercise, 3 times a week, Booaika, Zumba and PT. I took these up before I felt rubbish. As I wanted to kerp my body flexibke so I could still walk around in my 60s/70s and 80s!
My diet is wuite healthy, though, I am over weight, always have been, I can live with that.
Its all the other things I mentioned. My husband of 35 years has no understanding what so ever and thinks I am rejecting him. How do you explain that your sex drive has just got lost?
My children, 30, 27 and 25 are all trying to help me, in fact told me to join a forum. I am 58 and like I said just started to enjoy freedom and had money to soend on me, but has just had a big slap not only in the face but all over! I feel like 's**t' most days.
I do not want to go on HRT!! Do not take any meds and dont want to. Am I being stupid?
Thanks so much for listening x
SJane129
Posted
Sorry fat fingers and loads of spelling mistakes!!! 🙄
Gigi368 SJane129
Posted
Hi SJane!
You are definitely not alone and you came to the right place! I found this group a few weeks ago looking for answers. It's been a life saver! Finally people who understand! I had a hysto 16 yrs ago and am post meno according to my doc, but I now have atrophy and symptoms I never had I'm having now. I had almost convinced myself I had some horrible disease until I found this site! I have suffered panic and anxiety for over 20 yrs and it's worse now. But I take medication for it, plus I have heart and blood pressure issues and have to take meds for those too. I hate it. Last week I added Estrace Cream to my list of things I do not want to take! Not to get too personal or give too much info, but I'm rather surprised with the Estrace Cream, it has, in only a week rekindled my interest in sex. I have atrophy and in July my world came crashing down, aside from the crazy symptoms, dizziness, moodiness, never enough sleep, heart palpitations etc, I'm happy that my interest in the bedroom activities has made a come back! It's not like in my 20s but at this point I'm happy. Vaginal hormones won't deal with your other issues but it's something to talk to your doc about and depending on what you and your doc decide on maybe that'll get that area sorted out. I use 1 gram of Estrace Cream at night, for 2 weeks then I'll be cutting back to 2x a week, but when I go in a month for my recheck I'm going to see if I can switch to Vagifem instead bc it's just a tiny pill you insert and no mess.
Hang in there! I'm told it gets better..
SJane129 Gigi368
Posted
Thank you for taking the time to reply to my post.
My daughter, 27, encouraged me to join a forum. It's was just by chance this was the top of the list on Google.
I have had a few responses and all are very supportive, helpful and friendly, just like yours 😊
At my Dr appointment I did ask for help with vaginal dryness, am
nd had researched the pill that is inserted. So, yes, I do have a prescription for the tablet, just have not used it yet. Do you know if it has any side effects?
I like you thought my whole world was falling apart, read into my symptoms and came up with all sorts of dark things....thought I was going to have a heart attack!! Palpitations are terrible and makes me feel very anxious which then has a knock on effect, like a vicious circle!!
Thank you again for your lovely response 😊
Gigi368 SJane129
Posted
I have a prescription for Vagifem, but I didn't end up using it because I got a second opinion and my new doc is much more thoughtful and caring. So I don't know about any side affects with the vaginal tablet. I'm using Estrace Cream at the moment. It's supposed to work a bit faster and its definitely soothing upon first use, for me anyway. I've only used it 4 times, I skipped a night bc I didn't feel very well and wasnt sure if it was side effects or just me, but the dryness is already about 80% better. I can feel a huge difference! This is probably too much info, but last night was the first time since July that my S.O. and I have been intimate. I was scared out of my mind it would hurt or tear something but it was effortless! He said he noticed a difference in the "feel" of things and I had zero pain during or after, much to my relief! Seemed to help my stupid stress level some too LOL! In my short experience with hormones, so far I'm happy. I was loathe to add another medication but if we don't do something sooner than later we could be in for a longer road than we bargained for. As my doc told me... we have to use it or lose it. As much as I didn't want to be touched or even looked at, in just 4 short days my attitude has changed about that, everything else is still iffy on an hourly basis depending on how I'm feeling
Good Luck and if you don't like what your doc has to say there's no shame in getting a second opinion! I'm on my second gyno in 3 months! Keep us updated and were're here to help and listen!
jude84900 SJane129
Posted
SJane129,
Your story is a familiar one. We reach this point in our lives when children are raised and just then can we feel a sigh of relief. Oh yes, the grand plans when our children are raised. Things were going to do and oh just think when these periods finally end I'm going to be free. Oh how life through us this curve ball we never seen coming. I am 57, three grown children couldn't wait for my periods to end so I could now enjoy a life with not so many demands. I ended my periods a little over two years ago and within 4 months vaginal dryness came. At first we blow it off and think, wow that is weird, never had this problem before, then it happens again and again. So many other symptoms that go with depleting hormones and the more you read the worse it seems sometimes. Like you I was never one that took any medication, none! I was going to go through this menopause thing like a champ, natural. I started reading everything I could find and what I found was alarming. Thinning skin, hot flushes, night sweats, thinning hair, vaginal atrophy, yes the list goes on. Surely there has got to be something for women to stop this deterioration of our bodies, literally. I almost got on anti depressants myself. Thought I was cracking up. I refused to go down this road which many doctors seem to hand out first thing for menopause. Watched too many peoples life still not get any happier being on anti depressants, including my own sisters. I have read so much on hormones. The information is out there. Replenishing your hormones with Natural, not synthetic hormones is what will keep us healthy and happy. Estrodial, Estriol, Progesterone, Testosterone. This is why you feel the way you do. Most general doctors don't study hormone replacement enough or at all and that goes for menopause too. Find a good doctor, typically a holistic or alternative doctor that will take the time to run labs on you, talk to you and more than a 10 min in and out appointment. They will put you on what your body needs and what your symptoms show. Intimacy is still important to have in a relationship. It really does keep us happy and healthy if everything is working right. Sex isn't fun when we have no lubrication, I've been there. Some women that can't take estrogen replacement can benefit from just replenishing their testosterone. Yes, women's testosterone is depleting too. If we didn't need anti depressants when we were young why should we need them now? I have been on bio identical hormone replacement for two years. If you have the right doctor that will start you off slow on BHRT you could very well get YOU back. For me it was a breeze, still has been with a few adjustments. I can't say loud enough though that a good doctor that knows what the heck their doing is key to your success. Men go through their own men O pause too. Their testosterone is depleting too and when it gets to the bottom, so do they. They are more apt to lay around on the couch, sit in front of the tv and not get much done. Their interests change too where things they once use to do are not so appealing to them anymore either. Don't want to golf, don't want to go hunting with the buddies, don't want to have sex, yes, you heard that right. When the testosterone runs out in a man sex is just not important to them anymore either. My husband is on bio identical testosterone replacement therapy as well. Believe me, I too felt like you. " Don't know who I am anymore". You can be happy again. BTW, I will be on my hormones from here on out. I am not planning on getting off them. Why would you get off if your staying healthy and happy? Good Luck to you.
jan66332 SJane129
Posted
Hey yeah I can relate to all of that and more... try to keep busy and do things for you... when I’m at work I want to be home when I’m home I want to be somewhere else I cannot make my mind up about anything , my brain is foggy my tummy bloated palpertations anxiety emotional about anything and everything , your definatly not alone with how your feeling , I feel like my body has been overtaken by the perimenopause and I’m not liking who and how I’m feeling , I find sitting thinking makes it so much worse ... hang in there Hun and remember your not alone 💕
SJane129 jan66332
Posted
Thanks so much for replying 👍🏽
Ditto to what you said. I am at work now, fighting back tears, emotional wrek!! It seems I have been taken over, my mouth comes out witg what I am thinking, not always suttle!! Not like me at all!!!
You take care too and thanks for your care x
dawn70425 SJane129
Posted
Hi there
Rrrrr bless you, I'm the same, use to be out with friends and what ever, then hit 50 wham the menopause kicks in, worse nitemare ever, hot sweets, depression hit bad, and going to bed was a nitemares as couldn't sleep, and was very irratable, kicking legs around as tho I'm fighting with the bed lol, I live alone which is good job as I think I would of killed some one if they were in the same bed as me😡
It's been 3 years now and things are slowing down a little, but that maybe because Iv been put on high does of antidepressants which mite of help a little...
I still don't want to go out the house to meet friends, but in time hoping I will get back to being me again..
I can't have HRT due to blood clots on my lungs a few years ago, but maybe talking to your doctor may help, and see if there's any thing for you, don't sit and suffer in silence if there is a chance for you to feel soon what better about your self ..
I agree there's a lot of us out there all the same, fighting the menopause, and the one thing to hold on to is that there will be a end to this alfull menopause...
When, who knows, as we are all different woman, but u will ...
I wish u all the best, and a big hug to you, take care 🙂 X
SJane129 dawn70425
Posted
What a loveky lady you are to taj time out to reply to me. Never thought that I would get any repsonces. I am not a convident person.
I can relate to all what you said. There has been times that I have moved beds to get away from my husband, cuz as quite a placid person normally, I did feel I could have stabbed him just for disturbing what little sleep I was getting with his snorning!! Sleep to me was so easy before the menopause, so sleep deprived now, its horrid.
I did go to GP, but with only a 10 minute appointment, I felt under pressure just to get how I was feeling into that time!!! So, have an utrasound appointment tomorrow, to check my pelvic area!! HRT, I have read so many different reports, which are confusing to say the least, especially when I cant make decisions!!!
You take care and thank you so much for taking the time out to replt 😘 I know it can take years!! I just want me back ??
dawn70425 SJane129
Posted
You sound like such a sweet, sweet lady, and I hope all goes well with your ultrasound, I know I think you said not keen on taking tablets, but if I'm right u live in England ??? Yeah?? Going by the doc ten min appointment lol, yeah they don't seem to have enough time with you, it's as tho they want u in and out, so not to make them late for others...
Iv tried ' kalms' tablet as they are herbal from Heath store or most places sell them, and they are to help take the edge of the menopause, and anxiety, they do have a good review from other woman taking them, you can buy of the Internet as well, just thought I'd tell you about these, incase u feel in the end that you need to try some thing, and with them being herbal they may not be as frightening for you to take..
I wish you , all the best in the world, and keep talking to others and on these forums like this, to give you some courage your not alone in going through this, I'm here for you if you need to rant and rave, I will always lend a ear, on here or you can always email me personally ...
You take care u wonderful lady 😁 X
SJane129 dawn70425
Posted
Oh wow, what a lovely responce 😊
People used to think I was a lovely lady 😃, but, not so sure they think that anymore. I have been keeping my distance from a few of my friends recently. I really can not cope with 'high' maintainance friendships! I have found that some friendships have not helped me one bit with how I am feeling. Very disappointing to be perfectly honest! Especially, as I have always been 'there' for them through their tough times (not menopause).
You take care and yes, I am here for you too. You can email me xx
Aberzerk72 SJane129
Posted
Feel exhausted trying to find cures which increases stress and now I have crazy chest tightness.
I feel like I live at doctors insteD of the gym.
It blows!!
I’m going to look into HRT.. it’s worth paying to balance this nightmare out.
I can’t take pills bc I’m allergic to the fillers.
I get what you mean tho I feel like I’m becoming withdrawn and trying to stay positive isn’t always easy.
But I’m trying to keep my mind strong with light exercise and music to keep my soul happy.
Baby steps
SJane129 Aberzerk72
Posted
Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post. 😊
I am really unsure about taking HRT....I have read so many reports about it. One being that it only delays the symptoms and when you stop taking them the symptoms come back!
I have started Zumba, Booiaka and have PT and like you enjoy dancing, even tho I am 58! I to go to gigs Clean Bandid, Craig David, Two Door Cinema Club, Rudimental, etc, etc, so am keeping young in that way, but feel so ancient in other ways due to these disabilitaing symtoms! x